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survey
Feb 20, 2008 22:04:05 GMT -5
Post by victoriasdad on Feb 20, 2008 22:04:05 GMT -5
we were talking on another board about the treatment of our kids by typical kids in school, how many people feel that their children (with d.s.) are picked on, or abused by typical kids at school, and if so how did u deal with the situation? what support did u get from the school, teachers principal ect...? was it grudgenyly given or do u believe the support was given because they truly wanted to fix the problem also, does anyone have any ideas on how to get the schools to view the term retard as a hate word and ban its use in all schools, maybe someone can make a form letter or email that we can all copy and send to the school boards, administrators ect..
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survey
Feb 20, 2008 22:09:06 GMT -5
Post by faithhope on Feb 20, 2008 22:09:06 GMT -5
Wow this really touches my heart. This is something I worry about so much for the future of my baby. It disgusts me to think about Noah being teased. I have so far tried to concentrate on the positive, so it is really sad to hear and realize that the truth is these very negative things to happen to our kids, just because they have ds! I will try to think of something to write perhaps. Though I am certainly not experienced enough to do this. Take CAre, Jessika Sorry I didn't really answer your survey, my baby is only 2 months
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survey
Feb 20, 2008 22:18:30 GMT -5
Post by Connie on Feb 20, 2008 22:18:30 GMT -5
Collin is in full inclusion in our local school and is love and accepted by all. We have never had a problem with someone bullying him its usually just the opposite. They want to baby him and do things for him. I like your idea about the schools looking at the word RETARD as a hate word. My oldest son (in 6th grade) called his English teacher out for using it. The teacher has never ever used it again in his presence. And whats even worse than a teach using it is that he didn't even use in correctly (if you can use it correctly)!!!! Connie
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survey
Feb 20, 2008 22:22:54 GMT -5
Post by Emilysmom on Feb 20, 2008 22:22:54 GMT -5
I'm really not aware of ANY situations when my daughter has been teased or abused in any way at school in the 11 years she has been in school. She attended a school that was kindergarten-8th grade, and we had a good relationship with the teachers and principal at the school. IF anything had happened, I believe they would have worked well with us to make sure it didn't continue.
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survey
Feb 20, 2008 22:41:24 GMT -5
Post by steffaroni on Feb 20, 2008 22:41:24 GMT -5
Hi!!!! Haven't been here in a while and just thought I'd pop in to this post. My name is Steff mom to 10 year old olivia. Olivia has been at our home school for 6 years from kindergarten till now 5th grade and my baby is graduating to middle school. So here from my perspective. First off Olivia came to our home school when I dropped off my son for 2 years prior to her arrival at our home school. (she did kindergarten her first year in a sp ed class at a different school and repeated kinder fully included at our home school. ) So to make a long story longer she was fully included in the morning reg ed kinder and in the afternoon went to the first thru 5th grade yard . So in her first year there she got to know not only the kinder kids but the older kids so by the time she was in first grade she was known by both groups. She did morning in sp ed class and lunch and afternoon with the first graders and so on thru the years. She has participated in christmas each year with her classes and there was when she was in kinder a problem with the teacher wanting her and the aide to stand off to the side but her aide and the sp ed teacher that she went to in the afternoon said no way she'll do fine and after sweating thru the first performance she did great and knew all the words and motions and got so many accolades from everyone for her fine performances. Had we not all insisted she participate like all the other kids we may have set a precedent for her thruout her school years there. lol a precedent .... Now after her fabulous kinder experience with full iunclusion with really amazing supports(her old sp ed teacher now teaches sp ed teachers how to fully include kids within the public school system and man this lady is fierce... lol)the school really had no other way but to accept her as she was there and there to stay and thankfully a really cool social kid . Now these last few years she has had kids tease her but her school won't put up with junk like that and I taught Liv how to stand up for herself which sometimes she does a little too well. Now mind you she has had the same aides since first grade and they are like her second mothers and always teach the kids who have a word to say to :Liv thats rude. They love her as much as I and watch out for her like a hawk and I resisted them like crazy when I found out one was coming to her class and look how times change. Me thinx one wants to follow Liv thruout her education she keeps asking bout what school next year etc lol she even tells me man I can't stand it I know where you live I wanna go with her....Olivia also has great friends from a lot of classes as she has gotten the priveledge of participating in the magnet side of our schools performing arts programs so she also gets to mingle with those kids as well and do plays and musicals. man its a hoot and she is darned good. and funny with her dramatic thank thank thank you bow after bow after bow. lol Its been a long road and man u will never ever feel the kinda way u will when your kids tells u someone called them a name but teach your child to stand up for themselves appropriately mind you. lol never mind that lol... just really remember the appropriately... Take care hope that long winded post helped. But having Olivia in our home school from kindeer thru 5th grade not only got the kids at school just used to her and ds but also our community. I can proudly say that I feel so safe in our community whereby the neighborhood has kinda taken Liv on as their own. Think in this HUGE Los Angeles area we have a tight knit little spot tucked right by the beach and lax and we love it. (((HUGS))) Steff
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survey
Feb 20, 2008 23:14:26 GMT -5
Post by ALLISA on Feb 20, 2008 23:14:26 GMT -5
You must have seent his befoire, right ? I know I saw it here before.... www.youtube.com/watch?v=CoqaNG0Ozqc He is well on his way to getting the word banned..... Erin is 8.....and I have to say......we've never really had an issue....once.......when she was a baby......I heard a young boy tell his friend that he thought she was "funny looking".....and it broke my heart into pieces....... more so because it was sad to me that someone would make fun of a baby ( and I personally think that is more of a poor-paretning/lack of respect issue)......but......for that one moment of sadness.....I've had COUNTLESS numbers of kids seek her out, and want to play with her and tell me how cute she is. I have only seen respect in all our elementary classes for ALL students. I TRULY believe schools are developing a no teasing policy and want it whole-heartedly. I think it is important that all kids have respect and courtesy for each other. I tell my kids " You don't need to be best friends with everyone, but you do need to be polite, nice and respectful to everyone" That is all any of us want.
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survey
Feb 20, 2008 23:19:28 GMT -5
Post by victoriasdad on Feb 20, 2008 23:19:28 GMT -5
this is what one mother wrote to me, i guess i was living in a fantasy world, i had never heard of anyone being mean to one of our kids in school, "kids can be evil. poor jessica has been tortured by so many kids. she does have a few friends, but as she gets older in school the kids get more and more cruel. we've had boys getting her to pull her shirt up, kids telling her to lick dirty paint brushes, kids telling her they'd be her boyfriend if she ate some jalapenos, kids taking her stuff away from her and making her cry. so no the kids at school don't "rally around" the kids with downs. most kids at jessica's school are only nice to her because they fear getting in trouble (the last kid that was mean to her got suspended for three days).
this may sound shallow, but the best thing you can do for your kid in school is make sure there is as little as possible to pick on. they have to dress perfect, look perfect, have the best school supplies, the coolest shoes etc... kids are materialistic little punks and all they care about is image. if a kid has something that's cool they'll rally around them.
i've found that the majority of the kids that are really and truly nice to jessica are the ones from our church. i guess it's cause they're used to seeing kids that are different and they know that God isn't pleased when kids are cruel to each other. "
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survey
Feb 20, 2008 23:24:03 GMT -5
Post by Renee' on Feb 20, 2008 23:24:03 GMT -5
I have always dressed Lauren to the tee. She has a great haircut. She has good teeth. She has nice glasses. The children she is surrounded by are pretty loving toward her. Of course they get a kick out of the fact they can tell her to act silly and she will. Even at the old daycare she attended the kids loved her.
Oh, I despise the r word.
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survey
Feb 20, 2008 23:27:39 GMT -5
Post by Googsmom aka Jennifer on Feb 20, 2008 23:27:39 GMT -5
I think it's all about the parenting!!!!!!!
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survey
Feb 20, 2008 23:30:28 GMT -5
Post by Renee' on Feb 20, 2008 23:30:28 GMT -5
Wow, I just watched that video. Incredible!
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survey
Feb 21, 2008 9:33:18 GMT -5
Post by Jackie on Feb 21, 2008 9:33:18 GMT -5
If Emily was ever teased or taunted I was never aware of it. She was never aware of it either. She was fully included all the way through HS, too. As I mom of four grown kids I can say that taunting and bullying of typical kids is rampant in most schools these days....sadly. My kids...Emily included...attended public schools in a nice part of town. I can remember the girls coming home and being upset about comments about their hair...bows...jewelry...etc. Jealous comments and thinking how mean some girls were these days. But when Em was there...she was totally happy...no one ever came to me and filled me in on inappropriate behaviors, nor did the counselors ever think it was a problem. I often ran into some of her typical peers who told me that Em was doing great...looked good...and hoped she was enjoying HS.
On the other hand Em was never singled out like some kids with disabilities are in other schools. Never given any special awards or extra efforts to help her fit in. She just blended in like most everyone else and that is really what we wanted for her...happily lost in the crowd.
This is not really answering the survey...but I think it pertains to it and might give some people hope for the future.
Jackie
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survey
Feb 21, 2008 9:57:39 GMT -5
Post by momofrussell on Feb 21, 2008 9:57:39 GMT -5
I can honestly say I am not aware of Russell ever being picked on or teased at school. As he gets older and his "deficits" are more apparent to his peers, I do see stares but that comes with the age group and I really don't read into why or give it much thought...If I got worked up everytime I THOUGHT someone might be doing something to slight DS, I'd be nuts! LOL I walk through Russell's school proud of who he is, and I know the kids seek him out and love him too! The schools Russell has been in have really been good with this.
Now... this isn't saying something might happen in the future..epsecially say in Middle school and high school, but if you think about it, teasing and bullying happen to even typical kids, my oldest included. She has had a couple instances with some mean girls at our old Middle school (the last district we were in) and well, that is life of a Middle School girl... it SUCKS and you get teased and you deal with it. I think the same will pertain to Russell... if it does happen we will handle it as best we can but so far, it's never happened.
A.
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survey
Feb 21, 2008 19:11:43 GMT -5
Post by elizabethsmom on Feb 21, 2008 19:11:43 GMT -5
my daughter is only 11 months old so obviously not in school and I don't know what that will bring with children her age. I can say that she is at the high school A LOT with her siblings and all of the kids there are very protective of her. Even though she wouldn't understand it, the kids don't use the R word (and I noticed this AFTER I mentioned it ONE time to a student! I have not ever heard it from any of them again!) We live in a small community and the kids all seem to be very tolerant and supportive. There is a student in our high school who is deaf and has went to school with these kids all of his life. Nobody gives him a hard time. He is very popular. Not the same thing I know, but they could have chosen to be mean to him. I also agree it has a lot to do with the parenting. If the kids display that kind of behavior, chances are the parents do also. (or at least they tolerate it from their kids, just as bad). So far the only person we've had this problem with is my sister (of all people, eh?) She informed me just last week that I am "making Elizabeth a Retard" because of the way I baby her. (did I mention she's an 11 month old BABY?) and that if Elizabeth grew up to be a Retard it would be my fault. This occurred after I ask her to stop using that word for about the 100th time. She said "I'm not using it at her. It also means Stupid" Needless to say, BIG discussion, big argument (sp?).
Sorry so long...but it's not only kids who can be mean. So far in our experience, THEY'RE the tolerant, kind ones.
Sheryl
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survey
Feb 21, 2008 19:14:08 GMT -5
Post by elizabethsmom on Feb 21, 2008 19:14:08 GMT -5
BTW this from a college educated woman! I sent her the online dictionary definition.
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survey
Feb 21, 2008 20:02:17 GMT -5
Post by laurasnowbird on Feb 21, 2008 20:02:17 GMT -5
Hmmm, this is one of the things I used to have a strong fear about, but time and experience have thus far proved my fears to be groundless.
My oldest, who is one of those kids who is so smart that it's scary....who was being recruited by the nuclear engineering dept. of the University of Michigan, was horribly teased in middle school. It was so bad that we transferred him to a private Catholic school and paid big bucks for his high school years. It was one of the best investments we've ever made. He was teased because he was so SMART!!!
Ethan, on the other hand, is only in his first year of "regular" school, but he is loved by all the kids. The principal jokes that he is the most popular kid in school, and said that the first grade teachers are already arguing over who is going to get him next year. She's say she's told them that she can be bribed....LOL!!!
So honestly, I think it is a bad idea to assume that our kids will be teased simply because they have DS. It may turn out to be totally the opposite!!!
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