Why can't they just listen !!

[shellk]

Kourtney started Kindergarten on Tuesday of this week and she is going to a new school , her old school didn't have a VE Kindergarten class....
Needless to say that is all good..The thing is on Monday Kourtney and I go to this new school for an orientatioin and meet the teacher..Well, like any other parent I answered all the ??'s that she had for me about Kourtney (LuLu my nick name for her) I explained to her that Lulu is a wanderer and the she is an escape artist and that she has Impulse Control Issues and the she is having an Eval in Sept with a child pysciatrist....Well, this teacher looks at me and says "Honey I have been a teacher for 16 years and her only problem is that you baby her and she can't communicate very well." HELLO !!! I let that slide and asked her how long she has been working with ESE and VSE and VE kids and she said that she hasn't been in this setting for about 5 years. She felt it was time to get back into it to "FRESHEN UP " her skills...I was as pleasant as a peach with her, not wanting to get off no the wrong foot and all..
Tuesday...Progress report for the day was that Kourtney had a great first day and followed directions but not all of the day.. And she was over all good for the day
Wednesday....We are working with Kourtney on her wandering

Thursday....Kourtney looked tired today and she hurt several children ..
There were no point deucted for bad behavior and so I responded with wanting to know exactly what went on at school yesterday..
Friday.....Kourtney need to learn to control her impulses and keep her hands to herself and not scream when she doesn't get her way..

I called th school today after school and had a chat with this teacher and informed her that these are all of the same thing that I had already explained to her verbally and in writing and now she is acting like she had no clue. !!!!!!
She made me feel like I had no clue what my child does or why she does it...I agree I don't know why she does some of the things that she does but that is why I made the doctors appointment...
Where do they get off thinking that just because they are teachers that they no EVERYTHING about my kid..I very nicely told her that I am sure that she is very book smart and know what she is doing but when a PARENT someone who lives with the child and is raising them tries to give you a heads up, on the child it is better to listen and heed the warning instead of talking to me like I have no clue about my child.

What a way to start off a new school year in a new school !!
Sorry I rambled but...anyone else have this problem or felt that way. ?


Michele

[updowns]

Hugs to you Michele, I know just how you are feeling. It is so infuriating and frustrating to be dismissed as a mere parent by so-called professionals. But Hey Kourtney - WTG, that was "one in the eye" for Ms. Know-It-All!!! You shoulda said - DUH, that's what I tried to tell you!

Have to say, as much as Sarah can drive me nuts I just LOVE when she proves me right, LOL.

One instance: Sarah has a problem with her weight - Sarah has a problem with keeping her nose out of the fridge and her butt out of the kitchen. It is my main frustration with her - she will eat constantly and we have to lock the kitchen at night. Well, I had a meeting at the school with the principal, her teacher and the psychiatrist. The doc made me feel so small - I cried when I got home, was just so upset. Felt they thought I just didn't care, let her eat all she liked (which I don't). My best pal was furious and wanted to phone this doc and S P E L L it out for her! Anyway, Doc was to weigh Sarah once a week and had explained v e r y patiently to me what I was doing wrong etc. One week later....................... Doc phones me full of apologies - she had taken Sarah from her class to weigh her (on her one, silly woman, lol) and she got A DOSE OF SARAH! She said "I am so sorry, I must have made it all sound so simple, I had no idea how strong'willed, determined and single minded Sarah is. I was NOT able to handle her "willfulness". I really am VERy sorry" etc. etc. - oh boy, did I enjoy that conversation and I gave Sarah the biggest hug when she got home ;D

Stella

[Robin]

ROFL Stella, WTG Sarah, show those people that having book smarts is not what it is cracked up to be with our kiddos!!!! LOLOL, and a apology to boot, I am impressed!!!
Michele.....sounds like the teacher has no idea how to handle Kourtney and needs some practice I am sure Kourtney will give it to her
LOLOL to all those educators out there who know so much more then we do....until they step into our shoes. Why cant they all be like Jackson's teacher ? Now that lady is a PEACH!
Robin

[momofrussell]

Well, I haven't experienced the same as you just encountered, but I'd probably have to choke back something if somebody said "honey I have been teaching for 16 yrs BLAH BLAH BLAH... " to me. THAT comment right there shows a bit of ignorance. I always go into a new school year with the respect and consideration that teachers on the whole know KIDS better than most of us.. BUT, they do NOT know MY child better than me specifically.... and I CRINGE when a teacher or doctor, for that matter talks to me like I don't know my child and they do better... and they haven't really even MET my child yet... I think they forget WE may have had lives and college and knowledge LONG before we had children and MET these professionals... heck.. you could have been a teacher yourself LMAO. Sounds like you are doing the right thing by making a doc appt to get some help and guidance. I am sure a bit of it may be communication based... but there are TONS of things it also could be.

Also... I might suggest to that teacher to ALWAYS put some positive things on the daily "what your daughter did" sheet, as well as the behavioral stuff. Because it becomes very disheartening to hear ONLY the negative.. and THAT means.. the teacher is ONLY focusing on the negative... she needs to be well rounded that gal! AND... if she is one of those "Honey BLAH BLAH BLAH.." types, and only writes about the bad stuff, she is OOOOOZING that stuff out into her teaching.. and your daughter isn't going to learn much form that.. and maybe THAT is why she has behavioral issues too!

Also, did you speak of these issues in the IEP? Was it put in the IEP how the teacher was to address the issues? Like the wandering? Or is she just going to chase her and not keep the door closed? LOL

I'd maybe also go observe... just to see what is going on... couldn't hurt!

Ok.. sorry to ramble on my soap box about your daughter's needs LOL... I am in a crabby mood today LOL

A.

[rickismom]

Boy oh Boy I could rant and rant on this subject. I've gotten so much flack from "education department people about how I really don't understand, that I am not accepting the reality of my daughter's Mental R, etc. They try SO hard to tell me how wrong I am when I see SO clearly that all I am asking for is standard fare in the USA (I am an American living abroad)... so finally I have started getting a bit more verbal....

"Oh? Can I ask how many journals on DS did you read this month? How many articles have you published on DS in international educational magazines? None? Well, lady, I HAVE, ;D and I have to live with Ricki and her problems daily, so...."

Once my health fund wanted Ricki (when she was age 3) to be in a "group" form of occupational therapy, with 4 other children withDS. I protested, knowing full well that this was just a way to save money.... They said "try it". I did... twice. Ricki spent the time misbehaving and nothing else. I complained bitterly. Their reply: "well, you know that the new thing today is inclusion with other children" And of course this was said with such a professional air. I just said "Excuse me, but "Inclusion" means with normal children that she can learn from." Seeing that I had wrecked his pat PHRASE he graciously signed a permit to outside private therapy on their account. Isn't it rediculous waht they try to fool us with? And of course, we are only parents.....

[DereksMom]

Oh my....Those sound like the same kind of problems that Derek had when he went to Kindergarten last year. I think alot of it had to do with where is was developmentally and his lack of speech and getting frustrated because of it. It is alot to expect Kourtenay to get the classroom routine down in the first week. It is alot to ask of any 5 yr old, let alone one with delays. Derek did as he pleased for the first half of the year, leaving the classroom, doing what he wanted when he wanted until I finally put my foot down and told the TA to stop letting him get away with everything and that once they insisted that he follow the rules it would be much more pleasant for everyone. Low and behold, it didnt take very long before he figured out what he was and wasnt allowed to do and things got better.

Give her time to adjust and make sure that the teaching staff is very consistant with her so she gets to know what is acceptable and what isnt.

Hugs

Allison

[Claire]

Hugs to you. My Adam had a terrible year last year. He started slapping, running away and just plain wanting to do what he wanted. But I was lucky enough to have a teacher and EA who we're willing to work with us on the problem. I do get notes from school every night about his day, although their may be something negative in some of them, a positive thing is always added to the letter. Makes a big difference. This teacher may learn a lot more from your child then she expects. Hang in there.

[adamsmommy]

Michele, I just had to add my 2 cents here. I have been teaching for the past 13 years, and would never, never speak to a parent the way that woman spoke to you on your first meeting. I could not imagine telling a parent that their child's only problem is that they baby him or her too much, and I would never address a parent as "Honey". I am shocked that she had the nerve to speak to you that way!

If I were you, I would have the teacher rethink the value of the daily "progress reports". They seem so very negative, and not at all productive. By saying that Kourtney needs to "learn to control her impusles" does absolutely nothing. Why isn't she instead communicating a plan to you to help her with her impuse control? I can't believe all the negative comments, especially in a child's first week of kindergarten!

If you can, I would set up a meeting with the teacher, the principal, and the school's learning resource teacher, to put in place some sort of IEP, in order to stop any major problems from happening. Good luck.

Anjie
Mom to Adam, 2

[shellk]

The last 2 days have been good ones at school for Kourtney..Her teacher and I had a talk and she has lightened up on her comments I simply explained to her that the positive things are just as important to me as the negative and tht for the first week of school some much negativeness made a sour note with me...
So, we are meeting Thursday to go over her IEP and chat about things that she would like to know more about Kourtney.
Nice how things work themselves out...Not to mention taking a little advice from all who responded and using it !!!!
Thanks

Michele

[YoshsMom]

Don't you just hate it? I've been teaching special ed for 15 yrs and they do it to me, too. Any time I suggest that their methods might not be right for Yosh they act like I don't want to "make my poor baby cry".

When I was teaching I always tried to respect the parents view, even if we disagreed and I always listened. Notes home should include the teacher's response to the behavior and should also have something positive to say. I would ask if they have a behavior management plan in place and if not, why not. Good luck and hang in there.