|
|
Post by andrewsmom on Nov 26, 2005 18:09:09 GMT -5
Hey everyone!!  I went to CVS the night before Thanksgiving. I was waiting in line when I saw a woman and her teenage son and daughter looking at what candy to buy. Her son had DS. As he picked the BIGGEST candy bar there, his Mom said "Well John, are you going to share that with your brothers?" To which he replied very matter of factly "Nope". Through her chuckling, his mother then asked "Well, are you going to share it with your Mom?" Which he replied again in the same flat tone, "nope". I just stood there smiling. Her son noticed me smiling and looked over at me and said "hi, I'm John". So, still smiling, I said "Hi John, how are you?" He never answered me but just held up his BIG candy bar for me to see. ;D I soo wanted to talk to him and his Mom but just didn't have the right words.   I didn't have Andrew or any of the kids with me. I would really like to talk to Mom's of older children with DS because I think they could give me some wonderful advice. Any of you ever have trouble talking with someone you see at the store, mall or just out and about? I'm really hoping next time I will get the nerve up to go over and talk to them. Any advice?? -Trisha |
|
|
|
Post by MB on Nov 26, 2005 19:55:05 GMT -5
I usually say, "Hey, I've got a son who looks a lot like you." Then I wait and see if the mother takes the bait and asks, "Down syndrome?"
mb
|
|
|
|
Post by shellk on Nov 26, 2005 21:14:24 GMT -5
I start it out like MB sometimes, and then there are other times where I just look and say, "My daughter is 6" and usually they get what I mean, seems sometimes like we have our own little codes built in, and then there are times when I say that and I get this look like so what !! And then I bring up that my daughter also has DS, and then it really seems like the tension fades out.
Michele
|
|
|
|
Post by Chris on Nov 26, 2005 23:16:39 GMT -5
First, I give the child or parent a compliment about the child. Then I simply tell them that I have a four year old daughter with Ds. I have never had anyone be cold or short with me. Everyone has always been very welcoming. Get up the nerve because you may strike up a wonderful friendship.
Chris
|
|
|
|
Post by myangelsaliandsadi on Nov 27, 2005 5:43:46 GMT -5
If I have Ali with me I don't usually have a problem... I have been known to run through a restaurant with her to catch someone before they leave. It figures though, I leave the house without my child maximum twice a month and it is THOSE two times that I usually see someone I'd like to approach. Without Ali I usually don't approach them. When she is with me I don't have to say much because they see her. I also love to talk to parents, but mostly the older kids themselves. I just don't have the guts a lot of the time. |
|
|
|
Post by kellyds on Nov 27, 2005 7:38:19 GMT -5
There's a man who bags groceries at our grocery store who has Down syndrome. Before we had Joshua, my husband and I often commented to each other about how nice he is and how "functional" and "Boy, if you had a child with Down syndrome, wouldn't you be proud if he grew up to be like Mark?". Now that we have Joshua, I have of course felt drawn to Mark. A few weeks ago, he took my groceries out to my van for me. I remembered reading an article about him in the newspaper a couple of years ago about his involvement in martial arts, so I told him I remembered the article and asked if he was still doing martial arts and we chatted a bit. Then I blurted out, "I've been thinking about that article quite a bit lately, because it said you have Down syndrome and my son, Joshua here, has Down syndrome, too." He stopped what he was doing and RUSHED around the shopping cart, petting Joshua's head and saying, "Aw! He's a CUTE little guy!" Now every time we go in there, Mark comes over saying he wants to see his "little friend" and makes a big fuss over Joshua, patting him or letting Joshua hold onto his finger. The other day, he saw me struggling to lift my three-year-old into the child seat while also holding Joshua and he lifted her in for me. He seems very bright and has a good sense of how much "fuss" to make without being inappropriate. My children love to go into that store now. Mark is their hero! Sorry this was so long but . . . I'm pretty shy and I'm glad I said something to Mark. Our family has a new "friend" because of it.  |
|
|
|
Post by dannysmom on Nov 27, 2005 14:14:01 GMT -5
This situtation only happened to me once so far as my son is only 5 months. I was in a store and saw the cutest boy in the carriage and I suspected he had Ds. I asked my husband to look and he suspected the same thing. We have not met any local parents with young chidren with Ds. This little boy appeared to be a little over a year.
Anway, my husband and I walked by and said hi to him. My husband asked how old he was. The mom said, 13 months..but he is a bit small for his age..he is a little delayed. I just said ....my son has Ds, does yours? She replied Yes, he does. We started chatting and come to find out..she is an obgyn...and diagnosed her own son at his birth. She noticed the features and said for the nurses to call the pedi right away. He has done very well, no heart issues..good muscle tone...just needed ear tubles. It was so nice to meet another mom...and the small world that it is....she is my cousins obgyn..and delivered her son!!!
|
|
|
|
Post by Debbie on Nov 27, 2005 16:33:14 GMT -5
I think that is great! You took the plunge and talked to the Mother.
If someone came up and wanted to talk to me I would probably make the time to talk to her or him. Most of the time I am with my Mother and boy-friend. I think it is very important how you approach this person, adult, adolescent or child. It all comes down to being friendly and open. It is an amazing feeling when you see someone who is kind of like you. When I see another adult who has Down syndrome I want to do the same thing I just don't know how to talk to that person. I mean, should I say,"Hey, I have what you have," or say, "I think we have something in common." So don't feel bad, I have done the same thing! ;D
|
|
|
|
Post by andrewsmom on Nov 27, 2005 21:21:34 GMT -5
Thanks everyone! I loved hearing all your stories. I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna find the guts somewhere and approach the next family I come across. Ofcourse being in a small town, that could be awhile, but I'm much more confident now.
Debbie...I would LOVE to meet and talk with you and I'm sure other adults with DS would too. But I'm glad I'm not alone!!!
-Trisha
|
|
|
|
Post by dannysmom on Nov 27, 2005 21:33:54 GMT -5
Hey Trisha...I'm from RI..where are you in MA. I worked in Westwood for 10 years!!
|
|
|
|
Post by andrewsmom on Nov 27, 2005 21:49:05 GMT -5
Hi Lisa!! I live in a small town in North Central Ma. RI is probably about an hour away. Not too far for me to travel.....go to CVS at all?? LOL!
|
|
|
|
Post by dannysmom on Nov 27, 2005 22:50:10 GMT -5
LOL....If you do catch me at CVS...I'm the one with no makeup, hair up in a pony tail ,probably no bra...running in to grab some milk..and PRAYING I don't run into anyone from high school!!! LOL!!!
|
|
|
|
Post by steffipoo on Nov 27, 2005 23:04:34 GMT -5
hee hee... I usually just say to the parent or even the person I have a daughter who's 8 with ds.... I have found that there is never really an appropriate way to say it. A lady at a longs pharmacy said to Liv and I one day as she lol as I tried to DRAG Olivia AWAY from the blood pressure machine......she said OHHH you so remind me of my brother. And we started to taqlk as she said to Olivia. I have a bro who's a lot like you... WELL there we talked about her bro and how much she loves to give him a hug everyday she gets home from work. I have even went in when she wasn't busy and I asked her about what her parents did to have them have such a loveley relationship. We have tallked for hours.Olivia calls her HI HEIDI with an AAAAAAAAA... LOL... It's their thing ya know. I have made many a friend this way. HUGS steff
|
|
|
|
Post by jnyhuis on Nov 28, 2005 21:00:49 GMT -5
8-)We all need to interact with each other. I am the "grama" and I always strike up a conversation whenever I see another DS child. I want to know about their language, etc. and all the moms and dads have been great. I think we can all learn from each other. I love the gal who said "my son looks like you". That is a great opening line.
|
|
|
|
Post by kellyds on Nov 28, 2005 22:23:31 GMT -5
Somebody approached ME today! I was downtown with Joshua and a lady came scurrying over, cooing, "Just look at this special little man!" She told me she had three adopted sons, two with DS (and one with autism). She was very positive, saying they are almost grown now and the BEST part of her life. NICE, NICE lady! ;D |
|
I didn't have Andrew or any of the kids with me. I would really like to talk to Mom's of older children with DS because I think they could give me some wonderful advice. 
