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Post by faithhope on Feb 26, 2008 20:33:53 GMT -5
Hi it's been a few hours since my last question ;D thought I was due for a few more. So here we go. Do your kids with Ds notice people staring at them? What do they think of that really? How do they react? Do their siblings notice? How do they feel about it? This is something I have wondered since day one. I was emailing a friend I met online who's 4 year old has ds and she mentioned that when she notices people staring at him she will immediately hug him and kiss him to show them that he is loved and that usually changes there attitude. Also another question, which some I believe have already heard and answered from me is: Were you afraid to meet other Ds families at first? How did that finally play out? WEre your fears justified, ( like being hurt and saddened more by what you saw, etc)? Again, I hope I am not hurting anyone by my questions. This is just the tip of the iceburg for me, I want to just prepare myself. Thank you all for your help always, Love, Jessika and Noah Also I have new pics of Noah I would love to put at least one in my post. Can anyone tell me how to do that. Or how to us a picture to add with my name ( that shows everytime I post)? Hope that makes sense.
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Post by steffaroni on Feb 26, 2008 20:51:29 GMT -5
OMG When someone stares at Olivia she LMAO looks right at em then gives em this funny stare right back at em its soooooooooooooo funny..... swear I never taught her that but its a hoot. steff
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Post by steffaroni on Feb 26, 2008 20:51:55 GMT -5
will be back later to answer the rest Steff
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Post by sandi on Feb 26, 2008 21:38:07 GMT -5
LOL.. thats funny Steff.......... the question I can answer is I couldnt wait to find parents with DS kids. I got the number from a couple that live not to far away from me and we went over to visit them. Her daughter is 2yrs old now... so a year and a bit older than Cassie. It was different going to see another child with DS, but I am glad I did. All children are different with DS, so you get to see the different stages they are with age and the different qualities they have. I havent been back since the first time I went over, but who knows, maybe I will. I did meet a wonderful couple that has a daughter with DS who is a bit younger than Cassie. We have become very close now and I cant wait to see them again when we go for a follow up dr.'s appointment for Cassies heart. I wish they lived closer to us, thats for sure. Joining these groups have helped me so much and I would love to meet another couple anytime. Everyone just seems to live so far away from me. I knew I needed to meet other parents and children like Cassie. Its all part of the support process.
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Post by tiffany on Feb 26, 2008 21:46:49 GMT -5
To answer your first ?, I dont know if Leah notices it or not. All I know is that she thinks everyone loves her! I think the older she gets, she will notice more. When she was just a newborn, I got some great advice... Treat her like she is an angel, and others will take their cues from you. If you treat Noah like a king, others will usually do the same. I know you will always have the occational jerk, but most people are good and kind! I was never affraid of meeting other families, but I can understand your fears. Every family I have ever met has actually eased my fears!! People with Ds usually do very well. And the rest of the fam. are compassionate, giving, and well adjusted people. It helped me to realize that this would not destroy my other kids, it would bring out the best in them! Tiffany
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Post by laurasmom on Feb 26, 2008 21:52:39 GMT -5
When Laura was born, my first contact with another mom was the nurse anesthetist that assisted in her surgery, she had a son with DS. When Laura was 3 months old I went to my first DS group event, the annual Christmas party. Mike didn't want to go, but I went ahead. I walked into a huge room packed with people. At first I couldn't tell which kids had DS, they were all running, laughing, having a good time. I was immediately surrounded by several other moms, and Laura made the rounds. I lasted about 30 minutes, at that point that was all I could take. I left, but I kept going back to the meetings and parties, and being part of a support system such as that has become a necessary part of my life, both on line and in person.
And yes, people do stare at Laura. It used to bother me, now not as much. Laura sometimes will stare back at them, I used to stop her, but now I don't. One time when I did tell her to stop staring, she said "well he is staring at me". I looked at the man, shrugged my shoulders, and said "okay". I guess I am just either immune or accustomed to it. It doesn't seem to bother Laura. Sometimes it does bother her sister, not making her embarrassed, but Kelly comes back with more of a "how rude" attitude.
Keep the questions coming!! Sharon
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Post by momofrussell on Feb 26, 2008 21:59:53 GMT -5
Russell doesn't notice that other kids stare at him but that's just Russell. All kids are different. I have read that some kids DO notice. I think it all depends on the child. I was never afraid of meeting other parents/families w/DS. When I was pregnant we were introduced to a wonderful family through friends and we still exchange Christmas cards to this day! They really were a very down to earth family. We went to their house and ate pizza and it was just like hanging out with a family of 4. The DS wasn't really "noticable" in that sense...it was just a normal family day in their house eating pizza with us and I loved that about that meeting. It's was nice, simple and the same as our family! They just so happened to also have a son who had DS. I have since met bunches of wonderful families, plenty from Uno here even! We even have travled quite a bit with a few of the families here!!! ;D To be honest, I feel most comfy around families who have kids w/spec needs. I think they "get us" sometimes better then the next family. Not that we are complicated or anything...it's just more comfy sometimes. It's like an unsaid appreciation for the special needs community and all we go through together. It's comforting to me! As far as the pics go. You need a photo hosting site... use photobucket www.photobucket.com Then upload the pics. After that there will be different lines below each pic, the IMG code one... copy that whole line (code) and paste it into the body of text here and that should do it A.
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Post by Emilysmom on Feb 26, 2008 22:20:13 GMT -5
Jessika, I'd love to be able to tell you that no one has ever stared at Emily. And, sigh......I'd really love to be able to tell you that I've handled things brilliantly at times when someone has stared at her. I can share some really funny (and embarassing too!) experiences with how I've handled it at times! I've watched Emily over the years to see how SHE reacts to people looking at her, and she almost never seems to notice. I can only remember a couple of times when she has looked like she felt uncomfortable with the way someone was looking at her. She has never said a word about it. Although Emily has a very shy nature, I really do think her self esteem is good!! I'm sure I've posted this several times before. When Em was about 18 months old, I was pushing her in a stroller in a mall. I know I'm not an unbiased judge, but I thought she was the cutest child in the mall!!! As we walked along, a woman and her young daughter were walking toward us. They were both staring right at Emily, and talking between themselves. It broke my heart!!!! I continued walking, while thinking of all sorts of things I could say to them when they got close enough to me! And then, the woman walks right up to me and said "Did you realize that she has lost one of her shoes" ?? (pointing to Emily's foot, which was missing one shoe!) I was so relieved, thanked the woman, and proceeded to retrace my steps to find Emily's shoe. What they noticed was a child with one missing shoe..........not the Ds. That's just one example. SO many times, when people stare, it isn't a negative thing at all. They might be thinking of someone they know and love who has Ds and noticing a similarity. Susan
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Post by Googsmom aka Jennifer on Feb 26, 2008 23:21:47 GMT -5
Brook is still to young to know what she thinks of people staring at her. I have never noticed anyone really STARING at her for any reason other that she's just to darn cute I don't care what anyone who walks by us thinks. That is their buisness, I have my buisness Everyone we pass in my little town already knows Brook. From all the lady's at the bank, everyone at the post office, the little old lady who walks her dog by work everyday has to see her, grocery store, etc and they all just love her. Always buying her treats and presents. It's becoming rediculous I tell them they really should stop, she will expect it everytime. They don't care, who am I, just the momma As far as what does the sister think. She shows her off more than anyone. Always wanting her to come to school to play. All the kids just love her. Always wanting to hold her and "fighting" w/ each other of who held her longer this day and who she sat w/ at the v-ball game and who gets a picture for their locker etc.. Sister's locker is full of pictures of her little sister. Pure love I was not afraid to meet other families. We all had a picnic last July and had a great time. We are going to do it every year now. Wanna come? A little boy lives 3 doors down and a little girl lives across the street. We have alot of special kids here in my tiny town. I think last count was like 20 that just Brooks PT works w/. I'm sure there are more There is a DS pre-school that is right up the road at the high school. That's where Brook will go Your questions are great. I don't mind them a bit and i'm positive no one else out here does either. We love talking about our kids.
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Post by Myria on Feb 27, 2008 0:32:20 GMT -5
Wow Brook looks so much like her sister! So cute!
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Post by Connie on Feb 27, 2008 5:22:52 GMT -5
Jessika, Susan made a really good point. Not all staring is bad and I am one of the worst offenders. I love to look at people!!! Collin is 8 and I still get excited seeing people with DS. I love to watch the way they move and how they are react to things and people. I've really seen quiet a few hysterical personalities and sense of humors that are to die for. While I do know that people can stare for bad reasons I have never experienced that. Most people are just curious and I just smile at them. I want them to know it's ok to come and ask me questions because I feel this is one way others are going to come to accept Collin and others like him. As far as meeting other families....LOL I'm not a shy person so I usually just walk up to complete strangers and start talking away...(Something you tell your kids to never ever do!!!) Keep them coming Connie
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Post by Tammy on Feb 27, 2008 5:55:42 GMT -5
Susan has made the BEST point here...
In the early stages, I think we all become consumed with the diagnosis of "Down Syndrome", we start to reaearch, we find out things, we start to know things, we worry about things and in the end, we become totally focussed on Down Syndrome, and worry about health, the future, ourselves, our image, what other people think. "Down Syndrome" seems to take over our whole life. We think about it ALL the time... And start to believe that that is what EVERYONE else sees... and tend to forget that we have a new baby, who will grow into an infant, then a toddler, then a child...that will lose shoes in a shopping mall, that will trip on the kerbing, that will fall off their bicycle, that will be scared of the dark, that will tease his sisters, that will break his arm while playing on the swings...that will do pretty much anything that ANY child will do.
I really think that it is the parents that "suffer" from Down Syndrome... our kids just happen to have it, they dont suffer at all.
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Post by Connie on Feb 27, 2008 6:46:08 GMT -5
Bravo Tammy.... Well said!! Connie
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Post by katiesmom on Feb 27, 2008 8:35:11 GMT -5
So far Katie hasn't noticed anyone starring at her, but she's only 6 and pretty self-absorbed. We have, of course, had many experiences with people starring and when I catch their eye they almost always smile back in a friendly way.....I chalk it up to being curious, or maybe they know someone with Ds. We've really only had one bad experience with someone starring/glarring in a rude manner. I have to admit, that like Connie, I am one of the worst offenders. I just want to watch the interactions going on when I see someone with Ds out with their family. If Katie is with me, then I will usually go over and introduce myself, but if I'm alone I usually don't. One day in Walmart there was this rough-looking family of bikers...leather jackets, tatoos, metal studs, long wild hair, and smelling of smoke.....I was mesmerized by a 30-something year old man with Ds who was among them...he looked just like them with the long hair, leather jacket, and a fu-manchu!!!! Oh my, I stalked that group from isle to isle just to listen to them and spy on them! Lol! Eventually I rounded a corner and came face-to-face with the man with Ds, he said:"Hi!" and I said "Hi!" then he walked away with his biker-buddies. It totally MADE my day! Deane
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Post by Googsmom aka Jennifer on Feb 27, 2008 8:37:13 GMT -5
Yes Tammy, Well said Brooks Daddy always says "She (Brook) doesn't know she has DS, she just knows she's Brookster." We must of posted at the same time Deane. Being a "biker" myself I know first hand of the love we have for all people. I'm so glad you had a good interaction w/ the bikers at walmart. That could of been me walking around w/ my leather jacket w/ all my 15 tattoos w/ Brooker in tow making goo-goo noises and loving all over her w/ milk in one hand cookies int he other, and i'm far from scary That made my morning
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