How do your other kids cope?

[lorraine]

With all the attention your child with DS gets ?

We find that William gets alot of friendly attention from strangers when we are out,
mostly from old ladies for some reason.
Also Charlotte has got really lovely curly red hair that gets her noticed quite a bit too,
which leaves my eldest, Paige who is 10 often totally ignored.

I know sometimes it really upsets her but I don't know what to do about it .

Does it happen in your family, and have you got any tips to help ?

Thanks

Lorraine

[murrietadsmom]

It happens to my family, I have 4 other kids my 7 yr old feels like we don't give her enough attention, since she was the baby before Danika was born. She says that she wants bonding time. She had my husband take her to the movies yesterday only her to watch the movie UP, she was very happy. She also wants to go with me every two weeks to get a pedicure, she really loves it. My eldest son says that Danika is my favorite, I tell him that I don't have favorites, that I love them all the same. The best thing to do is to do one on one with your kids here and their. I know that my 7yr old loves it and finally just keep telling them that you love them. Thanks Maria

[Googsmom aka Jennifer]

Thats a tuffy Lorraine {{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}} I know how hard it is to juggle all the kids along w/ everything else we mom's have to do all day. Sometimes I can see Mary feels "left out" of somethings b/c they revolve around Brooker. She will never admit it though. Gotta love her. I just try very hard on the days Mary is here and not at her Dad's to do Mary things. She has two houses and three babies around. Two of them are three and the little one is almost two. I just try hard to make Mary time. It doesn't always happen, obviously, life happens. All you can do is try your best. {{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}} And don't even ask what happens when the boys and the grandbabies come over....LOL Chaos!!!

[momofrussell]

I really can't say it's ever happened with us.... or if the girls really felt left out they have never told me! The way we do it is we first don't make a big deal out of the "unevenness" when it happens...it's life and that's that. There are times Russell gets more attention, then sometimes Regan.... and sometimes Reece. For our house, that's life and I try NOT to keep things "even" all the time for sake of someone feeling left out, because to be honest, life isn't about that. If it warrants it, absolutely, but I tend to just let life happen and try not to make a big deal if something like the attention of one happened.

I do know that there are times Russell does get more attention, whether we are out or whatever... but we also do things we just the girls at other times.... or trust me, my girls also get their own attention depending on the situation.....

What I would do for your daughter if that was happening here, is to make take her out by herself sometime.... for a walk, out to eat, read a book with her, etc.. .and also know it's part of maturing and growing up. Talk to her also about just what it is specifically...there might be things that she does get attention on and she needs a gentle reminder... and a special moment with mom to cherish that

A.

[CC]

I can very much relate.

Kodi Lee is 3 and 1/2 years older then Chris. So when Chris was just a babe and we would go off to EI so many would say Special Needs this or that, KWIM One day when we were leaving EI, little Kodi Lee had tears in her eyes and said to me "Mom, am I special too?" OMG I was like You BET you are and from that day on we tired very hard to have at least once a month a "Kodi Lee Day" ;D Some times it was just with Kodi and me or Kodi and her Dad or ALL of us Kodi, Colin, Chris and I... For us it was pretty easy as we only have 2 children but she LOVED it and to this day, which BTW this coming Saturday she will turn 20 and she still talks about "Kodi Lee's Days ;D ;D

CC~

[Jackie]

I used to worry about the same thing and I think its because since Em was the baby and there was about 6 yrs between her and the next one she did require more care than the others at that time of life. I also think that because of her needs she was 'on my mind' more than the other 3...not in my heart but on my mind. Therefore I often thought that all my time and energy was directed towards her. But when I really took the time to reflect I realized that much more time was spent driving the other three to different sides of town 24/7 and rounding up their supplies, fixing their meals and sitting at their various performances and soccer and other sports games. THEY were the ones really wearing me out and they never seemed to act like they wanted any more attention from me or Ed. I even nursed Emily under a poncho sitting on the sidelines between 2 soccer fields...LOL.

I think that if we let it happen our special needs kids CAN consume our lives so you have a valid concern. Emily had some pretty significant medical needs early in her life and sometimes it did seem like that had to always come first. But when a wee babe 'blows' a colostomy bag at the zoo...life does need to come to a temporary halt and a retreat to the trunk of the car for clean clothes is a must...and my kids learned to just laugh about things like that. I believe that if you set the example and the kids will follow your lead.

Jackie