Hey, ask away! That's why I'm here.
I'm only 3 years older than Paul, so my memory about his childhood years is probably not accurate in terms of what ages he did certain things, but I'd still like to give you a little "ages and stages"-type breakdown.
But first-- sibling relationships. We also have a younger sister, Lisa (now 23). Lisa and I had typical sibling fights throughout our youth, but both of us were totally in love with and protective of Paul. I don't ever remember feeling any kind of shame or burden or anything negative. He's always been my favorite person in the world, and I know he made me a better person. I've learned so much from him about how to see the good in everybody.
Okay, onto ages.
He used to crawl on his butt, crab-walking style. Didn't have great balance, couldn't sit on his own, etc. Went though lots of physical therapy, and once he started walking, he was unstoppable.
Paul was non-verbal for a little longer than usual. He learned some basic sign language so he could communicate simple needs. All I remember now is "drink" and "cookie," though I'm sure there were more signs than that!
He had to work hard to overcome the tongue-thrusting. Speech therapy was an ongoing challenge. When I look back on our old home movies now, I'm shocked: I can't understand a word of what Paul was saying before he was about 8 years old, but in the videos, I'm answering him with no problem. So I did understand him at the time! Not many people outside our immediate family did, though. We must have really tuned in to his manner of speaking at the time.
His speech improved SIGNIFICANTLY around age 11 if I remember correctly. I don't know what made the difference-- lots of speech therapy, I guess. He still stutters now (in fact, the stuttering has gotten a bit worse in recent years), but he's completely understandable to the general public. He orders for himself at restaurants, has no problem starting conversations with strangers, etc. He has an excellent vocabulary, to the point of surprising us all the time with the "big words" he knows how to use.
He still has a few funny syntax errors that we can't seem to break him of, but again, it doesn't hinder communication in any way. I'm drawing a blank on examples right now, but I'll come back to it when I think of some!
Like Debbie mentioned somewhere, Paul has some repetitive behaviors that have come and gone through the years. Twirling things was a big one... he used to have a line-up of straws on his floor, and he would pick each one up and twirl them between his fingers over and over while making a "mmmmm" grunting sound. Then it morphed into twirling markers. I don't see him doing any of that anymore, but now he does some "skin picking." He scratches/picks at his thumb, for some reason, and has had a big lump on his thumb for at least 3 years. We can't seem to get him to stop it.
Paul was a chubby kid-- not fat, but chubby-- until after puberty when he decided he wanted to impress girls.
Now he watches what he eats and exercises and lifts weights, and he has a great bod.
That was also around the time he made leaps and bounds developmentally all-around. He was in a special school only during his very early years... I think he switched into a public elementary school in the 2nd grade. Special ed class, but a regular school. Around 13 years old, he just seemed to make huge steps forward intellectually. He became a real reader, his reasoning skills went way up, and his vocabulary improved. Every year since then, he's come further and further. Something just seemed to "click" that year, and he made more progress than any of us thought possible.
Paul has been playing the piano for about 12 years. He reads music and takes weekly lessons at home. That's another thing that took a while to "click," but now he can play most anything. His rhythm's not perfect and he takes pauses in the songs while he figures out his fingering sometimes, but he makes few mistakes and is always the hit of the annual Christmas concert!
Affection was one of the problems (!) in his childhood. I remember that my parents got called in to the principal's office because Paul was hugging and kissing everybody around the 2nd or 3rd grade. I wanted to tell them that the problem wasn't Paul... that everyone else should be more like him instead! But it did make the other kids (and bus driver, and teachers, and cafeteria workers) uncomfortable. He stopped this (so sad to have to tell a kid to stop being affectionate), but to this day, has some trouble knowing where to draw the line. He likes to give shoulder rubs to people, and he writes "love notes" to camp counselors and old teachers sometimes... we have to catch him and read them before he's allowed to give them to anyone. So mostly now, he just writes them and collects them in a big pile under his bed-- he doesn't actually give them to anyone if there's any hint of "flirting" in them.
Regarding teasing, I have to say he was extremely lucky. There never was much. He heard the word "retard" a few times here and there, and finally asked me what it meant, but on the whole, the other kids were great with him. The whole wrestling team from his high school came to see him in the Special Olympics because he had gone to all their practices and games. They called him their "assistant coach."
He began working when he was about 16. Through a school program, he volunteered at a hospital 3 days a week, in the dining services and the linens departments. Summers, he worked at Jones beach in the concession stand, where he was nicknamed "The Mayor" because he knew
everybody. People would walk in all the time just to come see him.
We had hoped the hospital would hire him after he graduated, but they never made the commitment, so during his last year of high school, he started volunteering at the nursing home (dining services).
They hired him, using a government program where the government paid half the salary and the nursing home paid the other half. When that program looked like it was in jeopardy, not only did the nursing home take him out of it and hire him on without it, but they gave him a raise. He loves it there, and is an excellent worker who usually has to be forced to take a break. He's done everything from cleaning the dining room to delivering trays, taking phone orders, stocking silverware, etc.
Paul LOVES music and dancing and will be on the dance floor all night at any wedding, party, etc. He will ask every woman in the room to dance with him. He's a good dancer and a tone-deaf singer.
We're both hooked on American Idol, so we either watch it together or trade phone notes after every show. (Only problem is that he wants to vote for everybody.)
That's one of the fun parts of Paul... you can't get him to choose favorites in any area. You ask him what his favorite movie is, and he'll tell you every movie is his favorite. Ask him what music he likes, he likes it all. Every time he goes to see a play with his social group, I know darn well that when I ask him how it was, he's going to tell me, "Excellent! It did blow me away!" (Oh yeah-- that's one of the syntax things. He doesn't say, "It blew me away." He always says, "It did blow me away." I knew I'd remember one!)
He's been lucky never to have any health problems.
He has some insight that there's something different about him, but it doesn't bother him in the least. His concept of what Down syndrome is is rudimentary. He still can't reliably point to who has Downs and who doesn't... for example, he asked me if Scott from American Idol had Downs. He always asks me if Asian people have Downs. The characteristic he's using, obviously, is the "slanty" eyes, which he calls "elbow macaroni eyes."
The only area where it hurts him in any way is dating. He rarely gets crushes on people who are "on his level." It's always teachers, counselors, etc., and it's hard for him to deal with that sometimes. I used to be able to tell him that he was too young for these women, but that doesn't work anymore. He doesn't ever try to kiss anyone or push the line into "bad" territory, but he loves to flirt and write those love notes! Most days it's all fun and he doesn't mind too much that they don't have the same feelings for him... just the fact that they pay attention to him and tell him he's cute is enough for him. But every now and then it gets him down.
Okay, I'm writing a book here, so I'm going to stop for now! Please feel free to ask me anything you like. I'll be back soon.