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Post by kellyds on Dec 4, 2005 12:25:27 GMT -5
I know everyone hates the "happy guy with Down syndrome" stereotype. I do, too. BUT . . .
I have NEVER had a kid that smiles as much as Joshua. All you have to do is barely make eye contact with him and he breaks out in a huge grin that covers half his face. When we're downtown and someone stops to admire the baby, they can barely pull themselves away after he bestows one of his smiles on them.
He hardly ever cries. He got a little worried look on his face during his last set of shots and immediately started smiling again as soon as I picked him up.
Joshua definitely fits the stereotype so far. The reason the stereotype bothers me is because I don't want people thinking there's something wrong with a person with Down syndrome if they sometimes express displeasure or anger. They have just as much right as anyone else to have their moods. But, wow, is this kid easy to be around!
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Post by Debbie on Dec 4, 2005 13:57:58 GMT -5
I think it is great that Joshua is so happy. In fact, it is good!
You are right though some people with Down syndrome can be grumpy, sad, angry, like anyone else. I am a person who has Down syndrome. I tend to be a quiet type and was very shy as a youngster. I didn't have many friends and I think this is due to my introverted self. I have come across those who have Down syndrome who were of a grumpy personality. So it is true we are not always what people see as Down syndrome as a whole. I know of a certain young lady with Down syndrome who has a wonderful personality and people just love her! (Gee, I wonder who she is?!) ;D We are all different in our own ways and identities.
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Post by myangelsaliandsadi on Dec 4, 2005 14:07:20 GMT -5
My kid was like that too... and then she hit 2! Just wait, he'll outgrow the sterotype shortly!  |
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Post by Emilysmom on Dec 4, 2005 15:01:25 GMT -5
Kelly,
It is absolutely wonderful that you have a baby with a TERRIFIC disposition.............many babies with Ds do and it truly is a blessing!!! I think the problem is when we hear "ALL BABIES WITH DOWN SYNROME do blah blah blah". Any time you hear the word "ALL" or "NONE" you know it's wrong because our kids with Ds are very different from each other; even when they might have a few characteristics that are similar. ALL kids with Ds are not stubborn, but I've heard that so often too.
My daughter was also very very easy to be around when she was a baby/toddler.........always smiling! Is that because she has Ds, or because she was showered with love and attention by everyone around her, or simply because it is her personality? I have no idea. And now, when I hear so many people say that ALL young people with Ds are very outgoing and friendly and hug a lot, I think..........NOT my girl!!! LOL She is SO just the opposite! She is selective about her hugs, and seems almost painfully shy until she gets to know someone pretty well.
Again..........I'm so glad Joshua is such a happy guy!!! Maybe it has something to do with his parents being "experienced" and knowing how to meet his needs so well? I'll bet he gets LOTS of love and smiles from those around him too!!
Susan
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Post by CC on Dec 4, 2005 22:47:06 GMT -5
Well for us we have two kids one with DS and one without and BOTH of our kids were the best, easiest, happiest babies/toddlers and even now as both our teens  have smiles that just melt ones heart BUT also both have bad days now and then just like us all. My thinking is ONLY people that really don't know much or live with ones with DS would make that statement, KWIM??  Just my thoughts  CC ~ |
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Post by dannysmom on Dec 4, 2005 22:56:37 GMT -5
Since I am still new to all this....my son is only 6 months......but I have heard that parents of kids with Ds do not like this stereotype. I ask myself...where does this stereotype come from? I know for me personally.....I have ALOT more patience with my son...because of all the medical problems and all the potential for problems...I have learned to cherish all the moments I have with him. I think many of us parents feel the same way. I have heard many parents say their children have taught them to find joy in the smallest accomplishment.
So I wonder if this stereotype comes from our kids truly feeling happier? Maybe our kids can feel that we cherish them, admire them, and love them with all our heart. Maybe our kids are happy......maybe happier than most...because we just love them so much. I have often thought that when someone tells me "how happy they all are". I know that is a generalization ....and all our kids are not alike.....but maybe in some ways they are.....maybe they feel how deep our love is....and it makes them happy.
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Post by kellyds on Dec 5, 2005 1:14:52 GMT -5
None of my kids went through the stereotypical "terrible twos" either. They've all been good sleepers and had pretty good dispositions. But Joshua tops them all. He can go days at a time without crying. Yes, he does get a lot of attention with five siblings and their friends all doting on him. |
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Post by stevedp on Dec 5, 2005 6:54:41 GMT -5
our guys are so happy but they're lots of other things. love em
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Post by Jackie on Dec 5, 2005 8:28:52 GMT -5
This staqtement used to make me see red...mainly because I hate generalizations.
Emily is not always ...nor has she ever been an eternally HAPPY PERSON.
I have always wished I had the nerve to reply back...."well then do you go up to every overweight person you see and say.....'I just love fat people...cuz you are all soooo jolly' " ;D
But in the scope of things...there are far worse statements people could make....and so I just take this now with a grain of salt...don't try to set anyone straight.....at least I figure these folks have a POSITIVE impression of DS.
Jackie mom to Emily 25 in Texas
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Post by momofrussell on Dec 5, 2005 10:09:35 GMT -5
Well, I am glad your little guy IS so content!!! Hey... DS or not.. we all want that!!! I have to say except for Russell's new growling he does.. he has always been pretty content, too complacent at times actually, but very happy, giggly giggly giggly! And truly, those stereotypical comments don't bother me either... but I understand why they would bother most.... A. |
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Post by Renee' on Dec 5, 2005 11:29:26 GMT -5
Lauren was like that when she was younger. She is now a typical almost 7 year old that doesn't like to be told what to do. She is very loving and loves hugs. I do laugh when people say that to me. I just tell them to hand around a little while and they will see the other side |
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Post by Kristen on Dec 5, 2005 12:36:28 GMT -5
I just don't like the idea that happiness is generally tied to the idea that people with mental retardation are happy because they don't know any better. Like, Carter's a happy kid because he's just in his happy little la-la world. It also goes hand in hand with that random hugging stuff - OMG do I hate that! My mom's cousin always talks about this one girl at the McD's by her that stops to hug everyone and takes so long because she is busy hugging. Makes me want to rip my hair out every time. To me, that is a girl who was not taught appropriate behavior, self control and publically appropriate behavior. At the ripe old age of 3 Carter does NOT do that, nor has he ever because I have always been very on top of his behavior wherever we are. He is friendly and will wave when he sees someone looking at him and say "hah" (his version of hi) but that's the end of it. No hugging, no touching strange people, none of that. THOSE are the reasons it bothers me.
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Post by Jessie on Dec 5, 2005 13:31:02 GMT -5
I have always felt that stereotypes are created/caused for SOME reason - that there's a grain of truth to the stereotype somewhere, good or bad as that may be.
I have often said that Jason is Mr. Grumpy and he is the crankiest person in the morning that I've ever met. However, when we take him out in public he is so happy and friendly towards everyone (always smiling, says hi and shakes hands - we have grown out of the hugging stage) - I can understand why people think the way that they do. If I didn't know Jason and I saw him in public, it would NOT change my belief in the stereotype - that is exactly how he acts.
Why is he like this? Don't know. Does it have to do with him having Ds? Don't know. What I do know is that people treat him very well in public because he is so happy, which I am ok with.
Jessie
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Post by Kristen on Dec 5, 2005 13:41:38 GMT -5
Jessie - you have an excellent point - where the is smoke there is fire and I do agree 100% with that. It was actually the first thing I thought and did not note it in message, but I do totally agree.
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Post by Jessie on Dec 5, 2005 13:54:32 GMT -5
. . . and I failed to put in my post that although I think there are reasons for stereotypes, I still don't like them!!! Especially the one that Jackie used as an example - hey, I may be chunky, but I am NOT jolly!!! LOL ;D Where does that one come from anyway - Santa Claus? LOL
Jessie
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&
Susan, Proud mom of Michael (32), Justin (25) Emily (22ds), and Jordan (20).
have smiles that just melt ones heart BUT also both have bad days now and then just like us all. My thinking is ONLY people that really don't know much or live with ones with DS would make that statement, KWIM?? 
Just my thoughts 
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