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Post by Debbie on Sept 27, 2009 14:14:30 GMT -5
Well, I wondered about that you know Jackie. Group homes are very strict. And I can understand that. Could I live on one? No way. You don't really have the freedom to do as you wish in a house and then you have people living with you. That would be hard for me probably not Emily though. Baby steps. Yes, don't see the whole picture all at once. That will just overwelm you. It does me. Hang in there. Take one step at a time. Be honest and up front with Emily. I have to get on to Mom and Dad about decisions they have made for me and not let me in on it. It can be very frustrating.
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Post by Chris too on Sept 28, 2009 9:04:36 GMT -5
I'm on the edge of my seat watching this one Makes me glad, Jackie, that you let us watch and learn, that you don't leave us hanging forever, that you are open and honest with us and we get a peek at the possibilities for our futures with ours. Thanks
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Post by Jackie on Sept 29, 2009 8:43:43 GMT -5
current obstacle is...no one has informed Emily yet that this is about to happen...sigh. I think it HAS to be Katie for her to fully understand that this is for real. We can NOT just spring it on her a day or two before our meeting. I am currently trying to find out how long the group home process would take start to finish as it looks now like this might be our only option. STAY TUNED LOL.
Jackie
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Post by ALLISA on Sept 29, 2009 23:01:57 GMT -5
no one likes change.... I will be waiting to hear how you all work this out & what sort of arrangements are coming....
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Post by Jackie on Sept 30, 2009 7:56:00 GMT -5
Things took a dramatic turn yesterday. Got an email that there might indeed be an opening in the group home Em has been picking up a ride to Art from on Saturdays. She loves the house manager and the house itself. Not sure how she relates to the other resident. And...there is a new woman coming today that she won't meet until Saturday. Apparently the 3rd person has not gotten the paper work done and they are up in the air about her. The program director told me that at this time it might be a case of first come first served meaning we need to act on this quickly. Of course no one had really told Emily that NOW was the time we were going to start on all this so that bombshell got dropped yesterday by Katie who had to leave soon after. I picked up the pieces on the phone and had a somewhat teary conversation with her. We have spent years reminding her she can make her own decisiions and she quickly reminded ME of that too...LOL. And...said her decision was NOT to live in a group home...sigh. But as I explained to her...she herself has said she is scared to live in an apartment and would rather live with 'family'...so since it is time for her to leave Katie's she really only had two choices at the moment. Come home and live with us for a while..(this got a big NO)...or choose a group home which in a way is still sort of like living with family. Then in time perhaps she would meet a friend and might then be ready to try an apartment. Em will need a few days to process this and maybe in the meantime we will find out if moving into this house will be a real possibility. This is moving awfully fast for me so perhaps it would be better if we pass this op up and wait for them to start a new home with Em being the first resident...just don't know. Talk about a sleepless night... Jackie
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Post by Googsmom aka Jennifer on Sept 30, 2009 8:38:24 GMT -5
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}
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Post by Debi on Sept 30, 2009 19:17:34 GMT -5
Yeah Jackie you may be in for more that a few of those nights. Things happened very fast in terms of an opening for Gabe also and it was very agonzing to try and decide. My instincts were in seperate but equal camps..but I thought I'd grab this particular seat as it came around this time as it is so hard to know when openings might present themselves. Which seems most unfair to me as well....I think there should be more options available, of course. Mega hugs your way Jackie cause I 'm not gonna pretend any of this is easy. At least you have had this conversation with her.. is that a help? BTW am still waiting for that "happiness explosion" for Emily AND me!
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Post by Jackie on Oct 1, 2009 8:05:22 GMT -5
Debi...LOL...I think Em has had her explosion! I asked her yesterday and despite the angst over all this she managed to tell me she IS feeling much better...Katie agrees ...now ..your turn! ;D
Thanks for all you have had to share. How is Gabe doing with this?
Yesterday another ...positive...at least in terms for me. Katie called and said Michelle, Emily's service coordinator, came over to talk to her about all of this. I had wondered earlier in the day if part of Em's reluctance was because she has her room papered with pirates and Johnny Depp. Michelle reassured her that they could move most of it on a number of bulletin boards...and then took her over to her own house to let Emily see a wall size mural made of sheets of 9x12 pieces of paper that one of her own daughters had made years ago. Michelle told her she has moved that entire mural twice and its still in good shape. The agency has told me that she can decorate her own room but that they prefer bulletin boards. Katie said she thinks they are trying to 'slip' emily into this opening slot.
I should hear more today.
Keep me posted on Gabe.
Jackie
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Post by Chris too on Oct 1, 2009 22:05:03 GMT -5
Kinda scary for her I'll bet - not knowing what to expect. It was great that the coordinator talked it over with her to give her more to go on. She can start envisioning her new room a bit that way, and that is a toe-hold into adjusting to a new situation. Rough times, but I'll bet it's mostly the not-knowing that worries her, and she'll do better and better as she catches a vision of her new place.
(((hugs)))
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Post by ALLISA on Oct 2, 2009 7:21:31 GMT -5
wow....lots to think of.....I would be afraid to let the place slip by and wait for the new home to be built....is this a build that is already being planned ? Or just a hope of a build ? I have warmed to the idea of a group home in general.....( for erin's future)....but....as with everything....it has to be the perfect fit for all.....some may be fabulous, and some may be fabulos for some one else...... Imagine if she found Johnny Depps # 2 fan was also a house-mate !?!? Keep the updates coming & know that we are all rooting for you !
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Post by momofrussell on Oct 2, 2009 9:57:27 GMT -5
I am late to this...haven't had a chance to come and read it all. Sounds like change is definately in the wind Before reading all of it my first thought was maybe your "plan" with Emily was to design a niche not filled for something in between a group home and apartment life....maybe you were destined to fill a void...who knows, maybe you guys still are. But then as I read the evolvement, maybe now the group thing might happen?! Sometimes the fear is the unknown.....Emily is very typical to any adult facing change...."will it work"..."can I be me".... "will I like it"... "what happens if it doesn't work out".... it's comforting knowing she is facing "typical" things like we all expect and desire from our children.... Kudos to Emily's mom too for giving her those wings and tools to experience all of this! ;D Keep us posted! A.
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Post by steffipoo on Oct 2, 2009 18:30:26 GMT -5
OY VEY..... I will stay tuned to hear more Jackie. (((HUGS))) to you... I pray all goes well for Em and she find her perfect situation. Sounds great about the fact she will still be hooked up with her art classes and ART!!! That's a part of her EMILYNESS Thats a good stable she can always look forward too and she's great at. Hey Jackie do you have any links I can share with my pals at the DSALA of Emily and her ARTWORK??? Jackie I too had this total preconceived notion about sp education schools. Inclusion was working so well until her last year of grammar school and then I think she felt so left out no matter what people say when your not being invited to kids in your class' house and other stuff it hurts. No amount of inclusion can fix her broken heart.. so I did it and put Liv in a sp ed school and she LOVES IT. Feels proud confident and actually has been presented with so many more oportunities than with her old school. She just seemed so sad then I felt bad for pushing my dream onto her and the thought of her in middle school with 1200 other kids gave me the willies. Plus my son said MOM I have never been in trouble before in school but I fear getting into fights protecting her cause these kids are mean... If I had found an ideal situation in a reg ed school I would have sent her there. I now have discovered I will let her lead me... I'm not gonna have this ideal cause its always changing. Funny thing I came to pick her up one day from school and everyone was saying bye Olivia and chatting with her..... and I looked over at her and she smiled the HUGEST smile and said MOM I AM SOOOOOO POPULAR!!!l LOL HUGS Steff
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Post by CC on Oct 2, 2009 21:50:31 GMT -5
Jackie I wish you and Emily the BEST on finding just the right place for Em. From what I have read I get the idea its much easier to find housing in your area then here in New Jersey. This subject is one I am very interested in even though Chris is only 16. In New Jersey... "Pam Ronan, public information officer for the state Department of Human Services, reports that more than 8,000 wait on a list for supportive housing such as this in New Jersey, and 4,950 of these are on the "priority" section of the list because their parents or caretakers are both over the age of 55. The state Division of Development Disabilities (DDD) already funds roughly 7,000 people with disabilities in community residences — everything from condos to apartments. That includes close to 4,500 residents of group homes like Spectrum's, for which the state provides funding, Ronan said. As seen from these statistics, she said, "there is a demand for homes for people with developmental disabilities particularly as family members are getting older." I do worry in our State what will be available for my Chris My dream for Chris is for him to be able to live one day at www.pathfindervillage.org but in order for that to happen I would have to win the lottery. Its just so expensive but one very very cool place. Again wishing you the best with all this. CC ~
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Post by Chris too on Oct 2, 2009 22:16:05 GMT -5
Move, CC. Move before it becomes an issue. Heck, let's all just move to Texas - there's plenty of room out there
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Post by Jackie on Oct 4, 2009 19:14:12 GMT -5
Emily went last night for a sleepover...and the only report I have so far is from Katie..."she seems to be on Cloud 9" (said in a voice as if she couldnt believe that ) And from Emily "It was a blast"...hope to know a bit more tomorrow Jackie
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