I actually e-mailed this to Adam's teacher and the Principal. I didn;t get an answer from the Principal but the teacher sent me an e-mail and she thought I should print it out and bring it at our next IEP. ;D
WHY GOD MADE MOMS Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:
Why did God make mothers? 1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. 2. Mostly to clean the house. 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers? 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. 3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of? 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. 2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom? 1. We're related. 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
What kind of little girl was your mom? 1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. 2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. 3. They say she used to be nice.
What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? 1. His last name. 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? 3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad? 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. 2. She got too old to do anything else with him. 3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house? 1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. 2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed. 3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between moms & dads? 1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. 2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them. 3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. 4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time? 1. Mothers don't do spare time. 2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your mom perfect? 1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery. 2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? 1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. 2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me. 3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
THIS ONE IS SO SPECIAL. i LOST MY MOTHER AT THE AGE OF 7 SO i WOULD KNOW. > > > >One day someone's mother died. > >And on that clear, cold morning, > >in the warmth of her bedroom, > >the daughter was struck with > >the pain of learning that sometimes > >There isn't any more. > > > >No more hugs, > >no more lucky moments to celebrate together, > >no more phone calls just to chat, > >No more "just one minute." > > > >Sometimes, what we care about the most goes away. > >never to return before we can say good-bye, > >Say "I Love " > >So while we have it . . it's > >best we love it ... . > >And care for it and fix it when it's broken . > >and take good care of it when it's sick. > > > >This is true for marriage .... and friendships .. > > > >And children with bad report cards; > >And dogs with bad hips; > >And aging parents and grandparents. > >We keep them because they are worth it, > >Because we cherish them! > > >Some things we keep -- > >like a best friend who moved away > >or a classmate we grew up with. > >There are just some things that > >make us happy, No matter what. > >
> >Life is important, > >and so are the people we know . .. > >And so, we keep > >them close! > > > >I received this from someone today > >who thought I was a 'KEEPER'! > > > >Then I sent it along to the people ! > >I Think of in the same way! > > > >Now it's your turn to send this to all those people > >who are "keepers" in your life! > > > >Thank you very much > >For being a special part of MY Life! > > > >You are a Keeper! > > > > > >"Life moves pretty fast. > >If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, > >you could miss it." > > > >"Be > >kinder than necessary, > >for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle"
When I'm an old lady, I'll live with my kids, and make them so happy, just as they did. I want to pay back all the joy they provided, Returning each deed. oh, they'll be so excited.
I'll write on the wall with reds, whites and blues, and bounce on the furniture wearing my shoes. I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out. I'll stuff all the toilets, and oh, how they'll shout.
When they're on the phone and just out of reach, I'll get ito things like sugar and bleach, Oh, they'll snap their fingers and then shake their heads, and when that is done I'll hide under the beds.
When they cook dinner and call me to meals, I'll not eat my green beans or salads congealed. I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table and when they get angry, run fast as I'm able.
I'll sit close to the TV, thru the channels I'll click, I'll cross both my eyes to see if they stick. I'll take off my socks and throw one away, and play in the mud until the end of the day.
And later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh, and thank God in prayer and then close my eyes, and my kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping, and say with a groan, "She's so sweet when she's sleeping."
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I Clocked >you at 80 miles per hour, sir." > > The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, Perhaps > your radar gun needs calibrating." > > Not looking up from her knitting the wife says:"Now don't be silly Dear, > you know that this car doesn't have cruise control." > > As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife > And growls, "Can't you please keep you mouth shut for once?" > The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar > Detector went off when it did." > > As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar Detector > unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched > Teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?" > > The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your > Seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine." > The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it > Off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my > back Pocket." > > The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your > Seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving." > And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver Turns > to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??" > > The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does you husband always > Talk to you this way, Ma'am?" > > "Only when he's been drinking." >
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don t use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. With a serious face, order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!" 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." 20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile, It’s called Therapy.