Child spacing question

[firerose98]

I have a child spacing question.

For those of you that have had other children after your DS child, how long did you wait and why?

Gillian is 16 months old now. We are still waiting to have another child, mostly for logistical reasons like Daddy getting a new job. I would like to know though if there are some things I should be aware of with regards to her DS that would make me want to wait longer...or maybe not wait too long before having another child.

We know that we would like to have at least 2 more kids, I'm only 24 afterall. We do want to wait for my husband to find a job that can support our family, but after that, I'm not sure how long to wait.

Any advice or experience that people have to share would be appreciated.

Thanks!
Michelle

[Kristen]

I am a bad person to ask - when Carter was Gillian's age he already had 1 month old sister :lol Having them close together was the best thing I ever did for him. We planned on that before we knew anything about Carter's dx, but knowing he would benefit from a younger sibling made it that much more salient in our minds that it was right for us. Sydney is a very interesting, precocious little girl. She truly blows me away and is the best sister Carter could have had. They are best friends, she has taken on the role of being a caretaker to him and she loves him sooo much...I often joke that I think Carter picked us for his parents, but Sydney just used us to get to her beloved "Tarter" :lol

[tworiveras]

After we had my son, due to employment and insurance circumstances we ended up waiting 4 1/2 years before our next baby. We were actually hoping to try to have the next one when he was 2.
However, he is 8 now, and gets along very well with his 3 year old sister. He's having some jealousy issues, I think, because his 18 month old sister is getting to the age that she can play and interact with the 3 year old. He seems to be right around 3 or 4 developmentally, so it's like we have our teenager, and 3 "preschool/toddler" kids. It'll be interesting to see how having the new baby in September affects him.

Good luck,

Karen

[Radonna]

I have tried to have my babies one right after another and ended up with them spaced 5 1/2 years between my first and second and four years between my second and third.
Every time I had a baby it was like a new thing to me! I felt a LITTLE more competent with my third one, but not a whole lot. I kept thinking I was forgetting something, because honestly no matter how long it has been since you had an infant you kind of forget how tiny and fragile they feel.

I have seen the big spaces work well because the older kids are so taken with the baby that they help becoming an extra set of hands. But I have also seen the bond in my Mom's two little boys (adopted) they are 14 months apart and they are the best of friends. I think that no matter how you space them there are pro's and cons.

But my philosophy will always been the more the merrrier! I love close big families. I wish I could have another baby now! Been trying about 1 1/2 and seems like nature likes giving me them in 4/5 year spans

Radonna

[Connie]

Michelle,

I have 4 and there is anywhere from 21 to 28 months in between each of them. I don't feel that is to close or to far apart. I can say that there is 25 months between Collin (who is now 6) and Lauren (who will be 4 in 3 weeks) and while she was a surprise in more ways than one she is one of the best things we could have ever done for Collin. She has pulled him right along.

I honestly beleive there is not perfect time to plan children. Heck if we waited to have kids until we could afford them....we wouldn't have any!!!

Good Luck,
Connie

[Radonna]

Connie

"Heck if we waited to have kids until we could afford them....we wouldn't have any!!!"

That is EXACTLY what I tell my husband to get him aboard the baby boat!!! ROFL

[kellyds]

God spaces our kids. We have six living children, and I have had seven miscarriages. I've had one miscarriage since Joshua (our son with DS) was born. The closest we had living children is 13 months and the farthest spacing is eight years. Funny thing is . . . no matter how they've been spaced . . . the timing ended up being JUST PERFECT! :-)

[ethansmammy]

Ethan is 2.5 years older than Isabel. Now they are 2 and 4, it is like having twins in a lot of ways, they are now near enough the same size and same developmental age. It has been a bit difficult getting out and about with them, until this last month or so I wasn't able to take them on a walk by myself as one would run one way and one the other They are starting to get a bit better at that now, but I have to be honest and say it hasn't been the easiest time since they both started running! Before that it was no problem really at all. On the positive side they are like two peas in a pod. Either best friends or fighting but very close and I'm sure Ethan learns from her. They have an older brother who is 8 and is very good with them but he is at school all day - it's nice to have the two little ones to keep each other company.

[momofrussell]

Russell and Reece are 2 1/2 yrs apart... we wanted 3 kids and when we started talking about the third... Kevin wanted to wait another year.. he wanted to make sure Russell was walking and far enough along so to speak.. but I 33 when we were starting to get serious about it.. and we were going to plan this one (the birth date) away from the other two which are both in March... so we had this window of opportunity so to speak. Kevin kept saying.. no next year.. and I said... no.. this year (in 2000)... due to my age... and well, a couple weeks later I called Kevin at work and said I was pregnant.. he said "YOU WIN!" LOL...

I think I did it more from a standpoint of MY age at the time and not wanting to wait another year... Kevin on the other hand was looking at it as a developemental standpoint with Russell. Which.. in hindsight... really didn't work anyway so I am glad we did NOT wait... a year wouldn't have really made much a difference looking back.. so I'd rather them be 2 yrs apart. We didn't know at the time just how delayed Russell was... we tried to get him walking by the time Reece was born... and he wasn't... so... SAY LA VEE!!! heehee Also... My oldest, Regan and Russell are 5 yrs apart and we tried to have them closer together... but it wasn't work out that way.. and I wanted my kids to be closer together... so that weighed in for me too.

I think I rambled a bit too much on this topic so I hope there is an answer for you in here somewhere LOL

A.

[poojamom]

Well!
After a very famous doctor back in India told us to forget about Pooja and start thinking about another one, I just thought Iam not gonna have another one!also I was terrified of all the other opinions the so called Dr's Had about Pooja
But after Moving here we wanted to have one right away, I was not able to for 7yrs after that.Which was good in some ways,without having any support at all, it would have been hard to take care of the kids.

So I feel it is a wide gap and also would have loved another one, but we can't

[meghans_mom]

Meghan was 20 months or so when I got pg with #2. She was - what - about 2 yr 5months when our son was born.
it worked out really well because she started walking at 20 months so I didn't have to worry about carrying 2 around, etc.
best of luck - laurie

[AnnieC]

Raven was our 1st as well. She was 22 months when we had Abbi, 3 1/2 when we had Emily & 7 when we had Jared.

I really don't think there is a "perfect" time, just whenever you feel right about it. But, I do think sibs are wonderful for any child.

I agree Connie!!! We wouldn't have any either if we waited to afford one! lol

[momofrussell]

Kelly... I like what you said... it makes perfect sense! You know... I always wanted Regan and Russell closer together... but you know what... it DID work out perfectly the way it did... because having a big sister... to be older and understanding and another pair of "helping hands" was obviously JUST what God planned for us....

A.

[laurasnowbird]

Hmmm, mine are spaced REALLY far apart, LOL! Nick was 12 when Victoria was born. Victoria was about 3 1/2 when Ethan was born, and they are the best of buddies. In fact, they'll sit on the couch together, and hug and say "Best friends". Of course Victoria taught that to Ethan, so that tells you how much she loves him.

Then of course our little guy Aidan brings up the rear. We called him the "caboose" when I was pregnant, he's the last car in our little family train. Ethan was almost four when Aidan was born.

This is just my feeling, but I don't think there's a particular "perfect" time to have a sibling. I think any sibling you give your kids is PERFECT! My kids all love each other a lot, and Nick's (who's almost 20) favorite sibling is Ethan who is only four years old!

[hannahph]

Hannah is seven and Logan is three.There is four years(and one day) between them.We planned on having another one earlier but I had a ectopic preganacy when Hannah was two and trouble getting pregnant again.For us it is a perfect span.hannah and Logan are the best of friends.The only advice I would have is to get a good heavy duty double stroller.Even though Hannah was four we got one becasue she gets tired easily and wanted to be carried and not possible with a newborn too.