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Post by cgay on Jul 13, 2009 18:49:49 GMT -5
Hello,
I have never done this before so pardon any mistakes in protocol that I make. I have a 15 year old daughter with Downs syndrome, and I feel more anger and frustration now than I did when she was born. Is this normal?
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Post by Ashlea on Jul 13, 2009 19:48:42 GMT -5
First of all Hi and Welcome.....
And YES, I feel the same way. We are dealing with a whole new set of issues as our children grow. Seems like just when we have one thing under control something else rears it's ugly head. And I feel like time is running out in a way.... the most impressionable time and possibly the time when our children learn and grow the most is when they are young..... also seems like there are far fewer resources for older children. And then there is that fear of dealing with all the "adult" issues that will be coming up, transitions, possibly new living arrangments, etc.... Seems like it was so "easy" when my son was young!!! But I suppose one day we will look back a realize it wasn't so difficult afterall and it was well worth the fight we all deal with on a daily basis.
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Post by CC on Jul 13, 2009 20:23:12 GMT -5
First let me say, I think what ever one feels is normal, KWIM Everyone is different and each situation is different. For me my Chris is 16 and honestly was a terror when he was young and for us these years are so much better then when he was young. Chris also has the dual DX of DS and ASD, many different medical issues. There have been many ups and downs over the years for us all. At this time things are actually getting a bit easier. Do you mind if I ask is something going on recently with your daughter that has you feeling this way? Hope you continue to post and look forward to hearing more about you and yours, CC ~ from New Jersey  |
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Post by Googsmom aka Jennifer on Jul 13, 2009 20:32:37 GMT -5
Hi  Welcome to Uno. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}} I'd chalk it up to teenagerism. I have a daughter with this too All kidding aside, what are you most frustrated with? Maybe we can help better. |
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Post by momofrussell on Jul 14, 2009 18:18:52 GMT -5
WELCOME!!!!
Russell, my son w/DS, is 11... I don't think I am quite where you are by any means. Anything particular you are having issue with? Maybe we could help specifically!
I hope you enjoy it here as much as we all do!
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Post by Debi on Jul 15, 2009 10:35:43 GMT -5
Post anytime and as CC always says.. and we all agree... we'd love to hear more about you and yours!!
I wanted to share that Gabe at l5 elicted musch the same feelings in me. I haven't any doubt that puberty really him hard.. things weren't going that well at school... just lots of issues. And I can most recently attest having Down Syndrome doesn't stop anyone from growing up and maturing but with a disability the tensions sometimes are just that much harder.
Hope you will let us get to know you better and if any of my Gabe stories (or anyone elses!) will help I know we all will be happy to share.. it's what Uno Mas does best!!
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Post by Jackie on Jul 15, 2009 11:01:51 GMT -5
Welcome to Uno...my daughter Emily is 29. YES I do think you have it right...it does get harder (but in a different way) as they grow older. The problem is that as our kids age their needs become more unique...one somewhat generic approach just doesn't do the trick like it does when they are younger. There are no adolescent developmental programs like there are for infants. Since each adolescent's physical, emotional and learning needs are very individualized you can't always turn to a message board or a book to solve the problems. I found that there was a lot of 'punting' going on in our lives.
When our kids are young...it is all still pretty new and while it seems difficult at times things have a way of usually working out. As they get older I think we start relating to them in a more mature emotional way. My child did pretty well in most areas but as she grew and I started relating to her more as an adult I was often baffled and irritated when she didn't function at the level I "imagined" her to be. I also had anger (which confused me) as well as some depression as I watched her peers pass her by and have social lives unlike hers. So you can see you are not alone in your feelings. Life with a person who has DS is a constant roller coaster and as they grow the peaks and dips somehow manage to get a little bigger as time goes by. We are still encountering new highs and lows in Emily's journey, but the good news is we have all survived!!!!! ;D
This board is a good way to express yourself...both in frustration and in joy and hope. We have all been through it too. These are people who have and are still walking "a mile in your shoes". You will learn a lot here and I am sure will find some life long friends and we will learn from you too. Hope you stick around.
Jackie in Texas
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Post by Jackie on Jul 15, 2009 11:50:44 GMT -5
ok ..now in re reading not sure I said it the right way. Didn't mean to imply that the early years are a piece of cake...LOL. Just that the problems you face from about the middle school yrs on are very different...and I really think most of us experience a shift in emotions about then as well. ;D Jackie
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Post by lorraine on Jul 18, 2009 12:58:51 GMT -5
Welcome to Uno Mas ;D
Sorry I don't have any advice to offer but just wanted to say hello.
Lorraine
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Post by CC on Jul 24, 2009 22:16:16 GMT -5
Just wanted to bump this post up and say if you are out there still, please post up and let us know how things are going HUGS CC~ |
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Post by tchamness on Aug 5, 2009 9:25:24 GMT -5
I don't know if it is normal or not, but I feel the same way. It seems from the time she gets up till she goes down is just one big arguement. She is either crying or mad. She doesnt listen. It seems like there are so many bases to cover with her and there is no way to cover them all. She is 12 btw.
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Welcome to Uno. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}} I'd chalk it up to teenagerism. I have a daughter with this too 
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