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Post by steffaroni on Jun 10, 2008 10:21:56 GMT -5
Ohhh dawn I am soooo sorry you are feeling like this. Especially where we are from "looks" are so very important. Kinda makes me ill thinking about it. My brother was a very different kinda guy and my Olivia gets the FAT comments too. Not sure why people equate difference with weird or abnormal. Right after my brother died I found a journal he had which he wrote some terribly sad comments about how he looked and how that affected how he "felt." Made me so sad. Right after that I wrote this poem. Here goes...
I wrote this after reading one of chris' journal entries in which he described himself as 'hideous' and the lonliness he felt because of it...And YES I was angry at society for how we treat those who are in their minds "different", me thinx you can hear the slight bitterness in my writing but I was so sad and mad when I wrote it.Kinda applies to your situation so thought I'd share.
EYE OF THE BEHOLDER
JUST WHO ARE YOU TO THINK THAT YOU HAVE GOT THE RIGHT TO TELL ME WHAT’S ‘COOL’, WHO’S ‘IN’; ‘NO SUCH THING AS TOO THIN’ AND WHAT DEFINES TRUE BEAUTY?
WHO ANNOINTED YOU TO BE JUDGE, EXECUTIONER AND JURY, OR DID YOU BUY THE RIGHT TO SAY; ‘YOUNG IS GREAT.OLD IS NOT.RICH YOUNG BLONDES WILL CALL THE SHOTS AND TO WHICH AMERICAN IDOLS WE PRAY?
DESIGNER-WEARING, LOGO-BEARING CONSUMERS OF YOUR LIES THE PERFECT DEMOGRAPHIC VEILED BEHIND A THIN DISGUISE
SUBLIMINAL IMPLICATIONS DRIFT ON SEDUCTIVELY-WHISPERED WINDS CASTING THE SEEDS OF ENOLESS SELF-DOUBT OVER THOSE WHO DON’T ‘FIT IN’
TO SOME IDEAL SO FAR FROM REAL ‘ARRIVED AT’ BY SOMEONE TOO DISTANCED FROM REALITY TO BE JUDGING ANYONE!
NOT EVERY WOMAN EVER BORN NEEDS TO LOOK LIKE A BARBIE-DOLL INSTEAD OF LOVING WHO SHE IS HER FAULTS, HER FLAWS AND ALL
ONE THING I LEARNED WHEN I WAS YOUNG- THAT GOD CREATED ALL, IF WE'RE MADE IN THE IMAGE AND LIKENESS OF GOD HIMSELF HOW UGLY CAN I BE???
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Post by jelanismom on Jun 10, 2008 12:43:19 GMT -5
Thankyou Steff That's really a very good poem, too deep for those pretentious folk but we won't go there. I feel badly that your brother passed and he wrote those things that you mentioned....not easy to swallow after reading it. I'm sorry. On an opposite note....we were at Venice Beach Sunday for the first time in a long while...just me and my little man Jelani. We ventured up and down the beach and past the shops and muscle beach etc...and to my pleasant suprise it seemed Jelani was in a favorable light with so many people....while sitting in his stroller we were passing people who smiled at him and one guy started blowing him kisses, another stopped to shake his hand. I was so happy to see this after a difficult week of rudeness. I suppose at Venice, being a melting pot of tourists, there's more or less of a mix and we saw more people happy to see him and not a soul was rude. Just wanted to share this. Steff......This coming 16th I take Jelani to UCLA to the Neuropsych Institute...he'll see doctor Shaw. Its a Genetic Behavioral Assessment to address his different sensory integration issues...and his stimming behaviors, etc. Maybe call me or email me....there was a time I think you mentioned this to me. His insurance BC -medi isn't accepted at UCLA since they dropped the contract with BC last year. There's a foundation "Lillian Claire" sp?that I was told will cover the visit. Thanks again all for your input...I don't believe it was a curiosity thing regarding the kid's rude comments...because they ran back to their friends laughing...like someone dared them to look at my son. But all your advice really helps, and so did our trip to Venice. Luv you guys, thankyou Now off I go to an IEP addendum mtg...oh yippee! Dawn
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Post by steffaroni on Jun 10, 2008 20:10:25 GMT -5
OMG Dawn they don't accept blue cross medi-cal at UCLA anymore BUT they switched my husband from B/C to Molina and they accepted Molina Medi-cal. Call Molina and tell them you wanna switch Jelani from B/C to Molina as he sees dr.'s at UCLA. RIDICULOUS they didn't change it over for you or have someone phone you. Thats all you'll need to do. Olivia has no HMO PPo just str8 medi-cal so she can go anywhere. Wonder why jelani doesn't have this. You may wanna ask but me thinx the easiest way is to change to molina call them tomorrow.That kinda stuff just miffs me dawn.
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Post by jelanismom on Jun 10, 2008 20:57:43 GMT -5
Steff I was told Str8 medical isn't accepted at UCLA either. You know The Jules Stein Eye Institute there? Well, Jelani had Dr. Demer for a couple years but then got dropped. Jelani has myopic dengeneration ...and now we're w/o an eyedoc. (we moved back toHawthorne 10 mos. ago from pasadena and we were going to Linden Opt. out there.) So I'll ABSOLUTELY call tommorrow and get him switched to Molina. You know what's weird....Yolanda at Dr. Demer's never suggested this and I was kinda grilling her for info on how to keep Jelani with Doctor Demer. Jelani has CCS to cover his other docs at UCLA...(audiology, ent, plastic surg.) I just wish someone would have suggested Molina so we could keep his eye doc. Thanks Steff...your a lifesaver! I'll call tomorrow.
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Post by steffaroni on Jun 11, 2008 1:20:50 GMT -5
No problem and if you call Molina they will do all the paperwork for you even just to have with anything ccs won't cover all the docs there switched from b/c to Molina. Livs str8 medi-cal has been accepted there. She's been goin almost 10 years so not sure perhaps they changed the rule can't imagine them still taking her though if that were the case. hmmmm can find out though. alrighty then jeff has had gr8 service thru both b/c and molina at UCLA. not one complaint coming from us. and he goes there weekly for different stuff. take care (((hugs))) steff
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Post by Chris too on Jun 11, 2008 8:00:25 GMT -5
Steff, I just read your poem & it floored me. It is very good & speaks to an issue I've been thinking about for awhile. Just why in our nation are we so concerned with non-essentials? Why is it that our society has it's priorities in such a knot? I think it comes of wealth - societal wealth. We can obtain anything we desire in this nation. It takes our minds off of the really important things of life. Your poem addresses all of that. And the anger is appropriate to the poem, so don't apologize for it
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Post by Chris too on Jun 11, 2008 8:13:32 GMT -5
Dawn, for down-right meanness, I'd answer "What's wrong with ..." with a low, firm "Where is your mother?" or even "What would your mother say?" or "Wouldn't your mother be proud of you?" If the kid wanted to impress his friends, he needed to be reminded of the opinion that really matters. Just a thought. I am glad you had such a nice day at the beach! It is true that world-travelers have a much better perspective on "normal" than anyone else. I think that the more "normals" you see the more you realize that "normal" is just a mathematical term that ought never to be applied to things as strange and wonderful as people. I'd say that the cure for rudeness is a trip to your wonderful beach
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