Post by TriciaF on Sept 28, 2004 23:36:51 GMT -5
CHILDREN AND THE CHURCH
A little boy was attending his first wedding.
After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man
marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had
an answer so quickly.
"How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said.
"All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said:
4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
--------
After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly
announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister When I
grow up."
"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"
"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday
anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit
and listen."
-----------
A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church
service: "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed
trash against us."
-------------
A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.
"How do you know what to say?" he asked.
"Why, God tells me."
"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"
--------------
A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on
and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered,
"Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"
--------------
After the christening of his baby brother in church,
little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought
up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"
---------------
Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their
favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed
four people on an
airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
The Flight to Egypt, was his reply.
Pointing at each figure, Ms. Terri said, "That must be Mary,
Joseph, and Baby Jesus. But who's the fourth person?"
"Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot.
--------------
The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do
you say prayers before eating?"
"No sir," little Johnny replies,
"I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook."
--------------
Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After a worship service at First
Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year
old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet.
About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you
don't be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to
start his sermon all over again!'
It worked."
------------
This is the best one A little girl was sitting on her
grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story.
From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book
and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately
stroking her own cheek, then his again.
Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while
ago."
Feeling their respective faces again, she observed,
"God's getting better at it, isn't he?"
-------------
Jeremiah 33:3
Every spiritual journey has the same destination; a meeting place
with God.
A little boy was attending his first wedding.
After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man
marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had
an answer so quickly.
"How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said.
"All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said:
4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
--------
After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly
announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister When I
grow up."
"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"
"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday
anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit
and listen."
-----------
A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church
service: "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed
trash against us."
-------------
A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.
"How do you know what to say?" he asked.
"Why, God tells me."
"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"
--------------
A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on
and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered,
"Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"
--------------
After the christening of his baby brother in church,
little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought
up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"
---------------
Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their
favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed
four people on an
airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
The Flight to Egypt, was his reply.
Pointing at each figure, Ms. Terri said, "That must be Mary,
Joseph, and Baby Jesus. But who's the fourth person?"
"Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot.
--------------
The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do
you say prayers before eating?"
"No sir," little Johnny replies,
"I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook."
--------------
Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After a worship service at First
Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year
old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet.
About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you
don't be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to
start his sermon all over again!'
It worked."
------------
This is the best one A little girl was sitting on her
grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story.
From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book
and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately
stroking her own cheek, then his again.
Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while
ago."
Feeling their respective faces again, she observed,
"God's getting better at it, isn't he?"
-------------
Jeremiah 33:3
Every spiritual journey has the same destination; a meeting place
with God.
