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Curious
Mar 8, 2005 11:53:41 GMT -5
Post by WANDA3CEE on Mar 8, 2005 11:53:41 GMT -5
Hi to all My Mia is now 13 month. I find my self fowlling and staring at people with DS. The problem is as a child and now as an adult the only person I know that has DS is my own little girl Mia. I am curios to see them when there are 3, 5, 10, 13, 16, 19, etc.. I want to talk to them, or there parents. I just do not know how to approch them. One time I saw a yong girl in the airport and I fowlled her to the bathroom. I caught myself then I truned aroud and went back to the waiting area. Just the other day I was in costco and a girl with DS sat down next to were I was sitting and I was staring at her when she would look at me I would smile at her. She was probly 18 or 19 yrs old her mother was waiting on line to pay for what ever she was buying. All I could do is smile at her I wanted to talk to her but I was scare to do so. Them my husband said lets go I said lets wait until her mom gets her I did not want to leave her there by herself. I would love to be around some family that has a child a little older then my Mia. I hope I do not sound like a stalker I am not . I am very curious. Has anyone gone threw this stage please let me know. Wanda
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Curious
Mar 8, 2005 12:01:15 GMT -5
Post by MB on Mar 8, 2005 12:01:15 GMT -5
Wanda,
I was definitely very curious when my child was younger. I too wanted to talk to parents and watch all ages of persons with Ds to know what to expect.
I remember sitting in the Denver airport when my son was only 9 months old. A family got off a plane with a young teen with Ds. It appeared he had a leash on and his mother was holding the handle. I almost stopped breathing when I saw it. As it turned out, he was hooked up to a portable oxygen tank with a long tube and his mother was carrying the tank. Must have had breathing problems that were incompatible with Denver's high altitude. I learned my lesson! LOL
MB
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Curious
Mar 8, 2005 12:09:00 GMT -5
Post by jeannette on Mar 8, 2005 12:09:00 GMT -5
Hello Wanda,
MeKyah will be 16 mths on 3/12 and yes, I am always curious when I see kids of any age with ds. I always ask if their child has ds and then I go on and say so does my baby girl. It immediately strikes a conversation and for I know it, we've talked for almost 15/20 min, sometimes much longer depending on were I am. We exchange stories, talk about what our kids are doing or not doing yet. It is usually a very good conversation. I don't every hesitate, I always talk to the parents.
So try it, you'll find it will be very helpful.
Jeannette
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Curious
Mar 8, 2005 12:22:03 GMT -5
Post by kellyds on Mar 8, 2005 12:22:03 GMT -5
There's a man who bags groceries at a store where I shop frequently. He has DS, and I have always been so impressed with him.
He smiled and said, "New baby!" yesterday when I checked out. I was soooo tempted to tell him, "Yes, and he has Down syndrome", but I was afraid I might embarrass him. I would like him to know how inspiring he's been to my husband and me. He's just such a nice, nice man and he seems to function like everyone else at his job.
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Curious
Mar 8, 2005 12:57:10 GMT -5
Post by alisonzmom on Mar 8, 2005 12:57:10 GMT -5
Hi Wanda,
I'm still very curious about people of all ages who have DS. I'm kind of hesitant to approach other parents but have stuck my neck out on several occasions and have had the best conversations! I kind of will watch how the family is acting before saying anything, sometimes you can just tell if people are going to be okay about a total stranger walking up to them, KWIM? And I think that I would have absolutely no problem talking with anybody who might approach me in the same way ( hasn't happened yet so can't say for sure!).
Does your area have DS support or parent group? We have a parent support group here, we have several parties throughout the year ( Valentine's Day dance, picnic, Halloween party, Christmas party) where lots of families and kids get together. One of my favorite things about these occassions is the chance to watch the older kids and young adults in action!!! If you don't have a group that does that sort of thing, maybe someone from Early Intervention could give you some ideas on how to connect with other familes who have kids of different ages with DS? Just a thought!
A fellow "stalker"!!!
Barb
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Curious
Mar 8, 2005 13:07:56 GMT -5
Post by meghans_mom on Mar 8, 2005 13:07:56 GMT -5
not a stalker, but i completely understand...i think i'm at an advantage because meghan attends a school that is only for kids w/ DS (up to age 5) so there are 300 or so families - plus young adults w/ DS who work at the school...So, I've never had to...plus I'm a very shy person so I'm not good at that sort of thing.
I've been approached by other moms, grandmas, cousins, aunts, (no men, hunh!)...in the grocery store, restaurants, baby store, mall, etc - all by people who have a friend or family member with DS. I'm not a big friendly person - quite shy, as I said - but I don't mind people approaching me or asking questions...I think if you can do it, approach the person -- I'd rather have someone come up to me rather than stare because you never know why someone is staring, LOL!!
laurie
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Curious
Mar 8, 2005 14:41:39 GMT -5
Post by Alice on Mar 8, 2005 14:41:39 GMT -5
Wanda, I think I have the same "problems" as you. I want to talk to parents/relatievs or people with DS, but I do not know how. I afraid to make that people feel bad or so. Also, having my son with DS, I strat feeling that I am related to all people with DS. They are sure different but also they have lots in common and I see them all having a little bit of my Luke. LOL Hugs, Alice
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Curious
Mar 8, 2005 15:22:22 GMT -5
Post by WANDA3CEE on Mar 8, 2005 15:22:22 GMT -5
I want to thank you all for posting. I am glad that I am not the only one. As for parent group were I live there is not one. I wish I could find one. I still look for them have not come across one yet.
Wanda
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Curious
Mar 8, 2005 15:45:36 GMT -5
Post by meghans_mom on Mar 8, 2005 15:45:36 GMT -5
Wanda - in what general area do you live? maybe someone here can help you out in finding a group...also have you contacted the NDSS and NDSC? THey may know of a place that has a group you can meet with. hugs, laurie
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Curious
Mar 8, 2005 16:58:29 GMT -5
Post by Jessie on Mar 8, 2005 16:58:29 GMT -5
I feel the same way. I feel like I can spot a person with Ds a mile away now, whereas before Jason was in my life I didn't really pay attention. Just another added bonus for having him in my life I guess, makes me more aware of other people.
He is in a spec ed school with children with various conditions, not jus Ds. However, one of the boys in his class that has Ds just fascinates me because of how well he speaks. I would love to talk to his parents, but I just haven't run into them yet at school.
I guess, how would you feel if someone came up to you and talked to you about it? I bet that most people with Ds or family members with Ds would be ok with you approaching them in a polite way.
Jessie
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Curious
Mar 8, 2005 18:23:47 GMT -5
Post by laurasnowbird on Mar 8, 2005 18:23:47 GMT -5
Greetings from a fellow "stalker"! LOL
I have approached many parents of children with DS since Ethan was born, and had some great conversations and referrals from them. Just yesterday I was in Meijer (grocery store) and there was a much older mom with a daughter who appeared to be in her 50's with DS. I very badly wanted to talk to them, but had to get back to pick Ethan up from school, so I didn't have time.
I don't mind at all when people ask me about Ethan, I agree with Laurie, I'd rather have people ask than stare!
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Curious
Mar 8, 2005 19:38:57 GMT -5
Post by Emilysmom on Mar 8, 2005 19:38:57 GMT -5
Wanda~ As the parent of a 13 year old, I would really welcome having someone approach me with questions about Emily!! I would love the opportunity to talk to them about her, and to see their baby. I remember being very very curious and wanting to see older kids with Down syndrome when Emily was a baby. You are NOT alone!!
Susan
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Curious
Mar 8, 2005 20:28:46 GMT -5
Post by Jackie on Mar 8, 2005 20:28:46 GMT -5
Wanda.....if another parent of a chld with DS approached me I would welcome their questions.........wouldnt want to turn it into a dog and pony show...put my Emily thru her paces in front of them........but would love to talk...and so would Emly who wears her DS like a badge of honor....LOL.
But...I think you need to be careful....I know there are some out there....especially parents of kids a bit younger....who seem to get upset thinking others recognize that their kids have DS.
Everyone is different so I think you do have to be careful who and how you approach people. The best way is to lock eyes and share a mutual smile...then you know its ok to talk.
Jackie mom to Emily almost 25
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Curious
Mar 8, 2005 22:49:29 GMT -5
Post by nica1 on Mar 8, 2005 22:49:29 GMT -5
I can totally understand, my Adam is 6 now and I still get so excited when we are somewhere and we see another person w/ DS......... And I will try to make contact ......... On the other hand there have been times when I can tell someone is watching us and I start thinking why? And then I think maybe they too have someone in their life that has down syndrome...I always try to make myself believe it is a positive reason they are watching us. But I would love it they came up and said I have a daughter, or niece, or cousin, ect. with down syndrome and start a conversation with me, other then just staring at us. I have had people actually come up to us and do just that and i love it, who doesn't love to brag about their kids!!!!! So I say go for it take care and i truly hope you find someone near you. I know some of my new best friends are other moms i've meet that also have kids with ds.... good luck, Monica
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Post by christie on Mar 9, 2005 0:03:06 GMT -5
WANDA, for me I am never sure that the child, young adult or older adult has DS 100% that I actually don't even notice. BUT my sweet hubby and sweet sweet daughter are always pointing out to me when they see another with DS. Colin actually LOVES to go up, and does go up, to others when he notices the DS. I can honestly say in 12 years now, he has maybe met 2 families that seem taken back that he approached them. We ourselves have been approached and in all honesty for me it depends on how they do it. Most times I have no problem but a few OMG I was floored by their comments As for the stareing I admit I do that myself when its pointed out to me bout the DS as I am very curious also. I remember a time when we were all out to eat and this woman kept stareing and I was ready to say WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, LOLOL but she then came over and said "what adorable children you have" from that day I thougth Hmmm stareing doesn't always mean a bad thing BUT I personally don't feel confortable approaching someone just because of DS, KWIM?? If I find the baby/child being cute or something I might notice with any other baby/child Yes I will approach but if I just notice the DS No I will not BUT as I said Colin will every time, as with anything I guess some are OK with it and others may not like it. BUT you'll never know if you don't try, least thats my opinion CC from New Jersey
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