Thanks for the remarks..more info from me

[lybertysmom]

I had the triple screen and a level 2 ultra sound. both showed signs, which isnt a 100% positive indicator no, but according to the councelor it is a very good posibility. We were told that we had a choice on the amnio and to terminate the pregnancy if it is positive even tho I am over 22 weeks already. Me and the daddy have discussed it tho and terminating is NOT an option for us. NO MATTER WHAT happens this is our baby girl and thats it. The thing I'm worried about I guess is the amnio. It's risky and we could lose the baby. They arent sure if they would be able to pick up any health or medical problems till after birth anyway. I have read everything I have been able to get my hands on and I have come to realize that heart defects hearing, and eye sight issues are common problems, but arent diagnosed till after. I love the idea of having a baby and DS or not I am not sure I want to risk the baby for something that doesnt change anything if that makes sense. How risky exactly is the amnio and is it really worth the risk? The doctors will tell you from a medical standpoint, using statistics but I guess I'm looking for a mother or a father who can understand it from a human perspective. Does it matter if I have it or not? Does it really change anything? Was it worth it for you? All I know is I've wanted this child from the moment I found out I was expecting and I don't want to risk losing it. thank you all for your congrats and your help and advice. I appreciate it so much.

[rickismom]

I personally don't think the amnio is worth the risk. Even tho' the risk is low, the risk exists. If you don't have the amnio, you will be in doubt. But you can learn to live with that doubt.
And even If in the end, the child will not have DS, I can guarentee that the monthes you are now in contact with special moms will only make you gratefull for all the good things you have in life, and will enrich you emotionally.
And if the child will have DS., I suspect that you are prepared enough by the knowledge you have now.
All thats just my idea.....

Whatever you choose, whether to have an amnio or not, try and enjoy the pregnancy!!!
PS An ultrasound may show heart problems if they exist, and help you emotionly prepare for that, but not quaranteed 100% at all.

[TriciaF]

Hi again,
I'm sorry you are going through this ordeal. You will be the only one who will know what the right decision (to have the amnio or not) is for YOU. But, it sometimes helps to clarify your thoughts by listening to others and seeing if those comments feel "right" to you. It is an emotional time and that can make decisions more difficult.

I was given a 1 in 13 chance of Ds from the genetic couselor based on AFP results and my age. Nothing really showed up on the high resolution ultrasound other than a nuchal fold measurement in the borderline reading. Like you, there was no way I would ever terminate. I did not want to do the amnio.....although I must say I felt the counselors were really pushing it, which made me angry. The statistics they gave me on the risk of the amnio were somewhere around 1 in 250, if I remember correctly.

But, I knew that the decision was right for me....that I was not going to be obsessed with the though of Ds through the rest of the pregnancy.....and I really wasn't. There was one day that I had a Ds day...long story...but I believe that was a little something God put in my path to use later when needed.

So....whatever you do....and if you choose to leave us for awhile and enjoy life without worries.....just know that we are here and if you should need us later....come on back. Either way.....things will be good, your baby will bring you love and joy and teach you about life all over again.

[CC]

Awww HUGS to you. Personally, I feel to have or not to have an Amino is only a decision you can make. Yes there are risks to the baby with the amino, I don't know the percentage BUT any percentage to me equals risks. That being said, if it doesn't matter either way, just my opinion, I don't see the reason to take ANY risk, BUT again that is me

I will share with you the shorter version of what I have shared here in the past. When I was pregnant with Christopher, I was offered the options of having an amino, went home and talked to Colin bout it all. I asked his opinion and told him but I would make the final decision as I was the one carrying the baby. K, we talked and he shared his thoughts, have the amino and if something shows up abort Hmmm I thought and searched my soul on this and then when the papers from the hospital came to sign releases in case there were a problem from having the test, I realized NOOOO I can't as obviously if I had to sign for this test there were risks to my baby. So I decided NOT to have it, as for me too, it didn't matter either way I was gonna have my little boy ;D K, turns out Chris did have DS and we found out just a few after he was born and although Colin's thoughts prior to the baby being born were abort if there were a problem OMG once the baby was born and he held him, it was instant LOVE. Those two bonded right then I swear. Funny part is I had problems bonding, I was scared, sad, just full of emotions. Although Chris was born with heart problems also, truly there was nothing I could have done prior to his birth sooo for me it was a blessing not to know till his birth. I personally would have been a wreck the whole time I was pregnant and who knows if I had listened to Colin and not followed my heart, my Sweet Little Character would not be here today

I watch my boy and his Dad and it just touches me soooooo, I truly have never seen such pure love and to think what may not have been

BUT with all that said, I truly believe only you will know what to do and BEST of LUCK with what ever you decide

K, guess that wasn't to much of the "Shorter" version, LOLOL BUT if you knew me it really was short, LOL

CC ~

[momofrussell]

I think you answered your own question sentences before you asked it

I had an amnio with Russell. I did not have one on his little sis. I needed to know with Russell and yes, I guess since you asked, it was worth the risk but I knew, like you, that either way, we were going to have this baby.... termination was not for us. But for some reason, I wanted the amnio. I was going into territory I hadn't been in before, so, I wanted closure so I could enjoy my pregnancy. I'm a gotta know and move on kinda gal. When I had my 3rd child though, I did not have the amnio. But that is because I already knew what DS was and what it all was about.

You sound very confident and know where you've been and where you are going, so to speak. I agree, only YOU and your husband can make a decision like having an amnio. But... like our ped said.. if it's REALLY not going to change ANY decision... don't risk it.

We are here for you regardless.... !!!! That is what we are here for!!!

Got any names picked out??? heehee ;D

A.

[Jessie]

As a fellow prego I know what you are going through . . . to some extent. We haven't been given any of the kind of results that you have. My Perinatologist made an amnio sound like a walk in the park and the risks are extremely low. He said that many people are unnecessarily concerned about the risks involved with this test nowadays. Those are his words, not mine. However, although I am in the high risk category (only because I am past the magic age of 35), he agreed that my risk of having any problems is still less than the risk involved with an amnio, so he agreed with our decision to not have an amnio. Since it wouldn't change out minds about having the baby, Brian especially is adament about NOT getting any of that testing done. So . . . I guess like everyone else has said, it's a personal decision and it does sound like you already know the answer for you.

Good luck and keep us posted on how you are doing.

Jessie

[Jodi]

I too had the amnio at about 20 weeks. I was about 22 weeks when I got the results. I felt like I had to know and I couldn't wait. When I did get confirmation, I cried about the whole thing. I was willing to accept whatever news, but I was still sad when I found out. I was nervous that I couldn't handle it. I was sad for Ryan and what he might miss out on.

I soon started looking into everything that had to do with ds. I wanted to offer everything I could to Ryan once he arrived. And we he did arrive, there was much celebrating!!!

Having a child with a disability does amazing things for you. All milestones are cherished. I see the world through different eyes because of Ryan. My focus has changed, and I appreciate simple things like I never had before.

And - I could handle it!

Congratulations to you!!

Jodi

[Chris]

First, congratulations on your little one! I was 43 when Sarah was born and I did choose to have an amnio. Since I was at such an advanced maternal age, my ob insisted we have a consultation with a geneticist. The geneticist did an ultrasound and we found that Sarah had a thickened nuchal fold. The geneticist said she had a 20% chance of having Ds. The geneticist wanted me to have an amnio immediately. At first, I refused an amnio because we were not aborting our daughter and I was concerned about the risks of an amnio. As soon as I left her office, I had an overwhelming feeling that I needed to have an amnio. I called back and was scheduled for an amnio the next week.

I was told that this particular doctor had a 1:300 to 1:400 complications when she performed an amnio. I was terrified but just had to know. I felt it was more dangerous to go through my preganacy feeling stress from not knowing for sure than the risks associated with an amnio. The amnio was not painful!!!

We did find that Sarah had Ds and a week later had a fetal echocardiogram and found she had an AV canal (heart defect). It was a lot of information to digest and accept. I changed doctors and hospitals so that I could deliver in a hospital that was equipped to take care of a baby with possible major health problems.

I am not good at surprises and felt it was a blessing to know in advance. I would not have an amnio if not knowing does not cause a lot of stress. I can only speak for myself, but I wouldn't be able to sleep without knowing.

Keep us updated.

Chris

[logansmom]

For starters -- CONGRATULATIONS! I agree that the decision about having an amnio is a very personal one. For us, my husband and I decided against it. We had our first child, Logan, when I was 41. At that time, we declined all prenatal testing (my cousin lost a healthy child as a result of an amnio). They suspected that Logan had DS immediately after his birth, and it was confirmed within 2 days.

I'm now 44 years old and 20 weeks pregnant with our second child. Although the doctor did ask if we were interested in any prenatal testing, we told him no. He explained that if a couple doesn't wish to terminate a pregnancy due to the result of an amnio, he prefers not to do an amnio because of the risks. Last year, one of his patients lost a healthy child as a result of an amnio. He also explained that all of the other tests are not conclusive . . . they only lead up to the decision of whether or not to have an amnio. And so . . . we won't know anything definite about this little one until he or she is born. Right now, we're just enjoying the pregnancy, looking forward to Thursday's ultrasound, and enjoying the fact that the first trimester "sickies" are over!

It's great that you found this board. Everyone is so supportive and willing to answer any possible questions. We're looking forward to hearing more about you, your family, and your baby girl!

Kim, Logan (26 months), and baby (due Oct. 2)

[donnita]

Welcome to UnoMas!

[kellyds]

Even at the age of 45, I did not have an amniocentesis. We knew we would never terminate a pregnancy. We have six living children BUT I've also had seven miscarriages. A miscarriage is bad enough without thinking that something you did might have caused it. I'd rather have a baby with DS than a miscarriage any day.

An amniocentesis isn't 100% at detecting Down syndrome anyway. And there are lots of conditions it CAN'T find. So an amniocentesis doesn't guarantee a perfect baby.

We don't use birth control, so it COULD happen that I'd get pregnant again, even at my age. Although I imagine I have a VERY high chance of having another one with DS, we won't do anything differently.

[YoshsMom]

Like everyone else, I don't think there is a right or wrong answer to this. You have to do waht feels right for you. Even though termination was not an option for us either, Dh and I were glad we had the amnio for several reasons. First, we were able to pick a hospital well know for neonatal emergency care. We also had time to grieve fot the baby we had imagined. By the time Yosh was born we had both dealt with most of our doubts and fears. My ob/gyn was a perinatologist and I trusted his skill in doing the test. And I was more afraid of miscarriage before the amnio. So many people kept saying that 25% of babies with ds don't make it to full term (not true). Once we knew for sure, I just had this feeling that G-d meant us to have this baby. Even during his long stay in NICU, I knew he would eventually be all right and come home to us.

Whatever your decision, I hope everything goes well.

Oops, forgot to say congratulations

[Kristen]

Congrats to you!

Statistically, it's one in 200ish. There isn't much else to say. As a mother, I had a negative level 2 u/s and triple screen and well, someon has to be the 1 in a million, might as well be me Just don't burden yourself with all the books and stuff. I did in the beginning and I wound up being freaked out about what COULD happen so much I didn't enjoy what was as much as I could have - my healthy, happy baby! For example, they made freaking SKIN CARE sound like an hour long ordeal. NOT TRUE! I am the eczema queen and C is without a blemish. Everyone is still an individual despite possibilities and probabilities. None of that stuff has even happened to my guy health wise and now I know it can happen, but I do not worry. It will or won't and we'll take care of it what it does.

I denied an amnio with #2 because well, after what I went through I believed nothing until I saw her and only 15 months later was at the point where I didn't care. I cared for her, but not like oh no, what if she has it? By then I viewed what we expereinced and the gift of Carter as a gift with NO STRINGS ATTATCHED which is exactly what a baby is no matter if they have 46 or 47 chromosomes.

While I understand your fear and apprehension - believe me, anyone will tell you what a wigged out mom I was! Though I hope we don't see you for very long please know that in the end it does all work out and if you end up here hanging around with us there are worse places to vent your frustrations!

[MatureMomG]

I didn't have one (didn't have an ultrasound either). And our dd having DS was a surprise, but that's okay.

I know many moms who choose NOT to do the amnio because of the risk and because it would not change anything.

Yours in Christ,
Kathy

[hannahph]

hi Elizabeth, Congrats!!! We did not know our daughter had DS(I was 27, triple screen was negative so no reason to suspect DS) When she was born we were totally unprepared and so were the Doctors. we almost lost her at the delivery due to her heart defect. When I was pregnant for my son four years later we chose not to have amnio due to the risks. We did have a level 2 ultrasound and I requested a fetal echocardiogram just to make sure there wre no suprises there. As it turns out my son was perfectly healthy. What I am getting at is make sure if you do not choose amnio, that your Dr. and hospital are equiped to handle a newborn with some health issues. Chances are everything will go great but you need to be prepared in case you little one needs a little extra help at the birth. Your going to love this little one like crazy and wonder how you ever lived with out her. I thank god everyday for my daughter DS or not. I would not change a thing. -Heather