HOW AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much for sharing this. It fills me with such hope and joy to hear stories like this. Just goes to show we do not know what the future may hold for our precious kids. Anything is possible, only God know what will be. I am sharing this story with my family. Thanks Again, made my day!!! ;D
I agree a WONDERFUL story. I am excited that we can all look to the future and see examples like this .
I will tell you as the parent of an adult and having many friends who also have adults in their lives with DS that it still takes a lot of parental involvement to orchestrate situations like the one in this article. I have a friend now whose daughter's (DS) marriage after a year and a half is ending in divorce. Lots of reasons have played into the failure of this marriage. It is not something to be entered into lightly and I fear that while it sounds very typical and glamorous for our kids that in some cases it might not be based on a firm enough foundation. When your child enters into a relationship like this you essentially become the parents of TWO adults with disabilities. The same tug of war that goes on in many traditional marriages between the in laws occurs in these marriages as well.
I think if your child has a serious signficant other it would be well to make sure that the 'other' has a family that you can communicate with before you set your sights on nuptuals. I think it is also important to make sure that your child's attraction to someone else is a REAL attraction not something you have promoted.
People with DS are totally capable of forming strong and emotional relationships with each other...expressing love...but I see parents all the time still trying to promote these relationships and make them into more than just a friendship.
Emily has had a young man for years in her life (non DS) who would love to marry her. He drives and is more capable than she is so it would make for a pretty good situation. His parents are very different than us are but are nice and caring people and I think would work well as inlaws. HOWEVER...Em has made it very clear that he is not HER choice...LOL. He is her very good friend...but it stops...there! In fact at this point in time she has NO desire to marry anyone. I think she is totally happy as the princess on the velvet cushion in her room upstairs in Katie's house.
There is a lot of excitement now at her ARTs program in the form of a couple with DS having just gotten engaged. So ...as this becomes an item we shall see if her attitude changes.
But while marriage seems like a great idea ...it is not without its hardships and work for everyone. As a mom...I admit...I dream of Em in a wedding dress...and the fun of all the social whirl that would go with it...BUT only if and when SHE wants to and if it appears to have a chance of success...and...the older I get the less convinced I am that I want to have the responsibility for another person with a disablity.
Not to dash anyones hopes and dreams...and KUDOS big time to that lovely couple. Just some food for future thought...and my personal feelings.
I was hoping you'd have something to say about this, Jackie Keeps it all in perspective.
I did notice that the article mentioned many of the things that the parents do for this couple and it seemed that they must have sat down early on to iron out the details of who did what. Seemingly this is a success story with both sets of parents providing more help for the two, but less because it's shared with the other parents.
Chris - Ron's wife & mom to Mary(17), Katie(15), Betsy(12), William(9), Davey(8), and Stevie(6)