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Post by laurasnowbird on Feb 7, 2010 11:10:27 GMT -5
Very well said, Susan!!! And I think the example of your grandmother is a PERFECT illustration of why integration can drastically change a person's perspective.
And I believe, as you do, that each of us can help to make that change. My friends don't use the word any longer - they're aware of its hurtfulness. I'm sure they would be using it still had I not spoken up and told them how it made me feel. Now if they slip and use it they apologize.
I spoke to a class at Michigan State University last week, and I took the opportunity at the very end of my time to discuss the "r" word. I referenced the current dialogue involving Mr. Emanuel, and most of them indicated they were aware of the circumstances and the ensuing hoopla. They were a very interactive and engaged class, so I made light of the situation a little bit, and said, "OK, before I begin, I'd like to say this - DO NOT nod your head if you do this, or have done it, because right now I like you guys, and if I see a bunch of head nodding, I might feel differently.
I'll bet you've use the word retarded sometimes, right? DON'T NOD!! I used to, but I've learned better. It's a hateful word, one that causes deep pain to people like my son and their families. It's been used to highlight their differences and to keep them down. Be part of the movement to stop the use of that word. Teach your friends, teach your families, teach your children when you have them, that is not an acceptable use of the word."
If even one of those young people stops using the word because I shared it's ability to hurt, then I'm happy. And if lots of them do, I'm ecstatic! We can all work on our own little corner of the world!
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Post by Jackie on Feb 7, 2010 15:39:34 GMT -5
good post Susan...good analogies. I feel that political correctness as a movement has sort of gotten out of hand and because of it ...now the whole issue of it has become a source of satire, and ridicule. If you think about it...for most of us the R word evokes a deep and agressively defensive emotion when we hear it used. But many of my friends think I am overly concerned about its use. But I am sure within each of my friends and also the general public there is a word or phrase that would evoke the same resonses in them if someone pushed the right button.
When I heard Bernie Goldberg make the comments he did...I can frankly tell you I wanted to hurl insults at him beginning with calling him Fat and then going after him with religious slurs. Of course I didn't but was amazed that deep inside of me those words and connotations were still there. Had a long silent talk with myself about not being any better than he was... but having the good sense not to say things like that aloud. Sort of an eye opener for me. I still believe it is right to push for better understanding and disuse of the word RETARD or any other words that cause people to sterotype people with developmental disabilities, minorities, physical problems, etc.
I try to be politically correct but I still make mistakes...but hopefully my mistakes are not by using the words that ..hurt. I feel there is still a lot I dont know in the disability world about other disabilities and what to say and what NOT to say. For instance the Little People issue. I always thought midget was a medically correct term...it was when I was in Occupational Therapy training. Midgets were small correctly porportional people and Dwarf meant small but disproportional in size. But apparently that is all passe now and I have a lot of learning to do. I hear now that "midget" is used by people to describe things or situations much like our R word.
And as much as I like Sarah Palin...I lost some respect today when I saw her interview on Fox. She did an excellent job of fielding questions about Rahm Emanuel and took him to task quite nicely for what he said and her pledge to stand up for people with special needs. It sounded quite sincere and real. BUT...then she was asked about Rush Limbaugh saying a "retard" is a "retard"...she said (smiliing) that it wasn't the same...that he was just being satirical! Sigh...so...SHE still doesn't get it.
A lot of this is still..."walk a mile in my shoes "stuff...you sort of have to be there to understand it. But let's still keep up the good fight and maybe use our soap boxes to fight for lots more for our kids ...as well as promoting correctness.
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Post by char on Feb 12, 2010 18:32:51 GMT -5
It's all so easy for some jerk to think that it's "too politically correct" until something hits his or her family. I remember when my co-worker continually used the word "retard" at the point where I was not sure Abby would live.
It was all I could do to keep my mouth shut but couldn't comment because I needed a job.
If anything, politicians should be held to a higher standard than the average person since they represent America.
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Post by Chris too on Feb 16, 2010 11:35:33 GMT -5
Susan, I do think you've stumbled on the answer. The r-word offends those who have close relationships with mentally retarded people - family and friends. If there is more integration, then more and more people will have friends who are mr, and they will finally "get it."
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Post by Chris too on Feb 16, 2010 11:51:13 GMT -5
Bob, after reading that horrible transcript from Rush's show, I must agree - he clearly doesn't get it. He actually thinks its funny (like it's an even bigger insult) that apologies are being made to the retarded community for being lumped in with Dems. It makes me sad. I used to listen to Rush once upon a time, but then he went from making good points without personal insult, however passionately, to making good points with crass language and ill-humor (in addition to some wrong assertions, and bad points). I can't listen to him any more in good conscience. If Palin wants to be taken seriously on this issue - or any - she must stand firm in spite of who is offended. She needn't call for resignations or point fingers, but she must stand and declare that no matter who uses the word as an insult does so with her disapproval. All of this makes me certain that I absolutely must make sure that Stevie makes lots of friends in the community - that they get the chance to get to know her and be hurt personally by the use of the r-word. She's up to it - everyone seems to adore her and she has never met a stranger
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Post by steffipoo on Feb 18, 2010 22:04:31 GMT -5
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Post by steffipoo on Feb 18, 2010 22:06:43 GMT -5
didn't work so heres the article from the washinton post
TED Organizer Trashes Speaker, Fails Social IQ Test TOOLBOX Resize Print E-mail
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Who's Blogging» Links to this article Michael Arrington TechCrunch.com Saturday, February 13, 2010; 10:15 PM
TED Organizer Chris Anderson isn't a man to be trifled with. If you criticize his event you don't get invited back (which is why we see a bunch of nonsense articles about the event that don't mean anything at all, but praise heavily). But it's always fine for Anderson to trash his own speakers."I know I shouldn't say this about one of my own speakers," he said on Twitter, "but I thought Sarah Silverman was god-awful¿"Silverman's crime? She made people uncomfortable by saying, over and over, that she wanted to adopt a retarded child. Like other comedians lately, she was using the word to remove its power to hurt people, and as a jab at Governor Palin's recent jihad against the word.Apparently the TED crowd didn't get the joke.Here's a first hand version of what happened from a TED attendee who asked not to be named, since he or she would certainly never be invited back to the event:What's not funny is when people try to give certain words too much power over you and I think people could forgive the farts, doodies, thingyes and girl thingys (I mean they did in the other talks), but what they couldn't forgive was Sarah Silverman saying with absolute seriousness (I'm recalling from memory):"I want to adopt a special needs child (to which one person applauded), because adopting a special needs child, who would do that? Only an awesome person, right?" I looked around the room and I knew exactly what was coming next. She was going to say retarded and not only was she going to say it, she was going to drop it like 10 times. I knew it wouldn't be ok, but I was excited about it. Words are powerful. They are mightier than the sword and all of that, but if you let them have too much power, you can create what I feel is evil. You create a society of people who are so concerned about what they say and what is PC and you destroy creative expression. Sarah was following suit behind Megan McCain and Stephen Colbert in making fun of Sarah Palin. She didn't say this, but I knew this. Why did I know this? Because this is a trend with comedians right now and I know why they are doing it. They are doing it for a cause. They don't want that word turned into the "r word". Saying the word "retarded" can only have extreme negative power if you let it and Sarah Silverman is brave, because she got on stage in front of some global minds and dropped it over and over and over.She went on to say:"The only problem with adopting a retarded child is that the retarded child, when you are 80 is well, still retarded and that she wouldn't enjoy the freedoms of setting them free at age 18, so she was only going to adopt a retarded child with a terminal illness so it has an expiration date, because who would adopt a retarded child with a terminal illness? Well, someone who was awesome like her".The room went silent and she went on with her show and sang a song about how all of the thingyes in the world couldn't fill your heart holes. So, the theme of TED was "What the world needs now" and I think the world needs more Sarah. The world needs to take many things seriously and many things less seriously. The world needs to get its sense of humor back. It needs to allow people to express themselves without feeling the overwhelming pressures of society bearing down and being a social pariah. Sarah is a super hero in my opinion. When she went off the stage, about half the room applauded and probably half of those only did so out of an automatic response. Then, one brave "soul" as TED would call us shouted out among the silence that followed: ENCORE! ENCORE! ENCORE! and those of us who felt the same way stood up cheering. Collectively, we were loud enough to let the stage manager know we wanted her back and we wanted to hear her say something more, be asked a question or better yet keep performing. They called out to her and for a while it seemed she had already left the building, but she came back on stage and looked confused. They told her, "They wanted you to come back to thank you and we'd do an encore but there's no time, etc. etc." I'm of the opinion that if your crowd wants an encore, you f**king give it to them. Even if it means your schedule runs over. I mean, after all, we are adults. All but maybe 3 members of the audience are adults and anyone who brought kids or kids who attended are well aware they are listening to some grown up ideas. So, you can't use that excuse.No, they were uncomfortable and embarrassed. They had invited Sarah Silverman to TED and she made everyone feel uncomfortable. They should be embarrassed because they didn't bother to watch her work before she came to get a full understanding of who she is and what she does. She's a modern day Joan Rivers! She's going to say thingy, f**k, nuts, poop and guess what. Retard.The whole thing, as TechCrunch would say, was an intelligence test and it had EVERYTHING to do with play. Playing with words and playing with different types of reactions to words and she's a master and for that I applaud her again.And a follow up email:I thought about this even more.I can understand why people don't want a condition used as an insult. If you look up idiot, imbacile, dumb, etc.. they are all derogatory terms for someone with mental retardation, so this condition has been plagued with the condition used as derogatory term for quite some time. I have sympathy for it, but I still think that isn't a reason to stop using the word.I started thinking about the word Nigga and the word gay. Southpark has a great episode on the word gay and how it has morphed from referring to an actual homosexual to meaning something entirely different. So, people were upset about that, but some may argue that the tension between the two sides created more good for gay rights and bringing gays to light than ever before. I know the word nigga has. It pisses me off to no end that I can't use that word out of fear for my own life. Blacks took it away, made it their own and even better made it *COOL* and now I feel jealous about it. I want to walk up to my pals and say "what's up nigga", but I can't, but maybe if someone is brave at TED next year or somewhere else and decides to shock a few people I'll be able to. Now, Chris Anderson might have an issue with the whole talk, the retarded child stuff, the jew stuff, the thingy stuff, the poop and whatever else and maybe his specific issue wasn't that, but that's what everyone talked about afterward. In a conference where so much effort is put on the children, Sarah crossed the comfort bar. It took us out of kumbaya for 18 minutes and made us squirm and laugh.Perhaps TEDsters should just stick to the simple stuff. Slavery sucks, for example. Glad we finally got that controversial topic on the table for discussion.
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Post by victoriasdad on Feb 19, 2010 22:47:38 GMT -5
i remember the "apology" obama issued about the special olympics organization but never apologized to the people in the special olympics.
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