Post by ALLISA on Feb 6, 2005 10:06:19 GMT -5
Hi all !
I need some help/thoughts from anyone who has been through a divorce and weekend visits. I can let "some things" slide...routines don't need to be rigid or the EXACT same as me.....BUT.....
How do I make my ex understand that I, Erin & the staff at her school have worked REAL HARD all week to potty train & re-inforce and then the weekend comes and he puts her in a diaper & refuses to try any of the methods.
He refuses to believe that any thing will work with her !
Now granted Erin's potty training wasn't like my older boys and it IS A LOT OF WORK ! She needs to be put on the toilet every 45 minutes if she has not initiated it on her own in that time. She uses a lot of pictures for communicating.... and we have toilet pictures all over my house....which he refuses to use and then wonders "How does she let you know when she needs to go?"
I bought him a small potty chair for her to use at his house.... he won't use it !
He is just flat out refusing to do anything in that area. I am so frustrated because she is having so much success at home & school.
Beyond reasoning with him, becuase believe that will NEVER happen.....is there anything legal I can do ? I dread the thought of going to court again.....but I feel it is almost negligetn behavior because he is hindering her development.
Is there anything that can be specifically written for children with special needs or medical needs (as my son has Diabetes and we often butt heads over that as well) ?
Any advice would be great....my ex has recently moved back to our area and this is the first time he has had them overnight in about 2 years ! He has lived about a mile away for a month now and I found out QUITE BY ACCIDENT yesterday that he is living with a woman....he didn't bother to tell me or the children this in the month he has been here & wouldn't have told me at all.....but my son told me on the phone !
I had to drop my oldest son there that night becuase he was at a b-day party so I went up to meet her.....he told me it was none of my business & I had no right to meet her !
In case you haven't seen the pattern.....he is a control monster & wants to stress me out, push my buttons and upset me whenever possible. Knowing this I can usually ignore his tactics.....but how do I deal with this ?
I did meet her by the way, but if he had "gotten his way" he would have much preffered to drop the kids home to me, have them drop the bombshell that "daddy is living with someone & he leaves us alone with her"....he knows that OBVIOUSLY I would be upset that there had been no prior discussion of this and would have called him to inquire & he would tell me it isn't my business !
So any advice would be greatly appreciated !
Allisa
I need some help/thoughts from anyone who has been through a divorce and weekend visits. I can let "some things" slide...routines don't need to be rigid or the EXACT same as me.....BUT.....
How do I make my ex understand that I, Erin & the staff at her school have worked REAL HARD all week to potty train & re-inforce and then the weekend comes and he puts her in a diaper & refuses to try any of the methods.
He refuses to believe that any thing will work with her !
Now granted Erin's potty training wasn't like my older boys and it IS A LOT OF WORK ! She needs to be put on the toilet every 45 minutes if she has not initiated it on her own in that time. She uses a lot of pictures for communicating.... and we have toilet pictures all over my house....which he refuses to use and then wonders "How does she let you know when she needs to go?"
I bought him a small potty chair for her to use at his house.... he won't use it !
He is just flat out refusing to do anything in that area. I am so frustrated because she is having so much success at home & school.
Beyond reasoning with him, becuase believe that will NEVER happen.....is there anything legal I can do ? I dread the thought of going to court again.....but I feel it is almost negligetn behavior because he is hindering her development.
Is there anything that can be specifically written for children with special needs or medical needs (as my son has Diabetes and we often butt heads over that as well) ?
Any advice would be great....my ex has recently moved back to our area and this is the first time he has had them overnight in about 2 years ! He has lived about a mile away for a month now and I found out QUITE BY ACCIDENT yesterday that he is living with a woman....he didn't bother to tell me or the children this in the month he has been here & wouldn't have told me at all.....but my son told me on the phone !
I had to drop my oldest son there that night becuase he was at a b-day party so I went up to meet her.....he told me it was none of my business & I had no right to meet her !
In case you haven't seen the pattern.....he is a control monster & wants to stress me out, push my buttons and upset me whenever possible. Knowing this I can usually ignore his tactics.....but how do I deal with this ?
I did meet her by the way, but if he had "gotten his way" he would have much preffered to drop the kids home to me, have them drop the bombshell that "daddy is living with someone & he leaves us alone with her"....he knows that OBVIOUSLY I would be upset that there had been no prior discussion of this and would have called him to inquire & he would tell me it isn't my business !
So any advice would be greatly appreciated !
Allisa
Soooo what if you expain to him that him refusing to help is making Erin stay longer in diapers and/or pullups and they cost lots of money soooooo you need more money from him weekly to cover the cost 
Bet he will get it then