Knocking things over.

[kellyds]

Have any of you had this problem with your kids? Joshua seems to not be able to resist sweeping whatever is on a table to the floor . . . lamps, books, whatever. He's always been like that, but now that he's bigger, it's getting to be a problem.

I have tried the stern, "NO!" accompanied by a very sad face. I have tried just telling him it makes people sad when he does that. I even tried slapping his hands (gently). Now, when he throws something on the floor, he slaps his OWN hands and says, "NO, NO!"

I tried each of the above for several MONTHS before I went on to something new. Currently, I'm trying the "just ignore it" advice I found in "Steps to Independence: Teaching Everday Skills to Children With Special Needs". Um . . . with my temperament, this is the easiest method so far. I just don't have a problem picking the "thing" back up and quietly replacing it. I tried the disciplinary techniques earlier because someone told me not to let him get away with things just because he has Down syndrome. 'Ignore it" comes more naturally to me, but I'm pretty laid back.

I'm in search of opinions and advice. Also, I'm wondering if this is typical behavior or not? None of my other kids did this. It almost seems like an impulse he can't control, and then he's mad at himself after he realizes what he's done.

[kg91207]

Kaelyn does something similar, and that is throwing things. Especially her bottle or food when she's in her highchair. Very embarrassing at restaurants!! When she throws her bottle, we just set it on the table and make her wait for it, then she has to ask for it (sign please and milk or juice). She doesn't throw AS much, but still throws things. I don't try to make a big deal of it either, kind of "ignore it". I think with our kiddos it just takes longer than the "average" child for any kind of intervention to work!

[momofrussell]

Do you make Joshua pick it up at all?

[kellyds]

I've tried that once or twice. He won't do it unless I take his hands and "make" him (actually doing it myself, but with HIS hands). Maybe I should do that consistently, to teach him that we're responsible for our own messes.

He isn't great at following commands. For instance, if I ask him to hand me something, there's about a fifty percent chance that he will.

[momofrussell]

Yes, he needs to pick it up, hand over hand even. EVERYTIME.... ignore him, stay calm, no emotion and HE should pick it up or we are teaching them they can throw but WE pick it up.

Always ask yourself, would I let my "typical" child do this? Meaning, what would you do if your typical child threw something? You'd probably make them pick it up! ;D

A.

[kellyds]

That's pretty darn good advice, and should have been obvious to me to begin with. Thank you!

[faithhope]

That is great advice. I will use that. Noah constantly throws things. His toys mostly, but also his bottle, I am like you and tend to just do it myself, which is bad becuase Noah is getting lazier, he used to hold his own bottle, then baby was born and he got a little bratty and threw his bottle more so I started to just hold it for him, now he straight out refuses to hold it and immediately throws it. I too wonder if this is typical behavior or just a specia needs thing. Like A. says though, we must do the same that we would do for a child that was typical.
Love
Jess

[CC]

For us OMG Christopher threw any and everything when he was young. Honestly he has a GREAT pitch of a ball now LOLOL

He grew out of the phase thankfully years ago.

A's advise is GREAT but just wanted to share that for us what really helped was getting Chris a hoop and giving him tons of times outside throwing the ball in the hoop. He would do it forever and just speaking for him but he seem to get all his throwing needs out of his system, KWIM. Then he was tons better in the house along with maturity.

Best of Luck

CC ~

[kellyds]

You know, Joshua is really a terrific ball player. I'd let him play ball with a typical four-year-old any day. He throws AND catches really well, and plays Frisbee, too. He does play ball a whole lot with his dad and siblings . . . several times a day . . . so maybe he'll eventually get the throwing out of his system, like Chris did. I appreciate your sharing that Chris' inappropriate throwing diminished with maturity. It gives me hope! ;D

[logansmom]

Logan was quite a "thrower," too. We also got a small basketball hoop that we put up in the house so he could shoot baskets over and over and over (we also have a taller one outside that he uses). Logan is 6 1/2 now, and he finally stopped throwing things at the table when he was 4 1/2 or so.

We did make him pick things up (hand over hand) and we also made him wipe up any messes when he threw things to the floor. I tried really hard to show no emotion . . . but honestly the last time he threw something off the table I "fake-cried" as I was making him pick it up. I really hate to admit that out loud, but I knew that he was showing a lot of empathy for people/babies who were crying and I thought I would give it a try. I did this as a last resort because I was really, really frustrated and didn't know what else to do, but it did seem to have an effect. I haven't resorted to doing this again since that time.

Embarrassed a bit but telling the truth,
Kim

[momofrussell]

Yes, I agree with CC, if they want to throw, give them a controlled activity to let them throw. That's part of the process.... figuring out they are doing something and NEED to do it, and then giving them a more appropriate alternative. Because saying NO just because sometimes doesn't cut it... but let's face it, clearing off tables and throwing things just isn't appropriate! LOL But basketball playing is! ;D

And making them pick things up when you have to do hand over hand is NO easy task. I remmeber when Russell use to chuck everything from his high chair I was picking it up. He wasn't even walking yet! But our PT said, HE needs to pick it up... hand over hand, even if I had to carry/scoot him there! LOL So we did.....

And we still do. He doesn't really throw anymore but sometimes when he is done with something or mad he will drop things or throw things...like if we are out and about he does this. We stop what we are doing and make him pick it up. This happens lots in grocery carts... and you will see Kevin and Sam's Club telling Russell "Pick it up" and get him out of the cart and Russell will go and get what he threw. Russell growls the whole time but he picks it up LOL

A.

[momofrussell]

Kim, I really don't see anything wrong with letting your child know you are sad/mad or whatever. They NEED to learn our emotions and if we do something wrong we get sad/mad. Even if we have to over-exagerate them when they are little so they will understand. We do that with Russell sometimes....

[MB]

Piggybacking on to what A. said......Be sure you are standing behind him forcing him to lean over as you do when picking things up hand over hand. Our kids do not like to have someone on their back!

Again, stand behind the child and bend over to pick up the item hand over hand. The child is naturally forced to bend with you. Follow the pick up with the phrase, "Do not throw the whatever, leave it on the table. After that have the child walk by three times without touching the item.

You should plan on repeating this exercise 15-20 times before your child owns the behavior.

mb

[kellyds]

Thanks, mb. That kind of specific technique is exactly what I was looking for. I'll be getting a basketball hoop, too! :-)