Dunno, again. So far, Charlie has been among that rather small minority of kids with an extra 21st chromosome who do not object in the least to haircuts, either scissors or clippers.
But I know this has been a topic of discussion over the years over on the old Down-syn listserv. Here's a collection of unauthorized snips, pardon the pun, put together by going to the archives,
listserv.nodak.edu/archives/down-syn.html and searching "haircut or haircuts." Not sure that will really help but might find some comfort in company and hints and tips.
<<As for haircuts, I've resorted to bribery. One small pack of McD's fries
lasts for a whole haircut. And Rae doesn't seem to mind ingesting a few
stray hairs along with the "fat sticks".
M&Ms used to work with haircuts, I'll try the fries next time.
There's that famous stop/drop/plop gene. And of course 87%
of children with Down syndrome are allergic to haircuts.
The haircut allergy ended at 10 yrs. old, almost overnight.
Alex went and got the clippers by himself and wanted us to cut his hair.
That's nice to know cause Kyle at 8 and a half, still really hates haircuts, to the point where he actually fears them. He trembles, shakes, crys, screams, and kicks. He also pees his pants, because he is in so much fear. I have my x husband take him, because I can no longer restrain him. I even thought about letting it grow, maybe a ponytail, my little hippie boy.......
It was also in the latter part of Ted's 8th year that he thought he would try a haircut. Up until then it was always a difficult thing to do and only I could attempt it at home. One day I was at the barber getting my own hair cut and he saw another kid in the chair and said, "I try" so I let him even though he was sporting a recent buzz and there wasn't much to even cut! But I spent the $17 anyway! It was worth it and now we continue to go.
I've recently become a "midnight barber" -- a flashlight and pair of haircutting scissors. Sam's actually got the best haircut now he's ever had! (We also cut his fingernails last week this way, a bit trickier since he likes to tuck his hands under him when he sleeps.) I think he'll still have to go get his hair cut off once in a while since I don't really know how to do more than trim it, but a couple of times a year would certainly be better than every few weeks! I'm glad to hear that there might be an end to this -- it's torture for everyone involved.
I think that those of you who have children with extreme haircut issues, should really think about looking into sensory integration therapy. I think it would help.
I am one of those who have a son who as an extreme problem with haircuts and I have looked into it, with several therapists, who all believe that since Kyle does not have a problem with any other kind of touch, i.e. washing his hair, combing his hair, playing with sand, playing with paste and glue, wearing hats etc., that he does not need sensory intreg. I have even requested or suggested brushing they all disagreed with me. But we tried it anyway, he hated the brushing and it did not help the haircut scene at all.
Zac didn't like haircuts either for a long time until one time my husband decided to use the electric clippers instead of a scissors. We decided they would be faster and safer than a scissors with an attachment on the clippers. Zac was mesmerized by the buzzing sound and sat stone still for the whole thing as I stood by gaping in amazement. Who knows how long this will last!??!!
Madison (7, DS) also has autism and we've tried the hairdresser once and will not do it again for a LONG time. So I am the haircutter. She still hates it, and we have to hold her to cut her bangs, but at least she's not terrified since it us. Honestly takes me a total of 30 seconds to do the bangs. She just wants us to leave her alone....LOL For the rest of her hair (she has beautiful long silky blonde hair) I cut it in the bathtub. Makes for quite a mess, but she's so preoccupied with bubbles and duckies and balls in there with her that she doesn't care.
I can't remember if it was the first time or not, but early on when taking
Ted to the Dentist, he resisted just getting in the chair. The dentist the
assistant and I all physically assisted him to the chair. I promised I would
never do anything forceful with Ted again. He was okay but I was a mess.
My knees were shaky and I felt like I had just consumed 5 cups of coffee!
We now go at 8 am and we are the first patient of the day. We don't stop
in the waiting room, we have a plan to just go right to the chair. Ted may
no doubt have some sensory issues, but I think it has more to do with
transitions. I am not comparing myself to Donny Osmond, but I saw on TV
that he had some anxiety disorders and heard him say that he really has
a hard time with transitions. I do also. I just never thought about it in
Concrete terms. I hate getting in or out of the shower, I like it while I am there but it is just hard for me to motivate the transition.
I have slight trouble actually leaving my home or somewhere. Once I am
out, I'm okay but something must be wrong with me at that actual moment
of decision to move! Even going down to the basement can cause difficulty.
Ted does fine with haircuts, blood draws and the dentist.
I also think that if we just take the time to _teach_ our children what we
Would like for them to choose to do it by showing, modeling, practicing and waiting,
they will do fine.
The symbols for transitions and the communicate and wait method work well. Even when he doesn't want to go. I always validate how he is feeling as well. "I know you don't want to get your haircut, but we have no choice today." and I leave the transition in front of him. And then we wait it out. It feels like forever, but is usually about 1-3 minutes.
Aidan announced this morning, out of the blue, that he wanted a haircut. In 7 years, that was the first time. Up til now he was getting around 2 haircuts a year when a friend of mine would come over and he'd cry, we'd hold his hands and sweat, and she'd cut as fast as her scissors could snip (Aidan has lots of thick hair). So this morning I asked if he wanted to go to the barber for his haircut, and he said he did.So he just called me here at work and hollered into the phone, "Hey mom!! I got a haircut, see?" I said, "That's so cool! Where did you get it cut?" "At the bunker shop" He is so pleased, as are we! This is a HUGE step for him... Just think, maybe someday he'll even go to a concert!
Wow! Seven years? I have been mulling this problem over for months. Aidan has such straight, thick fast-growing hair that I have to trim it every month or so. He hates it! I don't mind that people mistake him for a girl when it's haircut time but I do mind that if I don't cut it it'll start growing over his eyes and ears. The poor baby screams even if I trim a teeny tiny bit. I think he is scared of the sound the scissors make when they are cutting. I feel bad but it has to get done. I've had other kids and friends try to distract him but it doesn't always work. Any advice? 18 months is too young for a barber shop and if he doesn't like me doing it, forget the barber.
Well, in all those 7 years we've had 3 sane haircuts, so I'm probably not the best person to ask. One thing I did find a few years back was that if everyone was quiet, he was able to cope better -- our instinct is to talk to him, reassure him, etc., and it only just upset him more. So I told everyone to just be quiet, and he calmed down considerably. At the barbershop, apparently the barber did talk him through the whole thing, but because this time Aidan was the one who asked for it (and by now he has a better idea of what's going on), he didn't mind the extra noise. All the other parents have kept assuring me that maturity brings all these changes, and little by little it's starting to come true. So if nothing else works, know that this, too, shall pass.
Suss out a hairdressers that is laid out the right way, and will let you do this. Armed or laden with appropriate distraction material for deployment as appropriate, visit the hairdressers a lot. Initially just going past. A very gentle progression on successive visits through touching the door, opening the door, touching waiting area table of magazines etc. The eventual target is only to visit and spend time sitting in the waiting area from which people can be seen having stuff done to their hair. Nobody, especially the hairdressers (who are after all potentially dangerous strangers) talks of cutting or scissors or whatever he has difficulty with on these visits.
Build things very gently and slowly each visit. Other children having their hair cut. The barber chairs with foot pedals to make them go up and down. The water sprays to dampen hair, the brushes to brush trimmed hair off your neck. Lots of multi-sensory stuff that Eliot might, when he is ready, take notice of, and be interested in and become familiar with.
When I take Matthew, now 16, to the barbers, I remind him several times before his 'turn', that in a little while he can sit on the chair in front of the mirror if he wants to. Often I'm getting my hair cut too. I go first. When his turn comes, we ask a little harder, but he doesn't have to do it. Matthew doesn't talk much, so in discussions we have to pay very close attention. Sometimes we miss a turn or two, then he is keen. Sometimes it becomes obvious that he doesn't want to have a hair cut that day, so we say our goodbyes.
These days we mostly come home with haircuts. >>
Regards,
Bob
