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Post by elizabethsmom on Feb 29, 2008 9:49:02 GMT -5
Jessika,
I am a Labor and Delivery RN. Although not qualified to give medical advise (obviously), I must agree that you should seek some advise from your OB. It IS natural to feel many of the things you're feeling, however, you seem to be feeling them longer without the added feelings of happiness in between. PPD can be a very serious issue, it can be harmful to you and to your child. It affects your entire family thru you. I urge you to call your doctor RIGHT AWAY. It is not something to be ashamed of. It is a TRUE medical diagnosis (not "all in your head" and you cannot overcome it with "mind over matter". There is a physical reason for it, not just emotional. Please call. Sheryl
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Post by Connie on Feb 29, 2008 10:04:50 GMT -5
Jessika, Dolly made me think of something when talking about looks. You will probably thing I'm twisted and not in my right mind!!! You won't be the first or last!! A few months after Collin was born there was a show on PBS about a family that did cosmetic surgery on their 3 y.o. to get rid of the characteristics of DS because they believed him to be "HIGH FUNCTIONING" and they did not want people to treat him differently or judge him. I found this so wrong on so many levels!! There are days that you can't tell Collin has DS then there are days it jumps right out at you. To be honest I am glad and thankful for his features. Because while Collin is doing great and going to do great things, I have to be honest and say he will struggle with certain things, he will have little quirks, not be as emotionally mature as his peers and so on. These are not bad things...just things I am being honest about. (I digressed sorry)....But I believe that because of his features people will be more understanding and compassionate because they can see that Collin has DS and this gives them a reason and understanding of how and why he does some of the things the does. Another example...my mother has cared for children in her home for over 40 years. Be believes in firm discipline but is very loving. She is quick to point out a child is just bad and blames it on the parents for bad parenting. She did this one day to a boy who looked very "typical" talking about how bad the parents where for not making him mind and letting him act that way. I proceed to point out to her that she did not know the circumstances and that actually this child was disabled....he had autism!! But, you could not tell this by his looks. I feel the DS features are Gods way of giving other clues on how to handle our kids. They tend to be more compassionate and understanding. I have rambled and I'm not even sure I made my point... Connie
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Post by sandi on Feb 29, 2008 10:21:33 GMT -5
Jessika, I had a fear all my life that , what if I had a child with a disability, I would never be able to do it, I would have to give it up. Well here I am almost 11 months later, and she is the joy of my life. Time heals, and you start to see things in a different way. God allowed this to happen to you for many reasons. You will slowly start to see why, and put the pieces together. This will make you a stronger person, and put those other fears you had all your life away. You will start to enjoy taking Noah places and the DS will be apart of your life, yes, but it will be put behind you in ways. We all understand how you are feeling. People deal with things in different ways. I was depressed for over a month where I didnt want to go out, eat, or just deal with life period. I slowly came out of it though. You will too. I made the bigger deal out of DS than any other person around me. Now its not a big deal at all. I am sure through life things will get a bit tough off and on as she grows up, but I will deal with that too. If you have msn messenger, you can add me,, sandimike7@hotmail.com yahoo is, s_williams67... would love to chat with you anytime.
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Post by jelanismom on Feb 29, 2008 11:29:31 GMT -5
Hi Jessika, Wow this thread is looong....lol, I want to read all your replies but I'm sick today and lazy but I'll get to it eventually...so if I repeat something someone said I wouldn't know...so meanwhile...
I can say, truthfully and honestly we've all been there to some degree at one point or another...it's all a part of this new life and new realization that your job (and ours too of course!) is to be the best moms (and dads) that we can...there isn't a thomas guide or instruction manual on HOW should I feel...or WHAT will I feel...just remember that it's ALL perfectly NORMAL and if you feel it's depressing....it's all about what we all go through in the beginning when the dx of Ds is given, to some degree or another...and we are all here in it together to help eachother.
I for one need advice on so many issues about my son. I'm looking forward to him getting more verbal and his gradeschool years...but I'm scared a bit too...I guess I never admit it to myself...you know, being a mom of a special child isn't easy, others may not relate/can't, and I feel blessed to be at this forum. It's comforting to seek advice from those who have been in our shoes. Well, you have new shoes on ;D so just hang in there and feel however you do, w/o guilt, and bring it to us because all in all it's only natural what your feeling and I for one will attest to it. I don't feel as badly now though, it's all about perception...I "see" my son playing and having friends, therefore he "will" by all my power...and I "see" my son reading and doing his homework...and he "will" oneday. Ok I'll get down off my soapbox for now...lol ;D
Just keep posting, smiling, crying if you need to, and most importantly envisioning the positives about your precious son that WILL happen in due time with all his awesome mom's help! Nobody said it would be easy, and nobody can tell you you are right or wrong for how you feel...it's just a different road with the same scenery that you actually have to stop and look at longer than other roads...and a more spectacular one at that. Enjoy all the wonders of your son...nothing in life is worth anything w/o work and we all can agree with this...we are so much stronger because of our kiddos and savor their accomplishments and milestones that much more because of it... hugs D~
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Post by twosomy21 on Feb 29, 2008 12:26:32 GMT -5
please yeild all this great advice and i have been there , this is a life your going to have to adapt to and it is not written anywhere that you need to have did it when that son of yours entered this world(typical births included) take your time and both of you will be fine. take that trip with your family-life is too short and you have potential to share a great weekend together please go for it and i will be looking for your post about the trip,and you do not have to smile for anyone(give the baby a smile he deserves it) i hope you feel better and take care of yourself
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Post by Renee' on Feb 29, 2008 13:11:28 GMT -5
Not offended. I felt the same way from time to time. I would sit and wonder what Lauren would look like. How she would be treated. How was I going to handle raising a child with a disability. The list goes on..My husband even threatened to send me home to my mom because I was crying all the time before she was born and a few months after. As time passed everyone fell in love with her. My parents adore her. All the children in school know her. She just started dance class. She plays the piano. She is stubborn as hell. She challenges me in many ways. However, there isn't a day that goes by that she doesn't come to me and say she loves me and thank you for being my mommy. That is what brings a smile to my face.
One day at a time. That is the only thing all of us can do in this life.
Renee
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Post by katiesmom on Feb 29, 2008 14:25:50 GMT -5
Jessika, Russell's Mom was so right when she said that others will take their cues from you and your husband. We never had anyone skulk away or tell us they were sorry; we could see them all taking their cues from us.....and the congratulations came pouring in! God bless, Deane
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Post by mollysmomma on Feb 29, 2008 15:41:15 GMT -5
i remember holding on to the hope that mayyyyyyyyybe i had the one in a million amnio results that were WRONG! maybe they switched the tests!! and i remember my first thought after hearing the news...and that was WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK? funny to me now, cuz NEVER have i EVER cared what anyone thought about ANYTHING! but still...it was there. and i did my share of crying and asking the 'what ifs'...i think thats pretty natural and typical! talking about those feelings are not....it's hard to come right out and share your fears! that's what i love about uno. no matter WHAT i say...someone else has already BTDT and can make me feel normal again. (even when discussing the many many aspects of poop!) HA! (((((((((((((((hugz))))))))))))))))))) don't worry yourself sick...i know those feelings loom there in the back of your mind....but don't worry. Soon, you will start to see the beauty in ALL kids...little ones and grown ones, it's a great world to be apart of!
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