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Post by Pat on Nov 30, 2005 7:32:27 GMT -5
I have to admit I just walk right up to people w/ DS ;D When I was trying to find out what it was like in kindy around I'd say " Hi, my name's Pat Reeser & I have a son with DS I live in..What district is your child in? " I have gleened SOOOOOOO much information from where to play soccer, buddy T ball where to take piano lessons & so much more. NOONE has ever been offended. I even have many of their phone numbers I was in Toys R Us 2 days ago & someone said "Does your son have DS?" I said "yes," with a smile. She is pres. of the Montgomery County chapter where I live. Well, I got her phone number, called her yesterday to get some advice on my upcoming IEP.(Friday..remember me then) Pat
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Post by Debbie on Nov 30, 2005 22:17:09 GMT -5
Trisha,
You can always send me a message on here. I will be glad to reply and try to answer any questions you have.
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Post by CC on Nov 30, 2005 22:26:40 GMT -5
For us here, I will generally just look from afar and smile I tend to yap to most bout most anything but in all honesty I will not just go up to one due to the fact of DS BUT my sweet sweet hubby is total opposite of me and will go right up to anyone every chance he has that he meets that has something to do with DS I will be totally honest here and tell you I personally don't mind if ones come up to me to talk bout DS due to seeing Chris on most days BUT some days yes I would rather not be bothered, KWIM Just my thoughts on the matter and for what its worth I think you handled it perfect CC ~
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Post by Emilysmom on Nov 30, 2005 22:47:00 GMT -5
I hesitated about responding to this because I have had at least one negative experience with doing this............and for me, that was hard because it took everything I had to go up to this stranger and strike up a conversation about her child with Ds. We were in Toys R Us, and noticed this woman with a daughter in the shopping cart who was about 3 or so. She was an ADORABLE little girl, and I was trying to be more "outgoing" so I took the plunge. I walked up to her and said "your daughter is just beautiful"!!! She beamed and said thank you. I then said, "I have a 10 year old daughter with Down syndrome". Her face literally FELL, and she turned and obviously did not want to talk to me at all. I quickly said again "well, she sure is cute" and walked away. I was CERTAIN that the girl did have Ds, so it was not that I had approached a woman whose child did not have it. One thing I worried about was whether the mom would have just preferred for me to say her daughter was adorable PERIOD. Maybe she just would have not wanted to think that someone could notice at a glance that she did have Ds? I have no idea, but it was not a pleasant meeting. It is SO much easier when Emily is with me! I've had some GOOD experiences too, and my husband will always approach a family who has a child with Ds..........always! And, as far as I know in the 14 years he has been doing this, he has only had one negative comment. He walked up to a woman in Walmart who had a son close to Emily's age (maybe 9 at the time??) and said HI to the son and then pulled out his wallet and showed a photo of Emily and said "this is my daughter Emily". Her response was literally........."SO" ? I was very glad it was not me!!! I personally never ever mind if someone approaches ME about Emily............as long as they are polite about it. I once had a woman come up to me and say something like "I have a daughter like her at home. Just wait till she becomes a teenager. You'll REALLY have your hands full then"!!! And she just walked off! I thought............what a NUT!!! Susan
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Post by ValerieC on Nov 30, 2005 23:05:09 GMT -5
I too approach just about everyone I see with a child with Ds. It depends on the situation and the setting and the timing. I have never had a bad experience. Actually, we have met some pretty amazing people this way. The first time was when Alethea was 2 months old. I was out to tea with a friend and a woman with her 21 year old daughter with Ds walked into the tea parlor. They were only there to look at the menu, but before she left I simply said, "Excuse me, I have an infant with Ds and I couldn't help but notice your daughter." She stopped me right there and couldn't wait to see Alethea who was with me. She introduced me to her daughter. Told me about her family. Then she gave me her phone number. I see this woman about 4 times in different places and she remembers vividly meeting me in that parlor. I tell people all the time about this woman and her daughter and how she filled me with awe that day. She didn't even know what she did for my spirit that day. I know she and Jen were sent into that parlor by God, because they didn't even intend to go into that particular restaurant.
I guess I'm off topic now, but my thought is what do you have to lose? So someone might think you're strange. People think that all the time with or without a child with Ds. You could end up gaining something spectacular!
I'm thrilled when people approach us too. I just remember that need to know people and as much as I could about Ds when Alethea was born. I'm happy to be that person that someone else may need now. I've been able to point quite a few families in the right direction because of it too.
Valerie C
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Post by ValerieC on Nov 30, 2005 23:08:16 GMT -5
One more thought...
I speak at Christian women events and when I introduce myself I always talk about my family. I give a quick synopsis of each of my children. I never leave out Alethea's diagnosis of Ds and I always share what a blessing she is and how our family has changed because of her. I've spoken to many women because of my openness and honesty about Alethea. There are a lot of hurting people out there. If we can give them some kind of hope it just might change their worlds!
Valerie C
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Post by Debbie on Nov 30, 2005 23:14:52 GMT -5
Not everyone will feel open about the topic of Down syndrome. I know there are some parents that will not feel comfortable with talking about Down syndrome but, I still think it is good to try. Sometimes it can help if you leave them some space. I am a fine one to talk I know, but, since I have Down syndrome, I guess I can say that! I am an introvert by nature so it is hard for me to approach someone I don't know. I have to work on it all the time. One lady that lives in the town where my sister lives was very friendly and accepting. Her nephew has Down syndrome and he works at her restaurant sometimes. I just opened up and told her I had Down syndrome too. She was very receptive towards me. Her nephew is from San Antonio.
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Post by ALLISA on Dec 1, 2005 0:52:51 GMT -5
Hi all.... I froze myself today ! My family owns a few small stores and I went into one today to do some bookeeping and there was a young woman with DS shopping with her mom.....we all said hello....as it is a TINY store, it's hard to miss anyone who is in there.....the employees all obviously know that Erin has DS ...and for some reason....I felt "odd" with everyone ( all 4 !) watching me. I would have felt like I had an audience and it is a slightly more private conversation .....so I said nothing....and I felt strange saying nothing ! In the past I've usually encountered wonderful people....and I think you can sense when someone is approaching and they want to share a family member with you.....there's a definite DS vibe ! LOL I, too did have one "strange" encounter where a woman stopped, told me she had a daughter with DS and said...."she's tiny now.....but be careful....they can get fat real fast"......okey-dokey......thanks ! But that was truly the "worst" story I had !! Allisa
PS....Valerie C....You've got a good line....it is a great opening and nice & simple....I'm keeping it in mind for future !
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Post by Renee' on Dec 2, 2005 13:23:05 GMT -5
I am the one always walking up to people. I usually just ask how old is your boy/girl. Then I say I have a 6 year old and she also has Down Syndrome. It goes from there. I just met a lady in Garden Ridge last week that way
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Post by andrewsmom on Dec 2, 2005 13:55:35 GMT -5
Awww Kelly....how nice! Isn't it nice to hear such positive attitudes?! I'm glad she made your day! -Trisha
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Post by Alice on Dec 2, 2005 14:05:42 GMT -5
I remember a funny story, someone (do not remember who) wrote that she came up to a mom with a little baby and sad: "Oh you have a beautiful baby girl with DS". Oopss. The baby had a dad from China... and did not have any DS... LOL
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Post by andrewsmom on Dec 2, 2005 14:28:57 GMT -5
LOL Alice!! I have a terrible fear of doing just that...mistaking someone. I always have to ask my husband, "so, what do you think? Do they have DS?" I don't know, it's just hard for me to tell sometimes.
Allisa....I'm so glad I'm not the only one! Thanks everyone for your replies. I am going to keep them all in mind the next time I run into someone with DS. I would just like to talk with them and maybe get a different view point on some things. KWIM?
Debbie..... Thank you so much!!
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