|
|
Post by ALLISA on Mar 29, 2007 21:09:36 GMT -5
Hi guys....I have bus question..... Erin takes Special Ed bus to school.....school is less than 2 miles away. She is the last one picked up and the first one dropped off...so basically on the bus for less than 8 minutes per day ! I used to drive her, but we agreed at IEP to let her try the bus....a step towards independence. It has been nice...she waves and blows me kisses.....HUGE for my daughter ! She is VERY tiny....weighs just under 30 pounds.....so is in a car seat. She is a head banger, :(and we have to adjust her seat so she isn't near a window....but she also can't be near a child, in case she pulls hair  Well....my bus driver has been coming earlier and earlier every day wich then results in the bus sitting and waiting at school. Children can not get off a bus or be dropped until 8 AM and she is arriving at 7:45....so for 15 minutes she is aggraivated, frustrated,etc because she lacks the communication to UNDERSTAND why she's sitting and waiting. School called today to say she had LARGE bump on her head.....did she do it at home ? NOPE....head was clear of bumps....she must have done on bus....THEN I find out...bus driver undoes her seatbelt and lets her "roam free" on bus while waitning.......ggggrrrrr....... Teacher has suggested ( second time) to have a bus monitor specifically for my her..... for some reason that isn't settling well with me....should I be happy and say YES I want a montitor......but.....I feel that she has a 4 minute ride....why does she need a monitor ? Am I in denial of HOW BAD her behaviors are and don't want to admit she needs a monitor for a four minute ride ? Should I just drive her myself ? I get so frustrated at so many points of my day and our life....I always feel like throwing my arms up and shouting " FORGET IT....I'LL JUST DO IT MYSELF" I think I need to go to bed and have a good cry..... Any thoughts & advice are appreciated ! |
|
|
|
Post by MB on Mar 29, 2007 21:13:57 GMT -5
The only reason for a monitor would be to facilitate friendships on the bus that do not include pulling hair. Seriously, she will be facing public transportation her whole life. Might as well get bus etiquette out of the way early!
mb
|
|
|
|
Post by ALLISA on Mar 29, 2007 21:23:08 GMT -5
You put a much nicer spin on it than I had MB.....I am picturing a monitor as a stern police force making sure Erin isn't causing total havoc......
Now, how do I overcome/deal with my feelings of "aaauuugghhhhhh" that Erin needs YET another aide.......where is the light at the end of the tunnel ?
Isn't it supposed to be getting easier ?
|
|
|
|
Post by ALLISA on Mar 29, 2007 21:30:27 GMT -5
Plus....on top of everything else, I'm working on a couple of committees trying to get a handle on the school budget and aid in "finding" money to restore some programs from Regular Ed that have been cut.....ongoing school/ town budget problems.....
And I feel GUILT....yes I do.....that she may now require a monitor....it took me a long while to work up to the bus......I figured no big deal, I can drive her.....but truly....I'm not COSTING them anything to put her on the bus.....'cuase the bus is going anyways.....it's not like it's empty and they run it just for her....
Okay...really off to bed now....sure things will be happier in the morning.....
|
|
|
|
Post by momofrussell on Mar 29, 2007 21:51:13 GMT -5
I say ...work though your feelings.. have the good cry, go to bed.. and request the monitor  I am not seeing this as defeat... nor should you. Plus, I am too lazy to drive Russell, so I'd be requesting a monitor before I took him LOL A. |
|
|
|
Post by Jessie on Mar 30, 2007 9:54:56 GMT -5
A good cry always helps . . . hope you are feeling better today!
Maybe if you looked at the monitor situation as just a short, temporary situation it would be easier to agree to? Doesn't have to be long-term or permanent, right? So she needs a little help on the bus right now, she's young and the situation has been changed on her - she didn't change the situation, she's just reacting to the change that she didn't have any control over. Don't feel bad about it - especially when it comes to the budget part of it - why does the bus have to get to school so early and make the kids wait that long?? That's not your fault.
Jessie
|
|
|
|
Post by MB on Mar 30, 2007 12:55:12 GMT -5
If you are worried about the budget, by all means demand that the bus driver get her act together and arrive at school on time.
mb
|
|
|
|
Post by lespring on Mar 30, 2007 20:56:30 GMT -5
We had a similar problem...ONCE! The bus was supposed to come at 7:40. There was one other rider who was picked up first. They started coming about 10 minutes early, then 15, and they too were sitting in front of school. Angela has similar behavioral issues on the bus and does require a chaparone. Anyway, I finally asked why they're coming so early just to sit at the school and wait? Turns out the mom of the other rider has to leave for work so they had to come a few minutes earlier. I don't know about you, but I can't dictate what time the bus comes for my typical kids! I finally said sorry, Angela won't be ready for the bus until 7:40. If you want to sit in my yard, that's up to you, but she won't be ready until that time. Hmmm a couple days of that and the bus quit coming early.
|
|
|
|
Post by CC on Mar 30, 2007 23:31:37 GMT -5
Hmmm if you are worried bout the school budget then tell them K, sit in front of my house for the time they are early and Erin will get on the bus at the time that is necessary to get he to school in time. How the heck can they argue that, I mean if they sit on the bus anyway, just suggest they sit in front of your house rather then the school and then Erin will not have any problems ;D CC ~ |
|
|
|
Post by ALLISA on Mar 31, 2007 11:54:17 GMT -5
thank you all......
Did talk to bus company yesterday and I was told Erin would not be picked up before 7:55....
That was the easy part......just not sure about the head bump part and who did what.....I feel like this is turning into bus driver vs. teacher......
I'm hoping that once the schedule is fine, then everything else will fall into place....
Thanks again for letting me vent !!!!
|
|
|
|
Post by lespring on Mar 31, 2007 15:06:56 GMT -5
Our district has a chaparone on EVER SINGLE BUS, regardless if there is one or 60 students on it. About 4 years ago there was an "incident" with a special ed student and a driver. Turns out the driver had a record. So they put chaparones on all the special ed buses. Then a couple months after that there was a fight on a reg. ed. bus that nearly caused an accident as the driver tried to pull over to deal with the issue. So they put chaparones on all the regular ed buses as well. Makes me feel better when Angela is alone on a bus, it's never just her and the driver. A few years ago I was working for a neighboring district. I was helping some of the special ed. students get on their afternoon buses. One student in particular had very low gross motor skills, and would often stall-out half way up the bus steps. Then the driver said something to the effect of, "Ok ya retard, just put one foot in front of the other and we can get everyone home!" I was instantly shaking. I turned to see who else was around that might have heard it, and it was just me and him...lovely. It was gonna be his word against mine. I decided to keep my mouth shut for the moment and just get the kids on the bus. Then as I was helping buckle students in, one student was in a wheelchair and reached out and touched the driver's hair as he was winching the chair into the straps. I thought he was going to hit the student! This student's hands are always wet from mouthing, and the driver said, "ACK! Don't touch me with those F*** gross hands!" That was it. I was livid. I turned to him and said, "Don't you ever talk to any of these student using any of the language I've heard today again." His reply? "What? None of 'em talk, so who's gonna tell?  ?" I couldn't get to the office fast enough. I was shaking so bad, then started crying because I was so mad. The principal was upset, the special ed teacher was uspet, the bus company? The could have cared less. Just bunch of good 'ol boys driving the school buses ya know. I contacted every one of the parents who's kids ride that bus. It wasn't long before he was gone, but I payed for it for months afterwards with harassing phone calls and letters from that scum bag. I'm all for chaparones on the bus. |
|
|
|
Post by char on Mar 31, 2007 18:30:56 GMT -5
First off, a good cry always helps me. Second, your child should not have to get on the bus before her appointed time, and she should not have to wait on the bus when she gets to school. Someone else needs to adjust their schedule.
I'm horrified that any adult would talk to children like I see in the post above. I, too, would have been livid, and I would have been in tears because when I'm that angry, it's a given that I will cry when trying to express that anger.
I can't imagine the rage I would feel if someone verbally abused one of my grandchildren...heck, I wouldn't tolerate them saying something mean about my kids and they range from 44 to 36.
I would see the extra person on the bus as an advocate for my child. I'm all for advocates any time a child is in a position where he or she can possibly be hurt in any way. Heck, some days now I wish I had an advocate and I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself.
Char
|
|
|
|
Post by Danielle on Apr 1, 2007 7:32:10 GMT -5
Allisa, I was going to offer different advice and that is to drive her.  The bus is causing way more stress and aggrevation that it's worth...and yes, maybe it's providing a sense of independence but I'm not sure it's worth it for the 8 minutes of a ride? OR, definitely get a separate monitor and don't feel guilty about it at all because the existing "monitor" does NOTHING. (At least in my experience). So, in my opinion, this is not even about Erin and her needs; this is about the lack of support being provided to her. Support that should be there and isn't. I have MAJOR issues with the bus company in our town (we're in the same town for anyone who doesn't know)...our problem is the opposite - they are NEVER on time, his afternoon ride is over an hour so I started having our nanny pick him up at school...and the worst is they don't do a THING for him while he's riding. The "monitor" (joke) won't even wipe his nose -- he's come off the bus to school COVERED in snot more than once. Very frustrating. Dani |
|
|
|
Post by laurasnowbird on Apr 1, 2007 8:27:12 GMT -5
Char,
You said "I would see the extra person on the bus as an advocate for my child. I'm all for advocates any time a child is in a position where he or she can possibly be hurt in any way."
What a great piece of advice that was.....and I'm going to carry it with me for a loooong time. I think we all struggle sometimes with the expense of the things our kids may need, and also have to deal with our feelings about our child needing extra help. But you are sooo right, when a bus is full of children who are non-verbal or who have limited verbal skills, the aide is an extra set of eyes and ears!
We are considering Ethan's placement for next year, and his teachers this year feel he will need an aide because he doesn't pay attention when the teacher is addressing a group. Rather than look at this as an obstacle, I will see it as an opportunity to assist the teacher. The aide will be there to assist Ethan as LITTLE as possible, but will be able to help other children in the room.
It sounds like you have the situation well in hand, Allisa. Although I can relate to your comment about feeling like you should just HANDLE IT some days. There are definitely days I feel like it would be easier to do it all myself than to expend the energy getting other people to do what they should. You're in good company on that one, I think! Let us know how this works out...... Hugs, Laura
|
|
|
|
Post by chasesmom on Apr 1, 2007 9:39:07 GMT -5
Allisa, I always forget about some of those Chase behaviors until I see them again in print. Hair pulling, oh man, I never thought he'd be able to sit on a bus by anyone because of that! The good news is, she will quit, I PROMISE!!!!! (just cant guarantee when :  I didnt realize she didnt have a bus aide with her. Chase always had an aide on the bus because I knew he would do exatly what poor Erin is doing if he had to wait. A bus aide wont really cost that much to the district so if it continues I think you shouldnt even question it, just add it as a need to her IEP. I also had a bag of books that I kept in Chase's back pack and the bus aide knew she was suspose to get out and read with Chase to keep hiim intersted and occupied, made the time fly for him and hey, reading with them is educational! Every week I switched the books so he didnt get bored. We tried sendig a car he loved too but the first time he threw it, that was finished forever, he could have hurt someone. Good idea about the no window seat, but in our case it was because he threw things out the window, books, and of course his shoes and socks!!!!!!(never ever failed and if you want to tick off a bus driver make him have to turn around and go back for shoes and socks in traffic) I hope the problem is solved for you and Erin, a bump on the head is horrible and no way acceptable, poor sweetie pie! hugs to you my friend, Robin |
|
The bus is causing way more stress and aggrevation that it's worth...and yes, maybe it's providing a sense of independence but I'm not sure it's worth it for the 8 minutes of a ride? OR, definitely get a separate monitor and don't feel guilty about it at all because the existing "monitor" does NOTHING. (At least in my experience). So, in my opinion, this is not even about Erin and her needs; this is about the lack of support being provided to her. Support that should be there and isn't. 
