Sensitive girl or sensitive hearing

[Googsmom aka Jennifer]

Question ;D Long rambling post

So Brook has always hated loud noises, always. I did not know why and I also did not know what to do about it. Silly me didn't even know there was such a thing called Hyper sensitive hearnig. After review of the "checklist" they use to determine if this is the case, Brook, I feel, just doesn't fit in that club. She is getting much better now but still has the meltdowns sometimes. I have to say she sat through both parades this year and did not freek out once

I didn't know what to do to help her conquer this loud noise fear so I would just keep on taking her to places with loud noise and some rukis, like the arcade. Even sometimes when I laugh, she will get startled. Or if I talk to loud, yes I not only talk alot, but have been told i'm loud too...LOL she will get startled. The worst anymore is when she gets ahold of the remote and hit's the volume button. OMGoodness, freeeeek out!!

At school last year there was a little one older than Brook who just did not mind the teacher and was very disruptive in class. When he would have a meltdown Brook would FREEEK out. So much so i'd get the call to come visit and help her. No biggie. It's in her IEP to call me if she freeks out and cant be calmed w/ in 5 minutes. (I'm only a minute away from school) Due to her malasias, her throat will close quickly if she is having a crying spell. I have to calm her quickly or her sat's start to drop and she turns a lovely shade of red/blue/purple After a couple of times of this boy freeking out, I pulled the "to disruptive for the rest of the children to learn" card, and the little one was put in the class w/ his older peers and not the little ones. I thought I had solved the problem.

Now at summer school something is going on. We're trying to figure this out. Brook has not really had a meltdown per say, just starts to sob when her favorite aide leaves her side to care for a screaming kid. She LOVES this aide and always wants her right beside her when one of the other kids starts crying or yelling. There are 5 more kids in summer school than there was in regular school. More rukis. Is it too much for her? Don't know.

So after this long rambling post, anyone have any tips on loud noises and what to do when Miss Sensitive Girl feels a bit shaken at school? The last thing I want is for her to be scared of school kids. Do you think she'll outgrow this? Thx everyone

[Emilysmom]

Jennifer,
I can just say from my own experience, Emily definitely grew out of her "loud noise issues". She never actually had melt downs or totally freaked out about loud noises....but she would cry and look terrified. I remember leaving her with a friend (she was going to babysit for her while I went shopping one day, when Emily was about 3). When I returned to pick her up, the friend commented that our family was obviously much more CALM and QUIET than hers, cause Emily seemed very afraid of the loud noises her family made. LOL It struck me as very funny, because our family of SIX was anything but quiet!! I guess OUR loud noises were familiar to Em?
She would also cry (or just get the pouty lip) in preschool if another child was crying. So, yes....I think part of it could be that she was sensitive and maybe seemed to relate to what the other kids were feeling?? And honestly, I always wondered if maybe she wasn't really able at 3 or 4 years old to mentally process what was going on with the other kids........if they were crying, it might have seemed like something BAD was going on with them and that scared her. I hope that makes sense........she just didn't see that whatever had upset the other kids would be taken care of and probably wasn't a big problem to begin with? We used to go to concerts, and Emily WANTED to enjoy them...but just seemed like the loud noise bothered her. We went to a concert yesterday at Six Flags (Sean Kingston...and he was LOUD!), and it didn't seem to bother her a bit.

I guess I said all of that to say that, in Emily's case, she definitely grew out of the noise sensitivity.
I know there is such a fine line here.........you want to protect Brook from anything that upsets her or seems uncomfortable to her. But, I would be concerned that she could really get a pattern of having melt downs at school, simply because it could be her ticket back home with mom, and home and everything she loves. Ideally, her teachers could come up with a plan for THEM to reassure her and calm her down and deal with the noise of the other students, so Brook can stay and feel comfortable there. It sounds like she feels very comfortable with her favorite aide, and starts to feel stressed when that aide leaves her side. I'm not sure how to tell the teachers to do it, but they need to reassure Brook that she is ok/her aide will return to her/the other kids are ok/ and that school is fun! Might be easier said than done, I know.

[sd112170]

Jennifer,

I suffer from hearing sensitivity. My two older children do also. When they were younger, they would have problems with large classes, fireworks, etc. It took years for my kids to love the fireworks. And then they would hold their ears. I still have to hold my ears, alot. Like you, my Hubby has a loud, thunderous voice. I have noticed that John has some sensitivity also. There are pitches that send him to orbit. Scares him to death.

All this to say, does Brook know to plug her ears when it gets loud? Sometimes its easier to deal with when things get outa control like that. That may help her get through someone elses meltdown. That way she feels she is in control of that type of setting.

Stacy

[Googsmom aka Jennifer]

I see what your saying Susan. Brook has become attached to her aide and i've told the aide before Brook will try and work her Brook majic on her I tell her don't fall for it Although I am a softy when it come to Brooks malasia stuff and get a bit parionoid when she is hysterical crying, sobbing or bellowing doesn't count in the come get me from school. The two times i've been called, last year, and once at summer school, I go to school and we stay there untill class is finished. I don't want her to think she gets to leave school, b/c we don't leave, I make her stay there and finish the day. Sure she might think oh if I cry mom will come to school and sit with me. We will work on that too but for now she is just a little one and mom will come. Right or wrong, who knows. Maybe she is a bit young but it's good for her to see other kids. SHe loves it there mostly. After much talk with the teachers yesterday, it could be the heat, or that she is just really sensitive. Sence there are two rooms now instead of one, we will try removing Brook from sad/scary/upsetting situation and redirect her to the other room with a buddy for some other activity. Just gotta keep plugging along eigh? She will even get sad when someone is crying on the tv or when the comercial with all the animals and the song...in the arms of an angel.. comes on. What a girl. I love her. We will keep at it.


Stacy, you know, I have not tried that. Maybe that will work. Or at least give her an option of what to do. Thx.

[alisonzmom]

Just saw this post. Alison is also very sensitive to both loud noises, particularly unexpected ones, and to others crying or yelling. As she's gotton "older" (she's 6 now) it's gotton easier to deal with. When we were at Disney, I had her hold her hands over her ears during the fireworks ( this bad, evil Mommy was not going to miss fireworks just because Alison didn't like the noise!). When we go to a movie or some of the plays at school I have her wear a pair of headphones ( the kind that just cut the noise level ) It's gotton to where she will wear them for the start of things but will eventually take them off as she seems to get accustomed to the volume.

As far as her sensitivity to other kids crying, got nothing for ya there!!! Alison just hates to see anyone else crying or sad. She'll go over to the other child and rub their back and say things like "No cry, is okay." I try to explain to her that it's ok to be sad and to cry sometimes. Don't know how much of that she really "gets" though.

Good luck with your beautiful, sensitive little gal!

Barb

[ALLISA]

Yes...Erin has a lot of similarities to Brook....if any child cries...Erin gets VERY upset. I, too had to speak about another child in her class who literally cried for 5 out of the 6 hours he was in school....heartbreaking !! but I digress......

She is outgrowing it as she gets older ( and meds help) .....NOT that I am saying meds for Brook....but for US.....they were needed.......

Erin would bang her head, pull her hair, scrtach herself if another child cried. ( Oh God....and you should have seen what a doorbell did to her !!! )

All scary and sad to see.....but....remember these behaviors are her communication. What she can't express verbally she expresses physically.

I had to remove her from the area, take her to quiet place and rub her arms and hands until she calmed. It got to the point where I could calm her without removing her....and she would thrust her arms and hands at me to rub them as she knew it was going to soothe her.

Now if something happens, I can usually soothe her verbally and not need to do anything phyusical, and she still does get sad when someone else is sad......I've got to post a video of her...she'll rub her eyes and say " so, so sad,,,,,very very sad"....it is actually quite cute !!

I think it sounds as though you are handling it well...find something ( hand rubs, back rubs, hair rubs) to calm her and then she maybe able to transition to self soothing with the same technique.

Let us know !

[momofrussell]

You have some great advice/ideas so far. Russell too is sensitive to noises. We have tried, within reason, to desensitise (sp?) Russell. On one hand I don't want him to truly be tortured by sitting and experiencing sounds, but he also needs to understand how to deal with them because sounds are all around us.

Thing is, sound adversions aren't just a "oh, I don't like that sound" kinda thing... in some children and adults, it physically HURTS them to hear certain sounds. You can tell with Russell when that happens. So, years ago I just told the school that they should always try certain sounds but not FORCE him to stay.

I think age is a factor.... Russell can tolertate much more now.. but he still has his moments. He pokes his eye when it's really upsetting him and we know this. Russell will be going to middle school next year so we are still working on getting him use to louder noises... it's LOUD in MS and HS. It's always a work in progress. It's funny, Russell is on meds too and for the longest time he became HYPER sensitive to noises..... it was like he was more aware... that lasted for over a year.... now I don't see it as much.

And I agree, Brooke needs to be at school and experience the peers, criers and all! LOL

A.

[CC]

YIKES Chris hated loud nosies when he was young. We would take him to places like the circus and the boy would have a true melt down. He would cover his ears and just hate being in situations like that. We just kept exposing him to situations like that and he did so much better. Every now and then he will be freaked out by an unexpected loud noises but very rare now Every now and then he will still cover his ears but within a few moments will take his hands off his ears and start to enjoy.

Funny part about Chris not liking the loud noises is he could be as loud as possible himself and that was always OK with him LOLOL

If one cries Chris has always been very compassionate to crying, he will go up to who ever is crying and try and cheer them up or and make sure they are OK ;D He did that as a young young child and still to this day doesn't like to see one sad or cry.

Funny I never heard of Hyper sensitive hearing till you mentioned it here, Hmmm I will have to look into what that is.

My bet is Brook will grow out of it and I am not sure but I think its a pretty common thing with young ones with DS.

CC ~

[laurasnowbird]

We've been there and done that!!! Ethan was sensitive to all kinds of noises when he was little. And just like CC said about Christopher, Ethan's own LOUD noises didn't bother him at all!

Fireworks displays were MAJOR trauma. He'd literally climb up my body he was so frightened! He's seven now, and summer before last I let Victoria go with some other family members to see fireworks, and brought Ethan and Aidan (who was only 1 then) home and put them to bed. Someone in the next neighborhood over from mine put on a MAJOR display, and it woke Ethan. Instead of being scared, he was enthralled. I had to wake Aidan, and put the two of them in the car and drive over there so he could watch them. Now he BEGS to go see fireworks.

That has been true of so many things as it relates to Ethan and loud noises. He now loves lots of things that frightened him terribly when he was little. We just continued to expose him, and tried not to make a big deal of it, and just act like it was everyday stuff, because it seemed the more attention we paid to his fear, the worse it got. It was almost as if we were validating it by soothing him. When we just started acting as if it were nothing out of the ordinary, he reacted less. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but that's the way it was for Ethan.

[momofrussell]

Oddly... that is the ONE thing Russell does enjoy... FIREWORKS!!! ;D Go figure!

[ALLISA]

Yup...Erin is right there with Ethan & Russell...LOVES LOVES LOVES the fireworks....and honestly....she likes the noise more than the colors and displays.....every time they BOOMED....she clapped. laughed and copied them....meanwhile....all the littel kids with us were scared and crying ! LOL....funny to see how times change. When she was little she would endure the fireworks....but rocked herself like crazy to soothe herself. she never had a meltdown....just was in super soothing mode !

[Googsmom aka Jennifer]

Haven't tried the fireworks yet. Always fall asleep Were trying different things and I can see improvement. Funny too, Brook can yell at a sonic boom levels and it doesn't faze her...LOL

[Debbie]

I am sensitive to loud noises too. Sometimes when Mom is the kitchen looking for a certain pot or pan, other pans and pots seem to spill out over the floor. I am able to tune it out mostly (sometimes) but, it is a noise that makes me think of a finger moving down the chalk board. It doesn't last long. I never liked fireworkers though. I do like the colors in a fireworks show. I just don't want to be near them. It is the same with loud people. I like my quiet. I am a quiet type of person. It is what I am used to. I wonder if being an Inrovert has anything to do with it?

[char]

After Abby had her tonsils out (and adnoids) she became sensitive to loud noise. She has ear muffs not unlike the ones I wear if I go target practicing. They seem to work wonders for her.

Char