|
angst
Jul 6, 2004 19:23:50 GMT -5
Post by Jackie on Jul 6, 2004 19:23:50 GMT -5
Just reading Susans post about the trauma of leaving Emily at camp....Another Emily (mine) even as I type this is learning to navigate another airport...Houston Hobby...flying to meet Katie in Austin. This time Norine and Katie left me totally out of this equation...I have no idea which flight she is on...(just accidentally found out the approx time cuz Katie forgot and left part of an email to norine attached to one of mine...LOL)....dont know if anyone is helping her find the gate or just saying goodbye at security (thats my guess)....she is also going to be pretty much on her own returning cuz Norine wont be the one meeting her in Houston either. I guess this is sort of "One big Step for Mankind"...and one big round of heartburn for ME!!!! Anyhow, after babysitting for a few days for Katie they will drive up here on Friday for a few days of hugs before returning. Meanwhile I am enjoying having 9 yr old Jordan for his first ever trip away from home and parents. We have decided this will be "Spoiled Rotten" week...LOL....whatever he wants...............
Jackie
|
|
|
angst
Jul 6, 2004 19:30:27 GMT -5
Post by shellk on Jul 6, 2004 19:30:27 GMT -5
;DJackie, Break out the maloxx.....Hope EMily does well and hope you enjoy having your girl or should I say young women home for a little bit...I have noever met your Emily but am so proud of her.. Hope navigating the airports works out
Michele
|
|
|
angst
Jul 6, 2004 22:06:12 GMT -5
Post by TriciaF on Jul 6, 2004 22:06:12 GMT -5
Jackie ;D , You're my hero! I know Emily will breeze through....she's had the best teacher around. And if bumps come her way, she's always got that trusty cell phone right? Tell her hello from me and guess what...I finally got the pictures back from Vegas....I know....slowwwwww. Anyways, I got some really good ones at the wax museum and I will try to e-mail them to you shortly so you'll have them when Em gets home. I'll let you upload them to unomas if you like....I still haven't tried to load to the new photo album. Missing all you guys...life has been in high gear. My dad just got out of the nursing home this week from rehab on his broken hip. Have a great time spoiling that grand!
|
|
|
angst
Jul 7, 2004 8:22:23 GMT -5
Post by Jackie on Jul 7, 2004 8:22:23 GMT -5
whewwwwwwwww...the Eagle has landed...and she did fine! Gotta call from her in the car with my son in law who picked her up in Austin. She was waiting for him with the right bag and all! Apparently Brandon the NASA intern who is staying with Norine and hubby this summer also...took Em to the airport and left her at security. Guess they had printed her boarding pass at home cuz she was in A group. She navigated security fine and found her gate and got on at the right time...said the plane was full so she was glad to have a good boarding pass so she could get a window seat. She was sooooo talkative on the cell phone and Katie said the same thing about her when she got home and they all went on a walk. Katie said her wt loss over the past five weeks is quite noticeable....I just hope she doesnt put it all back on the week she is home with us! I am so excited to see her...but that will have to wait until Friday. I went to bed all aglow last night thinking about my "baby" who had just navigated a strange airport alone and gotten to where she was supposed to be. Tricia...she still talks about the wax museum....and wanted us all to go last month when we were back in Vegas. Katie sent us some pics of her last night and she was wearing her Elton Rocks Vegas tee shirt. Jackie
|
|
|
angst
Jul 7, 2004 8:30:44 GMT -5
Post by Debi on Jul 7, 2004 8:30:44 GMT -5
Congratulations Emily for navigating ;D and Congrats to you Jackie for doing what is often even harder: waiting through it all!! ;D We all need a break and a challenge sounds like Emily is handling HERS very well!!
|
|
|
angst
Jul 7, 2004 15:53:29 GMT -5
Post by rickismom on Jul 7, 2004 15:53:29 GMT -5
Congradulations Jackie for really letting this be. I know how hard it is... and how neccessary!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D
|
|
|
angst
Jul 7, 2004 19:46:45 GMT -5
Post by PaigesMom on Jul 7, 2004 19:46:45 GMT -5
Jackie,
I AM so proud of Emily, I can hardly imagine how you must be beaming!!!
She's an inspiration to me and I can only hope my daughter will be just as independent in life and make such accomplishments as Emily has.
Thanks for sharing!!
Debbie
|
|
|
angst
Jul 8, 2004 8:44:42 GMT -5
Post by Jackie on Jul 8, 2004 8:44:42 GMT -5
Yes...Em gets a lot of the credit...but we had to be the ones to deal with the "risk" that it takes for this to occur. I dont mean "risk" in the traditional sense either ...like jumping motorbikes across the Grand Canyon. I mean emotional "risk". I once saw a video years ago produced in Oregon called "The Dignity of Risk" about inclusion (only so old it was 'mainstreaming'). It spelled out all this for me...and dignity of risk stuck in my mind from then on......Susan now is a perfect example of how we must begin at some point in time to LET GO. For several years she has been letting HER Emily go to camps. I remember the first year...and poor Susan was beside herself...but now she has done a super job of sending Em off...and separating...even sending her this year to a brand new camp! Our kids cannot learn to function without us pulling their strings if we dont give them the chance. We all have learned by making mistakes...falling down...and having to pick ourselves up....and kids with DS are no different. If you look at many of the scenarios in SPED classes...you see older kids being treated like preschoolers....compromising both their dignity and abilty to learn and try their own wings. It's easy to want to smooth out all the bumps in the road for them...cuz then our road is smooth too...and thats a nice thought as parents. If I could tell you all the nights my stomach has boiled....and my dreams have been anxious....you probably wouldnt believe it.....LOL (yes you would ) But I firmly believe that this is what has helped Emily deal with all the changes and challenges in her full life. If you met her...you would just think she was a nice person...not a superstar....she is living life almost as if she had no disability.....but she still has many mountains to climb. Jackie
|
|
|
angst
Jul 9, 2004 16:37:36 GMT -5
Post by steffipoo on Jul 9, 2004 16:37:36 GMT -5
JACKIE!!! HI Congrats to YOU for TAKING THE RISK!!! Man I agree its the PARENTS who must RISK letting their kids get hurt feelings lost etc for them to RISK BEING INDEPENDENT!!! LOL and Emily has done that more than a million times in her life thanks to her risk-taking mom.
|
|
|
angst
Jul 9, 2004 19:08:39 GMT -5
Post by updowns on Jul 9, 2004 19:08:39 GMT -5
Jackie, I think what Emily has achieved and is achieving is wonderful and I, in no way, wish to detract from that BUT, I take offense to
"If you look at many of the scenarios in SPED classes...you see older kids being treated like preschoolers....compromising both their dignity and abilty to learn and try their own wings. It's easy to want to smooth out all the bumps in the road for them...cuz then our road is smooth too...and thats a nice thought as parents."
I am usually pretty non-confrontational and I have no wish to get into a row or "slanging match" but I have to reply.
Sarah is NOT included in mainstream education, she attends a "Special" school and I can assure you that she is NOT treated as a preschooler, her dignity is NOT compromised (quite the opposite in fact) and "trying out her own wings" is NOT impeded, nor is her ability to learn.
I DID NOT choose special ed. to make things easier for her (and for me too as you have implied). I chose special ed. as it was the best choice for Sarah, gave her the most opportunity, the most DIGNITY, the most confidence and self-esteem. In an ideal world, yes, Sarah would attend the same school as her brothers but guess what - we don't live in an ideal world and if I had sent Sarah to the same school as her brothers the first thing to go would be her confidence (and I have yet to meet ANYONE as confident as my 12 year old daughter), her self-esteem and thereby her ability to learn, her happiness (and what is more important than that?).
I chose special ed. for SARAH, NOT FOR ME, FOR SARAH, and not to "smooth" her path as you suggest but to give her the best start and preparation for life.
Stella
|
|
|
angst
Jul 9, 2004 19:15:24 GMT -5
Post by christie on Jul 9, 2004 19:15:24 GMT -5
I think I have told you before, when you have posted bout Emily flying alone, BUT incase I haven't Hats off to Emily, I don't mind flying BUT I don't like doing it alone
With all due respect, you said "If you look at many of the scenarios in SPED classes...you see older kids being treated like preschoolers....compromising both their dignity and abilty to learn and try their own wings." I am sure that may happen in some SPED classes as also can happen in the public inclusive programs. I will tell you from OUR first hand experiecne that was happening to my guy while being included in the public school Chris when moved to a private school just for kids with exceptional needs was when he was finally being treated age appropriate and the excues of DS was noo longer used. Just the opposite I must say, they expect and know he can ;D ;D
I just wanted to share that, cause NOT all SPED schools and classes are a bad thing. As, always its finding the RIGHT program not just one cause it is Inclusion or Self Contained.
Just my thoughts on this...
CC
|
|
|
angst
Jul 10, 2004 2:02:44 GMT -5
Post by steffipoo on Jul 10, 2004 2:02:44 GMT -5
;D Hey Stella the " storyteller" LOL!!!! How are you and Sarah??? Well let me be the first to say or second to none other than CC LOL that any enviroment that supports our kids to be all that they can be whether mainstream inclusion sp ed day class etc etc etc is the right choice for our kids. I am sure Jackie did NOT mean to make ya feel bad at all. Livs sp ed teacher is spectacular and I chose for her next year to be in her class in the morn for reading math etc and in the afternoon with her first grade counterparts. BUT this is because Liv has a SPECTACULAR sp ed teacher who understands Liv me and everything about all of us. Those type people are rare. Our sp ed teacher is all about collaboration etc and including her in everything and anything that Liv is CAPABLE of. We do NOT set her up for failure in inclusion which thankfully Liv has the personality and the back up at our home public school to be setup for success. CONFIDENCE is key whatever makes your child happy and confident is the most imp right whether you choose any option. SO HUGS to you Stella the Storyteller whatever is right for your child is right period.
|
|
|
angst
Jul 10, 2004 2:11:36 GMT -5
Post by steffipoo on Jul 10, 2004 2:11:36 GMT -5
Jackie steff here.... I guess this catholic school guilt has me here typing to you.Whatever you did with Emily you did an amazing job . I remember cringing when hearing she got in the car with Elvis and drove around town thinking OMG is this okay???LMAO the mom in me. There are so many amazing sp ed teachers now. Some really crappy ones but man Livs is more demanding on Liv than any reg ed teacher and hold Liv more accountable than ANY reg ed teacher who tend to make more excuses for her. NOW thats not all reg ed just some just like some sp ed. SO I guess I am trying to say there are sooo many cool options out there for us thanks to you and many other parents with older kids. INCLUSION will not go away even if there are great sp ed programs out there. BUT man I wish you could meet Livs sp ed teacher you would dig her soo much and the work you have done is NOT fruitless there are just so many more options out there now. I LOVE YA JACKIE!!! HUGS STEFF
|
|
|
angst
Jul 10, 2004 8:20:39 GMT -5
Post by Jackie on Jul 10, 2004 8:20:39 GMT -5
I have never said SPED is something to avoid...I just have said in OUR LIFE it was not a viable option. I have also said in our particular district that Emilys inclusion the way it was practiced at the time was also not the best option....but better than what was offered thru SPED. Inclusion has a long way to go, as I think many of you have attested to. I wont go into a long detailed description of the high school SPED situation in Emily's case....but I will tell you...they were almost totally segregated.....in a special phys ed program with just each other (now many of the kids were sooooo physicially able that they played on SO unified teams)...they ate at round tables in the school cafeteria (not allowed to leave campus like the rest of the school) back in an area reserved for teachers ...and 30 minutes before the rest of the school had lunch hours. They bowled and went out to lunch every Friday...(Emily bowled on a Saturday team so didnt miss that)..meaning a lost day totally.....and three days a week most of the kids had a Community Based Training Class where they were picked up immediately after lunch by a school bus that also went to the other high schools and picked up their sped students...then they went to a job site where they spent about an hour...and then got back on the bus and delivered everyone back to respective schools for the rest of the afternoon...(good concepts but more time spent on the bus than the job site). They took a life skills class that was often just crafts for two hours....twice a week....I remember going in and seeing Kenny and Elvis sewing pink butterfiles on a piece of fabric and not very excited about doing it! On another occasion I was in that classroom right before dismissal time and the aide was calling all the students names to go put a..........SMILEY FACE sticker on the bulletin board on the picture that each student had up there with their name on it (pic of the school mascot)...and these were young adults ...most of them..several who were driving themselves to school. They also were dismissed 15 minutes before the rest of the school and since most rode a SPED bus...never came into social contact with their non disabled peers. I am sorry...but it WAS degrading...and not something I wanted Emily to experience.
I realize that many of you might have better situations...I am hearing of more and more GOOD SPED teachers than bad ones...but for our particular situation...I think I made the best choice. And here there WERE parents who were choosing this for the easy way out. When I tried to get people together to talk about better programs for our kids...there were generally no takers...often saying...well...its almost over...only 3 years to go....etc...etc.....
I am trying very hard now with our newer parents to look at ALL the options...get themselves educated...network with people who have affected change in their kids lives so that perhaps they will have more choices...and better options than we felt we had.
I never intended for anyone to feel defensive about what they are doing with their child....I think on this site we are all following our hearts and doing what we think is in their best interest just as I did.
Jackie mom to Emily 24 who is home at the moment and asleep in her own bed.
|
|
|
angst
Jul 10, 2004 9:53:27 GMT -5
Post by Ericsmomma on Jul 10, 2004 9:53:27 GMT -5
Jackie,
So glad Emily's home....enjoy your time together!! Sounds like she did VERY well coming home...its wonderful when I hear how independent our children can be...IF we let them. I know I'll have a hard time with that. So the re-inforcement stories are good for me to hear. Just wanted to comment on the schooling issue...I totally agree that each child (and program) are different. I wish I could say our district is wonderful with inclusion, but sadly, it isn't. And contained classrooms HERE are not the best option for Eric either. He's only four, but I have been exploring options, that way I can make the best decision possible when starting school. His early intervention class is great...6 "typical" kids, and 6 kids with special needs. His teacher's are wonderful...I wish I could just keep this little group together (teacher's included) for the next twelve years!! But I know thats not possible. Alot of the schools in our area have gone to " Open Enrollment" (meaning you don't have to live within the school district to attend ), so I have some more options. Hopefully, things in special education will get better with time....education about our kids is the key...but you have to have administrators who listen and understand, and who don't see children as "$$$$" I had a horrible experience with contained classes for my oldest son, Matthew. He was Included until 9th grade (He did very well, especially socially). Then in high school they told me it was better for him to be in DH, a contained class for developmentally handicap (Matt had a severe learning disablity). I blindly agreed, thinking they knew what was best. BOy, was I wrong. They hardly did any teaching...to busy keeping the behavioral problem teens under control, etc. Matt was one of the kids that functioned very well, so they would send him on errands all the time...to the office, to other teachers...even out to get the teachers ice cream (Matt drove his own car). What a waste of 4 years. He only went out for subjects like gym, history, social studies. thank God for that, because this was his only repreve from the chaos in his contained class. But this was my experience...hopefully, SOMEWHERE special ed is on the right track...not perfect, but at least making progress. I guess we parents need to arm ourselves with information, information, information, when we make OUR decisions.... Dolly
Dolly
|
|