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Post by kellie on Mar 28, 2005 11:18:08 GMT -5
Hi there! Happy Easter!
I'm sure hoping someone has some ideas on this.
My 2 1/2 year old son will not stop throwing his food. I have tried everything except starving him. I don't know what to do anymore and I'm tired of cleaning floors and wiping down my walls. He'll eat a bit and then chuck it. Also, we are having a problem with eating different foods. He'll only eat about 10 different things. He won't eat meat or vegies. He doesn't like most fruit. He's living on peanut butter sandwiches and fruit bars. He's making me crazy! AAArrrrrggghhh!
My other question is does anyone know if there are any books about disciplining children with D.S. or do we just do the same as other kids but with more repetition?
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Post by Valerie on Mar 28, 2005 11:33:33 GMT -5
I have NO HELP, just wanted to say I can relate! My son will be 2 in a couple wks, and he also throws food off his high chair. I've tried all kinds of things to get him to stop, nothing worked. I have noticed he doesn't do it as much, so maybe they outgrow it. (Hopefully!)
He seems to do it when its stuff he doesn't really want. He's rather picky about things, too, mostly fruit and veggies, and I think it's a texture thing, because he would eat them as baby food, but not as solids. I've been sneaking it in, like dicing up bananas in ice cream, (cause he LOVES ice cream), mixing it in oatmeal, etc. He's in a very independent streak, and won't let us help, so he will eat things like applesauce himself. (Rather messy, but at least he's getting some in!)
Now if it's something he REALLY likes, like pizza, NONE of it goes on the floor.
If you come up with something that works, I'd love to know!
As for the disciplining, I do the same as I did with my other child. My husband tends to go a little easier on him, but I think it's just as important if not MORE important for them to know the rules, too!!!! ;D
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Post by kellie on Mar 28, 2005 11:44:05 GMT -5
Valerie Thanks it's nice to know someone else is going through this. Maybe it's a boy thing. My daughter ate really well. I have to say that I'm getting really good at catching flying food mid-air. Maybe I should start playing baseball..Hee hee. As for textures I think that's definitely an issue but it's amazing how he'll eat any texture when it's junk food. I'm thinking of getting him in with a feeding team at the hospital just to get some tips. So I'll keep you posted if I learn anything.  |
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Post by Valerie on Mar 28, 2005 12:45:25 GMT -5
Not sure about it being a boy thing, cause my older son would NEVER throw his food away. He was an eater, and he loved his food. So this one being picky and throwing things is throwing me for a loop. Definitely not what I'm used to!
Please do let me know if you learn anything!
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Post by Chris on Mar 28, 2005 12:56:33 GMT -5
MB, where are you?  It's not a boy thing since my 3 1/2 year old does the same thing. She has gotten much better but still throws food sometimes. She spits water out for the fun of it and that drives me crazy. Eating has always been a struggle for Sarah and I hate to make it a power struggle. She doesn't throw food when she is hungry so the first time she throws, she is done eating. I tell her all done and take her out of the high chair. I do the same thing with her cup of water. Sarah also loves the fact that the dog is happily waiting for those morsels of food to fly. I have to put him in his crate at mealtimes because Sarah loves to feed him. Chris |
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Post by Kristen on Mar 28, 2005 13:12:13 GMT -5
Mine do that. I think it's the age. I wrn once, and the second time they get turned to face the wall (one minute for little miss, two minutes for big guy) and that usually ends it. I would say 9 out of 10 times now they let us know they don't want something by signing or handing it back to us and do not throw. They are both in a picky phase, though, which is the epitome of toddlerhood. PB and fruit bars are not all bad. Next week or month it will be something else! Mine went from LOVING yougurt and oatmeal to no way lady overnight. On to cheerios, toast and "bars". I just give them a vitamin, offer them new things all the time (cus you never know whe one will, oh, sit on your lap and eat a whole bowl of chili out of the blue - yes, Carter did that) and say what can you do!
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Post by Jessie on Mar 28, 2005 14:24:02 GMT -5
My thoughts exactly Chris - MB where are you and your thoughts on this?
My bet is it is something they will outgrow. My Jason is a great eater and he HATES to drop food - he is soooo picky about making messes (makes me happy ;D ). But, I have seen pictures of him when he was probably 2 or 3 and he was a mess along with the surroundings - so it's probably a typical toddler thing.
I know, that doesn't help much when you are having to clean up after them, does it?!
As far as discipline, we try very hard to treat him like we would a non-Ds child - meaning we try to be consistent with his discipline, let the punishment fit the crime and do not be an empty-threat type or parent. Brian tends to want to coddle Jason more, and I guess that's probably natural. But, we do find when we are consistent and stand our ground with him, the bad behavior turns around.
Hang in there.
Jessie
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Post by MB on Mar 28, 2005 15:37:14 GMT -5
I am flattered you guys asked for me! Thanks!
Our guy was a very picky eater at that age. We talked to a nutritionist and she said he was hitting all the food groups over a two week period so we relaxed. Yes, people can survive on juice, milk, grilled cheese, pizza.
As far as the behavior I have some thoughts.
Throwing the food cleary means at least one thing - I don't want to eat it.
I would rather tick off my mother than eat it.
It doesn't taste good enough to eat.
I am not hungry.
In any event, throwing food is unacceptable. Removing the kid from the table teaches the kid to throw food to let the parents know he no longer wants to sit in the high chair. If you are going to remove him, remove him to a place that is worse than the high chair.
I would put a playpen in the most boring room of the house with no toys whatsoever. This will make dinner with the family seem a better option.
Or you could put him in a corner, facing the corner, but still in the high chair. Both of these were already suggested, but here is what I want you to consider.
When he goes to kindergarten and the teacher insists he sit at the table and do his work, you want him to be ready to do this.
Meals are pre-k training in my mind. If your son is used to a woman insisting that he stay at the table and act appropriately, that will be one less hurdle to jump in kindergarten.
So, I think he should stay at the table, but still be disciplined for throwing food. The discipline should make him think that not throwing food is a better deal for him.
I think I would remove him from the high chair to the playpen for 3 minutes. Then bring him back to the high chair and give him the plate of food. Have him hand you the food and sign, "all done." The first few times you will have to do this hand over hand. You might have to do this up to 20 times in a row, but he will get the idea that if he throws anything, he spends a very boring 3 minutes by himself only to have to bend to your will later on.
This will be exhausting with him screaming and kicking. Ask yourself if you want him screaming and kicking at home with you and your husband or kicking and screaming in elementary school with you being called in for behavior management meetings. My preference would be to fix the table manners now before he is labled in kindergarten.
Best of luck!
Keep us posted.
MB
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Post by shellk on Mar 28, 2005 19:41:37 GMT -5
Hello, I would like to just add....That MB really gives some awesome advice, and take it from me. I have been coming to this board for like 3 years now and I have been where you ladies are right now. And I truly took the advice of lots of people here. MB gave me the advice that if you don't nip it in the bud now, it will only get worse. THAT IS SOOOO TRUE. My thing was feeling guilty about punishing her, I am very protective of all my kids, but that bond with Kourtney seems to be a REALLY deep chord. So, for me that is what I had to get over, now I am seeing a lot of difference in her. We took her to an Easter party yesterday and she listened, and didn't hurt any of the other kids. And on Saturday we celebrated her 6th birthday, and she did great.!! Miss Kourtney has grown so much since my constant posts about behavior, and I am proud to say that there is really a light at the end of this tunnel. And I wish you all TONS of luck with it. Stick to you guns, and never let them see you sweat LOL  Best of luck !! I'm still training myself Michele |
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Post by Jodi on Mar 28, 2005 21:32:57 GMT -5
My boy did the same thing. He enjoyed watching me pick up after him, it was a real hoot!
When he would start, I would ask him if he wanted "more" (sign more) or if he was "all done" (signing all-done). At first, he would just look at me and smile (grrrrrrr). Anyway, after asking, I would say "all done" (sign all-done), take him out of his chair, and tell him to "clean-up". I would have him help (to the best of his ability) clean up his own mess.
Sometimes I would have a ball nearby, and when he started throwing the food, I would show him the ball, and say "we can through the ball, but we don't throw food" (later had to change that to "throw a ball OUTSIDE, not INSIDE" - but hey, one step at a time, right?).
Later, he did the same thing with his toys. Throwing them all over the place all the time.
It took a while, and maybe he just grew tired of not getting the response he used to get from me - which resulted in him cleaning up.
Good luck to you!
Jodi
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Post by Renee' on Mar 30, 2005 2:35:01 GMT -5
If anyone has ideas on how to discipline let me know. We are having MAJOR issues here  |
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Post by edugatortracy on Apr 1, 2005 15:56:37 GMT -5
Kellie- HI! When I checked the boards yesterday, I read your post outloud to my hubby- he thought I had wrote it! We live the life you live- and apparently so do many others! Thanks for reminding me I'm not the only mom with food dripping from my kitchen walls!
And, to MB- as always you give great advice! I would love to sit in an IEP meeting with you!
Not new, just been quiet for awhile-
Tracy
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Post by kellie on Apr 2, 2005 17:25:11 GMT -5
Hi everybody!
Thanks so much for your advice! Sorry I haven't been on here a few days since I sent it. I was cleaning my walls and floors! ;D
I'm glad to hear I'm not the only Mom out there dealing with this.
MB I will try the playpen thing. I know he mostly thinks he's funny when he does it so I need to get disciplining him. It's hard though, he's just so darn cute! He looks at me with those big blue eyes, tilts his head, chucks the food and looks back at me real quick. He went through a stage where he put his hand to his mouth and went "uh oh". I had to tell my husband to stop grinning so much when he did it.
Geez it's hard being a Mom and being consistent when you don't have a consistent personality yourself!
Take care everyone!
Kellie
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