More bedtime blues

[Jenifer]

I'm wondering if anyone has advice in the area of getting a three-year-old to stay in bed all night. I don't think we have had a full night's sleep for three months because EVERY night Joy wakes up and either cries for us from her bed, or climbs the baby gate and comes into our room wanting to get into bed with us. We take her back to her own bed, but sometimes she won't go back to sleep for an hour or more. I am exhausted, and quite frankly we have no sex life because of this problem. Anyone have a great solution, besides a dose of Robitussin before bedtime? LOL!

Thanks!
Jenifer, mom to Joy

[Connie]

Jenifer,

LOL...no sex life?!?!? I don't see the problem ;D!!!

If you figure it out will you let me know? Collin 4 w/DS and Lauren 2.5 still wake up in the middle of the night and want to climb into bed with us, and we only sleep in a full size bed.

Collin is not as bad as he used to be and has just started going to be awake here lately. Which is a plus. But, Lauren is a whole nother story!!

Connie

[Ashlea]

We used to have this same problem every single night.... Chandler would wake up and want to get in bed with us. We never let him sleep with us and always take him right back to his bed. He would stay awake sometimes until 4 or 5 in the morning and then of course we would have to get up and go to school the next day. We tried everything from the Benedryl to Robutissin which only seemed to make it worse, we would put a movie on for him to watch at least that way we got some rest.... We finally talked to our pedatrician who recommened we give him Melatonin which I buy at GNC. Every night he takes 3 tablets (we started taking just one and working up to what was effective for him). They're chewable and he calls them his "peppermints" because they are flavored. They don't make him drowsy in the morning, they just seem to have a calming effect enough to let him relax and have a good nights rest. We also stick to a very strict bed time routine every on weekends. Now things are way better... he still wakes up every now and then, but he now we put him back in his bed and he falls right back to sleep.

Also, you might try a reward system for staying all night in her bed, but 3 yrs old might be too young for that to work.

[Mary_L.]

We have the same problem. I'd say at least 5 nights a week Patrick wakes up in the middle of the night. We have put a blanket and pillow on the floor next to our bed and he just lies down there when he comes in. I know we're not doing anything to solve the problem but frankly I'm just to tired in the middle of the night to get up all the time and sit with him until he falls asleep.

Mary

[rickismom]

I think, as hard as it is, one has to be firm about the child not sleeping in your room-I have a friend whose 20 year old daughter with DS is still sleeping in their room!
First, I would invest in a good nightlight for the child. Music may help. One or two nights be prepared to stay up have the night, but be firm on getting them back to their bed.
I once red a study on how to get kids with DS out of M&D bed-looked for it now, but couldn't find it. (Someday I have to catch up on my filing....) but the gist was what I wrote above. They sugeested either

1- sitting with the kid (if needed) for half an hour, and from then on checking the child every 5-10 minutes (without giving him tons of attention, just a look-and -see.

2- really letting the kid cry it out.

Either way, warm your neighbors in advance...

[momofrussell]

Well, Russell wakes up in the middle of the night 3-4 days a week but not because he wants to sleep with us. So we handle it a bit differently. Usually when Russell wakes up he plays in his room and then comes to our room to wake us and we put him in our bed and he goes back to sleep.. then we put him back into his bed. ***he falls asleep in our room around 8:30 every night because we still use a crib for safety and poor sleep issues but can climb out, so we take him into his room when asleep.***

Reece kinda went through this but I really haven't had too many issues in this department. I am one who will let my children cry a bit (longer then most LOL) before I even attempt to check on them. IF Reece (or when Regan was Reece's age) wakes up in the night time it's usually to go potty or a bad dream or every so often because she just wants mommy... I will let them come lay with me for say, 2-5 minutes and they HAVE to go back in their room. I haven't had probs doing that either.

We have never been one for kids in our bed. I was single when I had Regan, she slept with me the first 4 months or so out of convenience for me and nursing but other than that, sleeping in our bed isn't an option. Now, don't get me wrong, they HAVE from time to time but usually for a treat or we are SO exhausted from DAYS of no sleep that we just let it go.

I USE to do that pillow on the floor thing with Regan after Kevin and I got married. She was 3 and for about a year or so she didn't like that *I* got to sleep with someone and she didn't.. but she was only aloud to sleep on the floor next to me if she needed to. But it wasn't every night. Like I said.. I usually do it for treats. Because the way I feel, is that I set enough boundries with my kids with sleep that IF they want to snuggle or sleep with us once in a blue moon, they deserve it!

Also, after talking to parents/friends ect.. over the years I truly believe that WHAT you practice and instill early on with sleep patterns with your children are what lay the foundation later on... so sometimes what we think is cute for the first couple years of life is now a nuisance and now it's even harder to break the habit and the kid doesn't understand what the heck is going on and why they can't sleep in mom and dads room anymore.

I think if she can get to your bed and you are putting her back, you are doing the right thing. IF she doens't get to sleep again for an hour, what do YOU do in this time??? Do you WAIT for her to fall asleep? Do you lay awake wake listening to her? Does she come back in? Or is she just laying in bed ? Because if she is just laying in bed and doesn't get back up and doesn't cry.. I say.. ENJOY YOUR SLEEP!!! If she needs you she will get you, trust me! And if she doesn't.. and you are enabling her, she knows that too. How long do you let her cry? If my kids wake up and aren't crying and aren't coming to get me.. I don't really sweat it. And if they do cry, I can outlast for a LONG time before I go in. LOL

Sounds like it's a phase. And she is trying different things to see if you will come to her rescue. Try not to get TOO emotional (easier said then done, I don't do well with this at times myself) and just keep setting the boundries and putting her in bed. A night light that was suggested is a good idea.

Other than that... I don't know what else to tell you!!!

Good luck!!

OH.. and as far as the sex life goes... well, that is another topic all together for ways to work around all of this LOL... believe me, even those who HAVE tons of time don't take advantage of it like they should LOL. ;D

A.