Rant - from the new Jay Leno show -Thurs

[TriciaF]

Hi friends....haven't been here in forever...but I am on a soapbox tonight. Just shooting off messages of complaint to the new Jay Leno Show website as follows:

Just writing to say I love the new show, but.....as a mother of a young son with special needs, I spend a good part of my time dealing with the uninformed perceptions of some of the public. I spent my day trying to open people's minds to having my son spend parts of his day in a regular classroom and then I get to listen to this excuse for humor? It doesn't help to have comedians like the guy you showcased tonight, coming on a popular new show and saying a bit where the punch line was "it was like going on a special ed class trip". Come on...if you can't get a laugh without making fun of the mentally disabled...how great a writer are you?! And believe me....it doesn't go over well with his 15 year old brother and cousins who have to hear it, too. Why do people think its ok to do this? We can whine and make fun of Joe Wilson, Kanye West and Serena Williams.....but this guy's behaviour is no better. He doesn't get a pass in the name of comedy. Please have some consideration.

[Chris too]

Do you suppose Jay wanted his own show so that he could have comedians on like this one?

It seems to me that we can't make any progress on this front. It is frustrating. I go back and forth with otherwise intelligent, thoughtful people who can't seem to get it that mental disability is not a joke - "Oh, but at least they have an excuse ," they say. "But that guy is a real r..." I don't know why they don't get it, but the best I seem to be able to get is a promise to try to replace their derisive mental-disability words with more generic insults. *sigh*

[Jackie]

Thanks for doing this Tricia...I watched that too and jumped up and started pounding the couch (scared Ed to death) and said...oh no...he's done it again. I understand you can watch all his episodes online so everyone can google up last nites and watch it yourself...its in the second half. Yes it really was bad...and he went on and on as well and the joke (not a very good one at that ) just go worse and worse.

Like Tricia said he compared taking his kids to a restaurant being like when you are out and a bus pulls up and lets off a special ed class...goes into pulling out the juice boxes, no silverware...etc..etc...yu get the point....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

The guy was not very funny anyhow...INMHO.

I might be writing too...guess O's remarks paved the way for all on his show.

Jackie

[TriciaF]

Ok, I am further depressed. The guy's name is Tom Papa and it says he co-stars in The Informant. I have been looking forward to seeing the movie for a month now....opened tonight....hope I can still enjoy it. I emailed him...wonder if he will see the email?

[CC]

I go back on forth with issues like this too Its tough because comedians go off on all different kinds of people and lots laugh so how do you get them to stop them from making fun of ones with disabilities when its then OK for them to make fun of say someone's looks or religion, etc., KWIM Its hard cause why is OK to laugh and mock on some people for whatever but not on others

Don't get me wrong I am with you and if I had seen the show I am sure I would not have laughed or found it one bit funny. I am just not sure how you can stop it as long as there are comedians

Jackie you said "guess O's remarks paved the way for all on his show"

With all due respect you are entitled to your opinion BUT honestly to blame Obama or suggest that Obama may have made it OK for this is kind of silly, in my opinion. Things like this have happen on Leno show and many other shows way before Obama.

CC

[TriciaF]

Well, I am calmer tonight. I got a short response from Tom Papa and responded to him as follows. I added a picture of Patrick. Don't know if it will have any impact...but I guess you never know?

From: Tom Papa
To: Patricia
Sent: Friday, September 18, 2009 10:14 PM
Subject: Re: jay leno show


Sense of humor is a wonderful thing. No offense.

Here was my response:

Thank you for responding. I wholeheartedly agree that a sense of humor is a wonderful thing and there's not much I enjoy more than comedy....my favorite show is The Colbert Report. But whether you intend offense or not, the point is you are appearing on national television and communicating to a huge audience that making fun of the mentally disabled is not only okay....but really funny. You make an impact and the fact is that we, the families of the mentally disabled and the self advocates, have to fight that much harder to overcome these stereotypes that you perpetuate. And that affects all areas of their lives, from attending class with typical peers to finding a job. Its a constant uphill battle to convince people to view the strengths of these kids rather than the deficits.

My son Patrick has Down syndrome and is nine years old. He reads, does math, wants to join the boy scouts and would like to be an astronaut and a fireman and a policeman....he loves Spongebob, plays soccer, and thinks homework is "lame" and "boring". He is more like typical children than he is different and is a pleasure to be around. By the way, I've been on many field trips with Patrick and his class....and I can promise you, his behavior is often much better than some of his "typical" peers. And while there are definitely challenges involved in raising a child with Ds, the largest challenge of all, the most frustrating, is changing the attitudes of other people and institutions like schools and businesses. And that is directly related to my son's future...whether he will have an opportunity to continue his education, get a job, get married. That's why your remarks are so incendiary to our community. It's not that we are the PC police...we are fighting to open minds and acts like yours set us back. We don't have many national platforms to counteract the damage.

I don't know you personally, but we are both parents. Perhaps from that perspective you can relate. Surely you have hopes and dreams for your children, as I do for Patrick. Please don't help to limit his. Your words do have power. I wish you success in your career...and have been looking forward to seeing The Informant.

Sincerely,

[Emilysmom]

Watched the video. Like Jackie said, it was easy enough to do.....just put "Jay Leno Tom Papa" into the Yahoo search and up came the link to his whole bit. You don't have to wait long for him to make fun of kids with special needs.........it's within the first minute of his piece.
Sickening to hear the whole audience laugh as he makes fun of OUR kids.
And we think things are better than they were years ago when people referred to kids with Ds as "Mongoloids"? I wonder. If their very lives are still being used as material for commedians, and audiences still laugh........sadly I think we haven't come all that far.

And there are still those who dearly love children with special needs, and have no problem with the attitude behind jokes such as this. (And to me, it is not only the words they use, but the attitude behind it. )My father, for example. He adores Emily. We talk at length about her and her future, etc. But, when the movie "Tropic Thunder" came out and I was furious about it (I mean......I haven't heard of anything worse than that in Emily's lifetime), my dad said ....................."Honey, I just wish you could get to the place where you did not let stuff like that affect you so much. You'll be happier if you just realize that people have ALWAYS made fun of various groups of people, and accept it as humor". He gave examples of various groups of people he has heard jokes about over his 75 years of life.........and trust me, I saw those things as totally offensive too!!!

We can not justify the actions of any commedian who chooses to use kids with special needs to ridicule by saying that there are also other groups that are ridiculed. If/when we know about those other groups, we should (and probably do) stop laughing at those things too!

Thank you, Tricia for caring enough to write the letters. IF it changes the attitude of just one person....and it could....then we can continue to dream of a kinder place for our children to live. I'm going to continue to hope for that.

[TriciaF]

Well, I am pleasantly surprised....I am actually liking Tom Papa. He did read and respond to my last email. Of course, he still has many misconceptions.....like so much of the public.....but I am not going to demonize him.....he is probably just like alot of our friends, families, co-workers, etc.... He reminds me of the response I sometimes get when I try to calmly tell someone close to me that we don't say "retard" or "retarded" about something ...we say dumb or stupid (not good either). They are often truly baffled and when I go on to explain that because it is offensive to people like Patrick (and those who love him) who have mental retardation, they say....."well Patrick is not retarded"! So then I have to get all educational on them and explain that yes, by educational standards, medical diagnosis, etc..... he does have that designation. yada yada yada..

Anyway, here is Tom's email. I will respond to him....just want to give a little thought as to what to say. Before I wrote the last email, I watched his bit again (less emotionally) and it crossed my mind while watching it....oh boy, bet he's gonna hear from the pit bull people.


Here is the email from Tom:

The funniest part is that I'm responding again. But you're area is more important to me. I won't be going on to respond the angry pitbull people, anti-pitbull people, people who complained about how I depicted old people, or for that matter my mother or wife. (Pitbull group by far the most annoyed)

But to you I will say this.

Our family has it's fair share of handicapped, mentally and physically challenged and those who call themselves normal and are anything but. And from my grandmother on down, laughing at ourselves is our way, and always has been. It takes all the power away from anyone who thinks they are laughing at us.

You are correct that words matter and that is why I I say 'special ed'. Because I am not talking about mentally challenged children. I am talking about the rowdy special ed kids that I grew up with and my father teaches. None of which have downs or anything worse than ADD.
And that is why I perform for charities and fund raisers for a long list of groups including your own.

That being said, I understand your sensitivity.
Have fun, enjoy and he looks like a laugher!

Tom

[TriciaF]

Here's the picture I sent with my email.

Attachments:

[char]

Nobody can convince me that it is ok to make jokes about people....period. I have NO way of knowing what might be hurtful when I'm around people so it's best that I not make jokes that could possibly offend.

I simply could not stand to have Abby put in a position of being hurt.

[Emilysmom]

Tricia~ What a great pic of Patrick! ! ! He's grown into a handsome young man, even though I still picture him as the little guy in the swimming pool with Collin in Cincinnati...........guess that's been like 8 years ago??? Mercy!

I'm so glad Tom Papa listened and responded to you. It sounds like what I have thought all along....even though people using the "R" word and making fun of kids with disabilities make me angry and hurt, I never think it is a good idea to respond to them angrily. Just sounds like a hot head or someone with a chip on their shoulder and I'm not wanting to be like that at all.
At first, I thought he was referring to "pit bull people" as those who come off angrily toward him when he makes jokes about their kids......but I think he must have also made jokes about dog fighting or something?? Anyway, I'm so glad you wrote to him, glad for the way you wrote to him, and glad he responded to you.