Somedays I hate therapy. Vent

[chrfath]

I don't post very often - more of a lurker I guess.

Veronica had a double visit today of ST and OT we usually only have one a week but they had to double up due to missing last week.

Any way...There are some times I just don't do the things they suggest. Scripting out play with Veronica is just not something I am interested in doing. Some of their suggestions just don't work for me. Maybe I am just a bad mama.

So I told the ST we hadn't done the one thing and she said "Well, they're your goals." In a sort of snotty voice. Geez. That sort of left a bad taste in my mouth.

She is doing tons of new things since last month. Saying cat when she sees the cat and sees a photo of one, signing - more and eat, drinking a smoothie from her sippy cup, she even did a side step today at the couch with me holding her hips.

Veronica is also at the age where she is very determined and knows what she wants. She lets you know in her own way too.

I guess sometimes it feels like it will never be enough. She is doing so much after months of nothing. She successfully used a straw today on the first introduction.

I don't really know where I am going with all this. I am just having a bad post visit day. I try to do all the right things but sometimes it is just soooo much. We also homeschool our 6yo and my DH is rarely home so this is all on my shoulders. He even told me today the therapy stuff is all up to me he just wants to love and play with her when he sees her.

Thanks for listening to me ramble on I know you guys would understand and just listen. Thanks.

[carolyn]

Dear Christi-\

Man oh man, I know your pain. I used to take John once a week to speech at a major hospital. It took me almost an hour to get there, 15-20 minutes to park and get into the building and then an hour of therapy and then reverse the process. Sometimes John was totally uncooperative and the whole thing was a waste. Sometimes he was a delight. Some times he fell asleep on the way there and was awful! We went through 3 or 4 different therapists, they were always leaving for one reason or another. Sometimes they said things I didn't like, like they had no appreciation for how much it took just to get us there, but mostly it was fine. I was so grateful when he finally got into school and started talking more so I no longer go to private therapy. It is totally worth it to go most of the time, but those other times were just such a drag! Keep up the good work- It gets better and better!

Carolyn

[lexybug]

Sometimes I hate therapy too!! Don't feel bad about not following everything they tell you to do. Your daughter will do these things when she is ready. I use to work myself over on trying to get Lexy to take things out of a container or put things in etc., well one day low and behold she just does this things. I think therapists are just trying to show us somethings we could be working on but that doesn't mean we have to do them all. Anyways, just don't worry and I agree I hate therapy sometimes too!!

[MB]

Vent away!

It will get better. I am so happy to read about the milestones she has achieved.

MB

[christie]

I can totally relate to your post and NOOOOOO way does that make you a Bad Momma.

The therapist can suggest and you can do what you can do. Therapy will not make things happen quicker just will help the quality and NOT every single suggestion has to be followed.

For me I found what worked best was taking the suggestions I liked and incorporating them into the day's activities.

Maybe the thearapist was having a bad day, personally I would just let her comment go, what does she know about everyday life with a child with DS and all that you do

CC ~

[tornadoxs2]

I was reading ur post and boy do i feel the same way the only difference is Benjamin has a wonderful Therapist and she makes suggestions and after she goes I try to do the things she suggested and if it works it works if not i tell her the next time it didnt work and she tries to show me a different way to achieve the same thing. I told her she is the one who went to school for it and she knows exactly which muscles to exercise and how to achieve it and she aggred

[rickismom]

Is your therapist an unmarried lady that has never experienced the realities that you can't always get to everything?
Most therapists will will accept occaisional "sorry, didn't get to it this week..." if you are normally OK. If your isn't than its her problem.
Also, your job is to practice with Veronica and get her to therapy. Her progress in one given week is certainly not your fault.

[Jackie]

LOL...man can I relate to your post...but in a totally different way....

You see...in a former life...I was an Occupational Therapist.........and ONE case in particular I really remember. I had a young girl with CP ...who had really loving and caring parents....

They brought her into the medical center for therapy once a week....one of our major goals was having her learn to put on her own coat.....

I remember my haughty 22 yr old (childless myself at this point) attitude in saying....you know...if you have to...just get up 30 minutes early each morning so she will have time to do (struggle) with this herself each day before the school bus comes!......sure.......

Wow...now over 30 yrs and 4 children later...I still look back on this with deep regret...I was so ignorant!

I am so happy I had Emily almost 25 years ago when our therapy was more just a time to get together with therapists and other moms and talk about normal development vs where our kids were at the moment.

Her early speech therapy was sitting in a group of moms with babes on our laps singing action songs....and laughing with each other.

The only REAL therapy Emily got was from a PT who instructed us all in proper sitting and some little exercises we could use to avoid problems like circle sitting...W sitting... etc. It was all so LOW KEY.

Frankly I never took Emily to anything beyond the early intervention years.....We did do a bit of PT when she was 3 to try to improve her trunk tone and balance....and then at age 3 I helped start a "communication class" with a speech pathologist for our kids basically to learn to interact and talk to other kids.....It too was low key and fun...more like a preschool.

I have always maintained that if we had raised Emily with just our family on an isolated mountain top ....she would have turned out just the same....and we are very happy with her now.

This is not a post AGAINST therapy...it certainly has its place in the scope of things....but just to say its not a magic pill and missing sessions or feeling guilty about not doing something shouldnt stress you out.....you must learn to set some priorities...especially if you have other children...and don't forget your significant other in all this either.

I think everyone has to find their own comfort level with the amounts and time spent on it. There is no generic formula.

Playing and including your child as if they had no disability in your family and their activites is one of the best therapies around...and best thing of all...its free...and you are the therapist and totally in control.

Just a chime in from a mom who has been around the block and back.....but I do still keep up on current trends....cuz I have several friends here with young babes who have DS.

Jackie

[Debbie]

Christi,

I think you know your daughter much better than this lady.
You know what Veronica is doing since you live with her. Why not just try and do different things (the things you want to do) and take her advise with a grain worth of salt? After all, you are hiring her. It is not the other way around. ;D

[Chester]

I could have written your post!

We have a son who will turn three soon. We have wonderful birth-three therapists who come out to the house (1, 2, 3 times a week) But it feels like all I do is clean the house up, making sure JT has eaten,slept, etc. before they get there, wait for them to show up, and then figuring out what I can do with the rest of the day before the older kids get home from school.

I'm thankful that the service is provided, and it (mostly)has been beneficial, but it would be nice to have some time to schedule what we would like to do!

When JT turns three he will start "school" early childhood education. He'll get all therapy there.

[momofrussell]

Man, I can relate to some of those feelings!

To be honest, I am NOT a "theraputic mom". I will ALWAYS tell the therapists and teachers that. Some of us are, and some aren't... I am one who is not. I have had our ST this year get a little snippy with me at our last IEP... but I just held my ground. But man do I understand your frusteration.

Rest assured, it IS for a good cause and you can ONLY do what you are phsically and mentally can do. And your child is going to grow physically and mentally whether you help or not!!! So try not to beat yourself up so much, K?!

Hugs to you!!!

A.

[Kristen]

Oh my, you sound like me! I get so burned out on it all sometimes, all I want to do is cry! I remember it being hard at around 15 months, then 2 and now 2 1/2 with him not walking it got stressful, too. It's like when they make a big jump everyone eases off you for a while, KWIM? As if you ignored them up till that point or something Please, I have them coming here looking at my "typical" 15 month old saying, can she say this or that? OMG! LEAVE HER ALONE! Sometimes I think they can't help themselves.

[updowns]

Don't beat yourself up - you are NOT a bad Mama.

I can totally relate - you know, sometimes real life gets in the way of therapy! You got to be realistic, do what you can and don't sweat over the rest - Veronica is gonna do all this stuff in her own sweet time anyway!

Enjoy her!

Stella