Noah does indeed have ds

[Chris too]

I thought I'd post another pic of Stevie, but it would be almost identical to the Brookster above & Jennifer also said all I'd have said - I've never heard a negative word, but lots, and lots of people (at least half of them complete strangers) want to steal her from us. We get offers to take her home weekly. She is well-loved & adored by all. Maybe it's where I live, or that she's exceptionally social (waves & talks to just about anyone & wants to be held by any burly man she sees), but she wins them all over. I try to tell people that she has Ds because I want their positive experience to be linked to their knowledge of Ds, to improve their opinion of Ds and the people who have it.

One other thing I want to add. After my initial adjustment to the knowledge of Ds, I had no further trouble with sorrow until a pregnant woman in my church said "I don't care about whether I have a boy or a girl, as long as it's healthy" I asked her, "What if it's not? What if your child has Ds?" I know it was mean, but she knew that Stevie has Ds. She was mortified & escaped me as soon as she could. I don't blame her.

It is not wrong to want a "healthy" baby. It is also not wrong to want, specifically, a boy, or a girl, or one with curls for that matter. As long as we are wishing for that which we cannot control, wish big. In the end, the truth is as you said yourself: it is what it is. I'm sure that with that acceptance will come contentment. I look forward to reading about this emotional transformation regarding your view of Noah. He is adorable in every way & he's yours.

[sandi]

Gee, I think the only time now I get teary eyed is when new moms join a group and tell their stories. I was once there 10 months ago. Like everyone says, one day you wont feel the way you do. Of course I am sure we all feel like, its to bad it happened, but hey, its the way it is, and we have all learned that they are our little babies, (kids) and there isnt much different about them only that it will take them longer to do things, and yes some have health issues. Your little Noah will make you a better and stronger person. Just remember, God doesnt give us more than we can handle. You will soon look at all the great things your Noah has done for you and others in your life. How he has changed so many things for the better. He will soon smile at you, and giggle with you, and look into your eyes and show you how much he loves you. You will look back at him with big smiles and hug him tight. You will get there, we all have. I wish everyone I have met lived right next door to me. I have found so much support and friendship through these groups. It has made things so much better for me. I dont feel like I am the only one with a DS child. The world of DS has become so much closer to me and I truly love being in this world now. I took me awhile to go out with Cassie. Especially to my old workplace. I didnt know what to do or say. I finally went because they messed up on my sears order and I had to go to the dept store to pick it up, and I wasnt even with Cassie. I felt to awkward going there. But when I met my old buddies, and chatted away about Cassie and saw that I was making a bigger deal out of it than they were. It started to change the way I thought. Now I take her out and dont even think about things. It took awhile, but now its all good. I am so proud of my little girl that I love so much. Shes really no different than any other child. Take care, big hugs to you and your family.

[jelanismom]

I can't watch those shows I used to love when I was pregnant about birth stories and motherhood, becuase I just can't relate and it hurts me that I didn't ever get that moment or that experience of just pure joy and pride.

Jessika, I used to watch those shows "after" Jelani was born, and I envied those moms who gave birth while awake and had family helping them push and seeing the amazing miracle of their baby being born and then holding him on their chest...

I didn't experience that, I was in the ICU on oxygen and my baby in critical condtion in the Nicu not expected to live=I woke days later alone in a room of nurses speaking a foreign language and a small snap shot of my baby on the hospital bed post.

This is why I envied those moms...for how they had the chance to experience the birth of their baby...I didn't have this chance, but I'm thankful we're both alive, and the 3 months following his birth were touch and go as to whether or not he'd make it. But I never envied those moms because their baby didn't have Ds.

Down syndrome is just that, a syndrome....not a disease, not mental illness, not disfiguration, not life threatening. Your precious baby will do everything all children do, in due time...on his timetable.
Yes, it's hard work but you'll be even more in love with your baby because of this...you'll grow fonder of him, more accepting of trial and error as you develop patience you never had before, as you savor his milestones with more excitement and amazement, yes everything will take longer and so what, I say.

This child is going to bring you more love than anything you could ever have imagined and you'll be the envy of other moms...just wait and see...nothing about Noah or any of our kiddos w/ Ds makes them incapable, less than amazing...if anything they are MORE amazing! JMO and (((hugs)))

D~

[char]

Jessika, I haven't got anything to add other than introduce myself. I'm Char, and my granddaughter, Abby, has Ds. She will be three in June, and I adore her. If I could reach out and hug you, I would. My position is so very different than a parent's yet these folks have made me feel so welcomed, so comfortable.

I hope you'll hang out here with everyone and allow them to walk with you....one day at a time.

Char

[Cbean]

Dear Jessika,

I wish I could sit across a table and share a cup of coffee with you. My name is Christine. I am a very proud mother to Ryan - 8 - 2nd grade, Emily - 3 - pre-k - chromosonally enhanced and Julia - almost 5 months. (Did ya notice that some of us keep havin' kids after the one's with DS?)

I found Uno while I was pregnant after an amnio result. I thought all the very same things...face it, we all did. This isn't something we asked for. I know it wasn't on my Christmas list. Don't be ashamed. My advice to you is to vent it. Get it out. Then you can heal. Face it...you planned and developed expectations. I was so pathetic when I was pregnant. Many a pity party there, thank you. I kept saying "why me?" Then after Emily was about three weeks old, I had her on the changing table. (I was so afraid of her - like she was going to explode or something!) So as I'm changing her daiper she is just beaming at me - the most beautiful, charming smile. There were those words again "why me" - only said in a very different tone.

I'm not going to sugar coat it. Being the proud recipient of one of these hidden gems isn't always going to be easy. Some days it may flat out suck. But this baby will change you. You'll see. In fact this baby was about to change you regardless of Down Syndrome. In a way, I think you're lucky that this is your first. Now as I watch my daughter Julia reaching milestones, I am so incredibly amazed at things I totally took for granted the first time with Ryan. I know so much more about how a baby develops thanks to all Emily's therapy. However, everything with Emily is still so much sweeter because we have to work at it and because it takes longer. She's made me a better Mom.

By the way, I wasn't planning on Julia. When I found out I was pregnant, after I got over the shock, I became so fearful that I'd have another with DS. I didn't go with any of the prenatal testing. Call it a boycot if you will. My love for my daughter Emily made me forgo it all. It made for a better pregnancy - much better this time around to just think of it as a baby. Didn't even find out the sex until she was born. It was so amazing!!! I call her the gift with purchase.

It wasn't that long ago that I was so grief stricken, scared and sad. Don't spend too much time being depressed. Babies with DS tend to be real easy...I have a friend who calls them the best mid-life baby! I say they're easy at any age. They tend to be easy going, smile earlier and sleep through the night earlier. Emily started sleeping through the night at 3 weeks? Good girl. So try to heal, so you can enjoy that baby. Noah is your son, don't miss out on too much. They do grow and they do it quickly.

I recently went to a Taro Card reader. It was just for fun. I took the things she told me lightly. Except for one thing. When she spoke about Emily, she said "people like Emily are closer to the metaphysical realm than we are. She is what we all strive to be...closer to God, not so dependant on the materialist and unimportant things we get caught up in. They don't get caught up in all the mundane that we do." Hmm, makes you think doesn't it? Who's the lesser person, right? Remember, life's a bigger plan and it's not always about us.

I'm glad you found Uno. There's some very special people here. They will always be special in my heart because they turned me around and helped me get excited about my baby's arrival. Well yours is already here - pretty soon he's gonna flash you a toothless grin and I expect you'll probably just melt. You'll find your love is unconditional...you just have to get past some of the hurt first. Recently someone pulled up my very first post...it was wild to think how different it was three years ago. I have been through a lot with Emily. She's definately made me a better person.

Reach out to us here. That's why we're here. PM me if you'd like...I'd love to hear more. I'd love to see a pic. Babies are so cute...but babies with DS tend to be even cuter!

Be kind to yourself. Remember we're all human. So's that little baby of yours. His little chromosomes just didn't get the message that less is more!

Christine

[sandi]

Its so nice to see pics of all your kids... It brings tears to my eyes. I cant wait till Cassie gets bigger. I saw Cassie in the pic of Brook smiling back at me. I cant wait till she gets that age. Sniff sniff.