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Post by Emilysmom on Jun 28, 2011 7:42:01 GMT -5
We've had tough decisions to make on Emily's behalf for nearly 20 years now. We've always done what we thought was best, and have allowed her to help with those decisions.....most times!
She graduated from high school last month and when we did her last IEP, we set it up for her to be in what our county calls "The Independence Program" next year. It is a program that is located on our college campus, and they have a very good reputation. There is a different focus for each day; two days a week, they go to job sites, they work in an apartment on campus, they grocery shop for college faculty, they do some school work, etc. I was very excited about this possibility for her!!
So, a couple weeks ago, Emily attended a week long camp at Tennessee School for the Blind. She came home from that camp, raving about how wonderful it was.....and I was thrilled that she had such a good experience. However, she is now saying that she plans to attend that school full time in the Fall. (Apparently, someone named Mrs. Parker talked to her about the school and Emily is convinced that it is the BEST place for her in the Fall.)
I was blown away! ! ! This is a residential school, where Emily would go on Sunday afternoon and not come home until Friday afternoon! I am just SO not ready for this yet!!!!!
So............we are weighing options at this point. I am concerned that she might have the idea that this school would be like a full time CAMP; fun and games!
She is technically considered to be "legally blind", so she still meets the criteria to go to this school..........but is this the best possible placement for her in her last 2 years of "school"? (She can go until she turns 22).
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Post by Jackie on Jun 28, 2011 8:11:33 GMT -5
well nothing needs to be forever...and if you think she understands the school for the blind program and what it will be like...I would let her go there for a while at least to pick up some of the skills she is going to need vision wise. Then if it doesnt pan out...I am sure she can get back into your school districts program. Don't be afraid of the residential aspect...she will still want to come home....LOL...
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Post by Googsmom aka Jennifer on Jun 28, 2011 10:16:39 GMT -5
I agree w/ Jackie. Let her try it  I would feel the same fears as you but I know the Uno clan would talk me into letting Brook go so here I am to talk you into letting Emily try it  |
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Post by kg91207 on Jun 28, 2011 19:06:50 GMT -5
Oh gosh...I am so far from having to make a decision like this, so I'm not much help. In my mind Kaelyn will always be my baby girl living right here with me doing what I say. ha ha ha. My BFF has informed me that your children grow up to do the opposite. LOL!
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Post by kittkatt on Jun 28, 2011 19:07:20 GMT -5
Wow. Sounds like a wonderful opportunity for her to learn some skills she will need...........but I know that Mom is just not ready. But, like Jackie said, maybe she can go for a while and then you can reassess whether it is a good placement or not. I am going to be facing the live-away-from-home thing in the getting-a-little-too-close future (Rhienne will be 16 in January) so I will be following this closely. I have really enjoyed following the "other" Emily (haha) and I look forward to hearing stories from you about your Emily as she goes into adulthood. BTW, I wanted to put an exclamation point after the "haha" but for some reason, my number 1, and therefore my exclamation point, does not work. I have to use the 1 on the number pad but there is not exclamation there. Sheesh.
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Post by Emilysmom on Jun 28, 2011 19:09:52 GMT -5
Brandi.......that's just the problem! ! ! A very very short time ago, I too thought that Emily would ALWAYS live with us and would always just do what WE thought was right! ! ! I can not tell you how FAST the years have flown!
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Post by Chris too on Jun 29, 2011 13:44:39 GMT -5
All I can say is better you than me I'm having trouble with the notion that my oldest is getting closer and closer to leaving the nest and I just know that the others will follow her lead like a parade out of my home  I'm enjoying this time so much having them with me each day, and I keep the knowledge that all this is temporary on the back burner - way, way back there where I can ignore it ... mostly. I'm such a wimp. |
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Post by laurasnowbird on Jun 29, 2011 16:30:40 GMT -5
Oh my, Susan, that's a tough one. Easy for me to say, but I'd be inclined to let her try it if she likes it. You're lucky that she's comfortable away from home! Even when Ethan is at the home of an aunt or uncle that he loves, after a couple of hours he wants to come home.
There really is probably much to be gained for her in a situation like that, but I can't imagine how hard it would be to let her attend, especially given the scary things you've experienced this last year. Hugs, my dear, you're such a wise mom, you'll make the best choice, I have no doubt at all!
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Post by Emilysmom on Jun 30, 2011 7:40:13 GMT -5
Emily's vision teacher is SO in favor of Emily going to this school! She has raved on and on about how "life changing" it is, etc. She gave me the name of another student, who she recommended to go there a few years ago. This girl's mom was very hesitant, and the girl really didn't want to go either. I talked to the girl, and she gave me all the positive points about the school and said she thinks it would "change Emily's life". One of my concerns is that Emily keeps talking about a boy she met at camp....she refers to him as her "boyfriend". She thinks he will attend this school in the Fall, and that may or may not be true. I just hope that is not her ONLY motivation for wanting to go there.
Our school system starts July 25th. The other school doesn't start until August 15th. I think I am going to continue to think about this (ha ha.........it has been just about the ONLY thing I have thought about!) and go ahead and send her to school on the 25th and see how she feels about school after she gets into the routine with the current IEP we put together. (She will once again work in the preschool, which she LOVES. She will be in the dance class again. And she will go to the Independence Program at our local college at least 2 days a week.)
I never realized that some decisions were going to be MUCH harder than those I was making for her all those early years!!
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Post by Chris too on Jul 3, 2011 16:03:37 GMT -5
My mother taught me lots of great stuff, but I think the most useful of those lessons was in decision-making. One of the great techniques she taught me when I thought I couldn't decide between two things was to choose one at random (even flip a coin) then "live with" that decision for a few days or a few weeks if I had that kind of time. The "living with" the decision changes the way you consider it, really. You're no longer stressed out over having to make the decision (it's "made" for all practical purposes) so pretty soon you'll get either "buyers remorse" or peace and joy over the decision. Then with time to change if needed, you have your decision well made. It sounds just like what you've decided to do in this case with Emily going with the home school and the already-prepared IEP and living with that until it becomes clear that this is the right choice or the wrong one. And you seem to have ample time to find out which. I wait on the edge of my seat to see which it will be...  |
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Post by Emilysmom on Jul 3, 2011 20:49:37 GMT -5
Actually, Chris........over the past two days I am beginning to lean more toward letting her choose; and she has already told us what she wants to do.
I have been struck over the past few days by the thought that she is nearly 20 years old and she has clearly told us what SHE wants.
And really, if we just say "it doesn't matter what YOU want. You have to do what WE say, just because we already have your next two years neatly planned for you (Of course we would never say that, but by refusing to let her try this school I'm sure that's what she would feel like we were saying.)
We have worked hard the past 19 years to help her be as independent as possible, and now she's choosing a more independent educational setting. And I have to admit that MOST of the reasons I have for wanting her to stay here for the next 2 years of school are totally selfish reasons. I love having her here with us. I enjoy her company. I truly can not imagine going to bed at night without checking on her or getting up in the morning and her not being at home. She has a wicked-funny sense of humor, and it just doesn't seem like life would be the same here without her!!
And yet, I'm thinking she would totally thrive in that environment........
So, we are leaning toward applying for admission (I'd sure love to find that her vision was SO good they would not accept her!!!!!) and will talk to the school about all the things they can offer.
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Post by logansmom on Jul 5, 2011 11:26:19 GMT -5
Tough decisions, for sure . . . but it sounds like you're leaning the right direction to me. I'm a firm believer in that fact that "doors will close" if they aren't meant to happen. Kim |
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Post by Chris too on Jul 5, 2011 22:15:55 GMT -5
New adventures - both exciting and terrifying. Still on the edge of my seat as this story develops...
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Susan, Proud mom of Michael (32), Justin (25) Emily (22ds), and Jordan (20).
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I would feel the same fears as you but I know the Uno clan would talk me into letting Brook go so here I am to talk you into letting Emily try it 
I'm enjoying this time so much having them with me each day, and I keep the knowledge that all this is temporary on the back burner - way, way back there where I can ignore it ... mostly. I'm such a wimp.
