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Post by Debbie on May 15, 2005 23:24:28 GMT -5
I went to my boy-friend's Dad and step-mother house today. They invited us over for lunch after church. It was a nice affair and I really enjoyed eating with them. Steve's mother died years ago of lung cancer. His father remarried not too many years ago. His step-mother's name is Merry Nell. She was talking about a lady we both knew who had a son with Down syndrome. His name was Tony. We got to talking until she had used the M word, Mongloid. I'm sorry if I didn't spelled that correctly. I told her I had Mosaic Down syndrome. I should have said that the word Mongloid was not the word society used now but how could I really do that? People still use the word that is why. I was calm about the whole thing and was not upset about it. Yes she was surprised but I handled it calmly. I didn't like it but I was not as upset as I would have been in the past. I am always surprised that the word is still being used these days. kay (I am Debbie. I had to re-register) The Down syndrome is second my identity is first!
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Post by laurasnowbird on May 16, 2005 4:22:11 GMT -5
Debbie,
I cannot believe the ignorance of some people! Good for you for handling it calmly. As the parent of a child with DS that word is very hurtful, but I cannot imagine how it must feel to you. Shame on that woman!
By the way, I understand why you had to pick another name, but I'm just curious....is Kay your middle name, or just a name that you really like?
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Post by Emilysmom on May 16, 2005 4:46:07 GMT -5
Debbie~ I'm sorry you had to experience this. If it had been Steve's GRANDmother, it might make more sense! I didn't think people had used that term in many many years!! But apparently we'll just have to keep on educating the public about that term and so many other things too. Susan
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Post by ALLISA on May 16, 2005 7:07:57 GMT -5
Wow, Debbie You sound as though you handled it very well. It is hard to remain composed when you are faced with something like that. THen I usually think of ALL the answers/responses I SHOULD have given later on when it is too late ! I also agree with Susan that you'd expect it from a grandmother.....someone MUCH older.....but not in this recent generations !
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Post by donnita on May 16, 2005 7:13:22 GMT -5
I think you handled it very well, especially since you remained calm. I always think of better things to say AFTER something happens. Even my 90 year old grandmother has never said that word.
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Post by momofrussell on May 16, 2005 7:37:46 GMT -5
Glad you handled it calmly! Wouldn't have done much good to get upset.... The only time I hear that word is from dear, sweet little old ladies My mom is 65 and that is how she learned it too back then. Evolution is grand isn't it! a.
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Post by steffipoo on May 16, 2005 9:15:29 GMT -5
DEBBIE!!!! Steff here... I am sooo sorry that happened to you. I hate that word too and the ob/gyn who came in after the resident nice doctor delivered Liv told me the next day heTOO had a mongoloid child. I just about fell over. I was far too overwhelmed to say anything to him but it has stuck in my mind forever. This was the year 1997 in the heart of Los Angeles which is suppoised to be a hip town... Dare I say that? ? No matter where you go someone somewhere will have a hurtful or ignorant thing to say. I ahve decided to teach Olivia to stand up for herself and thats as far as I can go with it.And you know what?? She does a bang up job sticking up for herself so I think we are getting better. But still I wish people would think first before they opened up their mouths. I try to and wish everyone else would.. (((HUGS)))) Steff and NO IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS!!!!!
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Post by Chris on May 16, 2005 10:30:33 GMT -5
I had a similar situation happen to me a couple of weeks ago. We had a visiting pastor preach and he was relating a story about a family with 11 children. He said one of the children was a Mongoloid. I nearly jumped out of my skin. I understand that most people who use that term don't understand that it is offensive. After church, I took Sarah to the pastor and said, this is my daughter, Sarah. She is a child of God and she happens to have Down syndrome. She is not a Mongoloid. The poor man was so embarassed and said I am so sorry. I should have said a down syndrome child. Then I had to correct him again and said, no..........they are a child first and they have Down syndrome. Anyway, I tried to be very nice to him. I just used the moment as a time to educate him. I bet he never uses the term Mongoloid again!!!
Chris
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Post by Kristen on May 16, 2005 13:31:03 GMT -5
Mongoloid? Oh come on! I would laugh if I thought it was a joke, but unfortunately I know it is true. Whatever. I guess some people do to the "disco" but that went out in the 70's too. I am just sorry as a mother you had to hear that. None of us ever want our kids exposed to the ignorance that is out there and I am sad when it happens. You are a much better lady than I becasue I might have had to have a little discussion with her
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Post by Debbie on May 16, 2005 20:21:58 GMT -5
laurasnowbird,
Kay is my middle name. I had a heck of a time thinking up another password!
Steve's step-mother is probably in her late sixties or seventies some where. She is also very opinionated and strong minded.
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Post by rickismom on May 17, 2005 14:04:49 GMT -5
Gee, Chris, I had a laugh at your post (imagining how he must have looked as you spoke to him). One Rabbi here used the term, but not in an offensive way (he thought that was the term, but his outlook was actually very positive.) Next time he spoke about this in public, he had already corrected himself.
Debbie, I really give you kudos for keeping your cool! I think that you will only gain from it. If she's older, as you said, she probably just doesn't know...
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