Today's phone call

[Jessie]

Jason's mother called this morning. Seems she would really like us to get moving on the legal aspect of her signing over her parental rights. Yup, she wants to sign over her rights . . . and here we just wanted her to give Brian full legal custody and she's willing to go the whole way! She just wants pictures and phone calls occasionally and will not contest anything.

She's so weird, she said that she may be coming up to Michigan to visit her boyfriend's family and would like to see Jason - but for him not to see her. She doesn't want to interact with him, just see him from a distance. Whatever! That's so bizarre.

However, she did say that although she loves him and she is his birth mother, she acknowledges that I am his mom now.

The whole thing is sad for Jason even though it really is in everyone else's best interest that she allows this to happen.

So, now we just need to come up with a couple thousand bucks to go through the legal process . . . on top of hubby trying to start his own business, paying for summer camp for Jason, putting an addition on our house, etc., etc., to get ready for the baby. But, we'll come up with the dough somehow!

Oh - and she was a little hurt that we didn't send her a Mother's Day card?! And . . . what did she expect that card to say - what a wonderful mom she is??!!

Weird, huh?


Jessie

[momofrussell]

So sad...

I don't know this gal... but she sounds like the DS scares her maybe? I have to commend her for her willingness to be THAT honest, even if quirky, and to be honest enough to sign over her rights. She may not make much sense in her line of thinking... but to her she does.. and man, she has BALLS! LOL

I know I have told you this before, but Jason is VERY lucky to have you as a mom! Not all step mom's can take over the position with true "momness" as you have! And your willingness so love him no matter what and search for answers on something you may or may not have known about before is truly remarkable!
I had a VERY cool step mom... You are too! Glad to know you will be filling the MOM shoes soon too!

I hear ya on those legal fees. Doesn't it just break your heart too? Or maybe it's just me LOL. Kevin is not Regan's bio dad, but IS her dad... if that makes sense. There WAS no other person ever... no one even on the birth cert... it says unknown... BUT.. for us to have him legally adopt her and I do all the paperwork and file.. it STILL costs $495 dollars!! Now, to some of you that might not be a bad price.. but man... just to hand some papers to the court... We know there are other ways that money could be used for us right now. So, then I looked into JUST a name change right now, because Regan truely is ok with it the way it is, but with school and such, I want her to at LEAST have the same last name, and not my maiden name. BUT... the cost to JUST file a name change is silly too! It was like $100 or something like that... I mean come on! Cracked me up.. and MAN, did it make me sad too. I think... gheez, just want to place "Bievenue" at the end of Regan Maylene and it costs THAT much either way I slice it!

Ok.. sorry to digress into my own world of legal matters and filing fees.... but I feel for ya!

A.

[ashleysmom]

WOW what a strange-o!!

Keep that kid away from her sounds like she, has more problems than Jason..

[Emilysmom]

Jessie~
I have to say that I'm glad she is willing to go all the way with this, and to get it done now....rather than later. Jason has a GREAT mom in you! I think in a way she is "wise" (I use that term loosely!) to not want Jason to see her. Maybe she just wants to see that he is healthy and happy, and knows it might be even more confusing and upsetting to him to see her? Maybe she still really does care about him, but knows she is not the mother he needs? Maybe she knows herself well enough to know that she wouldn't respond positively to him, and that could be hurtful? I don't know at all. Sounds like, no matter what her situation is, this is the very best thing for Jason.
Susan

[Kristen]

Um...Happy Mother's Day? Oh, okay. Freak. You are so close to getting away from her - keep your eye on the prize!

[CC]

Just wanted to share this here...

"What It Means to Be Adopted"

Teacher Debbie Moon's first graders were
discussing a picture of a family. One little
boy in the picture had a different color hair
than the other family members. One child
suggested that he was adopted and a little girl
named Jocelynn Jay said, "I know all about
adoptions because I was adopted." "What does it
mean to be adopted?"
asked another child. "It means," said Jocelynn,
"that you grew in your mommy's heart instead of
her tummy."

JASON will be OK and although it may be tuff to understand where this lady is coming from, sounds like in the end its the BEST for all

As a Mom, I can't understand how this lady can just walk away from her child BUT then again I have not walked in her shoes...

BLESSINGS to you all and CONGRATULATIONS on your soon to be Adopted son and Baby on the way. How very cool for you

CC ~

[laurasnowbird]

My grandmother (wise woman that she was) had a saying that I think is appropriate in this instance:

"Good riddance to bad rubbish!"

[samanthajosmom_12]

it sounds to me that she wants to do the right thing and give sole custody to your husband. i feel she wants to be in his life as a slient partner with pictures and maybe see him from a distance but not interfer in his loving home he has now. maybe she has figured out she cannot take care of him and she wants to be responsible enough . i mean i do not know this person but i know for me i could never do that. i love my girl to much. sue

[Jessie]

Kristen - LMAO - very funny response.

Annette - I think you are correct that she probably has more problems than Jason does.

I don't understand her at all. And, I can't get any other perspective on her from Brian or his family because they all feel so much hatred towards her for what she has done. They have all said (including his aunts, uncles, cousins . . . ) that they never understood why he stayed with her for so long. Well, had he known he could have taken Jason away so easily things may have ended sooner than when they did.

Anyway, I am very much a supporter of "walking a mile in other people's moccasins" (Indian part of me coming out!). However, she is close with her oldest daughter so I don't get this whole thing with Jason. I mean, most of you went through the same thing with not knowing your child had Ds until after they were born - you guys all deal with it and wouldn't dream of giving up your child.

And, they were so blessed to have a child that did not have any long-term health problems. He was premature and had to be tube fed for a while - that was it! She never had to deal with anything like most of you have to deal with in regards to medical issues.

I suppose it's not for me to understand, I'm not the one that will be judging her in the long run. But when she says things like being hurt about not getting a
Mother's Day card, she throws me for a loop! I mean Jason has no clue what Mother's Day is and Brian certainly isn't going to send her a card. And, even though I try to be a nice person, I will draw the line at buying a woman a Mother's Day card when I have taken her son into my home and is raising him without any involvement from her!

Ok, I guess I've beat that subject to death!

Jessie

[shellk]

Jessie,

WOW !! That whole things just really seems like a movie on Lifetime Network. I can't even begin to understand how somone wants to be an "outside silent" part of a child life. How anyone signs over the rights to a child I have no clue. But, I think that it should be something that mentally haunts them for the rest of their lives.

What a lucky young man Jason is to have a "True Mom" in you.

Michele

[momofrussell]

Well, there are some, fathers and mothers who are truly scared of disabilties. More then we can all ever imagine. They have some very off perceptions and preconceived notions on disabilties and I think that is what she might be going through.

Again, I do not know this gal. We all here love our kids no matter WHAT or WHO they are... the ones with DS and our other children... but there are some parents that truly aren't like that. Men leave their wives because of it, mom's give their babies up because of it. It's very sad.. and something hard for us to understand, because even on our hardest days with our child's disabilties and health issues, we'd never do it.



A.

[jonpaul]

Michele - I also wonder how anyone could sign over the rights of a child. Last year I gave up my dog for adoption and it still haunts me !! It will probably haunt me for the rest of my life. But to sign over a child, I could never imagine the pain. I would be an emotional wreck.

Adrienne - I remember that when I found out that my boy Tommy had DS I was very scared. However, once I was able to hold him and we looked into each others' eyes, the fear went away. His look gave me so much confidence and I am forever in love with the liitle guy !



- JonPaul

[Jessie]

Ok, so maybe I'm not done with this subject!

And, Adrienne and Susan, I will give in to the idea that she just can't handle Jason's disability. I mean, this is the woman who didn't want anyone to rock him when he was a baby, so obviously there were issues from the get-go. Maybe she stuck it out as long as she did because she felt she HAD to because she was his mother. Which, is true, she should have stuck it out. But, it's not like she gave him up at birth when she didn't even know him. He lived with her in the same house for TEN years and then let him go. That's the part that baffles me. All of you that had doubts or worries, all of that seemed to melt when you saw and held your baby. And those doubts and worries would be natural for anyone. But again, you guys got over it!

You guys have always complimented me on taking Jason in and all that, but Brian is really the one that deserves all the credit for where Jason is. Here is a guy that stayed in a sucky marriage because he felt he had to for Jason's sake. When SHE decided she didn't want to be married anymore, he gave up a really great paying job so that he could move away and raise Jason on his own. There is a bond between Jason and Brian that all of you can understand - a bond that I don't think ever existed between Jason and his mother. I will never forget one day a few months ago when we came home from somewhere (can't remember where we were) and Brian was getting the stomach flu. He ran into the bathroom and was getting very ill. Jason stood in the entryway staring at the bathroom door bawling his eyes out because he could hear Brian getting sick. He was so upset that Brian was sick! That kid knows his dad is his life line . . . and it's a wonderful thing to witness.

K, I'm really done now. And now matter how much I try to understand her, you can never convince me to buy her a card!!! LOL

Jessie

P.S. JonPaul - it's been several years since I gave away a dog and I'm still not over the guilt even though he ended up with a wonderful family. Hmmm, maybe if I take his picture off of my refrigerator I could move on! LOL

[shellk]

Jessie,

A HUGE Kuddos to your husband !! You must feel like a lucky lady for having that man. And I bet that bond between he and Jason is something to behold.


Michele

[momofrussell]

Yes, I too have a hard time understanding what feelings , well LACK of feelings, she is having. I just figure maybe it has something to do with the DS maybe... no one will ever know...

And yeah, you don't have to buy her a card if you don't want

Sounds like your hubby is one awesome guy! That is really neat the bond that Jason and Brain have! And Kudos to Brian to try and stick it out in a marraige for Jason!

A.