Self-feeding?

[laurasnowbird]

Just wondering when everyone's children began to feed themselves. We are still struggling with food issues with Ethan, but I decided that regardless of that, he needs to learn to feed himself at least some of the time.

He uses his honey bear with straw exclusively for drinking now, although he can drink from any straw. We just set it on his tray, and he drinks as much or as little as he wants. It has been a huge relief to have this out of the way before warmer weather hit, because I had concerns about dehydration during the hot months. I have been thrilled to see that he will drink when he's thirsty - when we come in from outside, or when we're out for awhile, I hand him his drink, and if he's thirsty he'll drink a lot!

As far as solids go though, that's been a little tougher, because most of his meals still come out of jars. I decided to start with his morning oatmeal cereal, and he fought me tooth and nail about feeding himself. Anybody else experience this? After a few days, he decided I wasn't giving in, so he began trying harder. Now he will take 10 or 11 bites of cereal in a row before putting the spoon down and wanting me to do one for him. It took time, though. I started out by giving him four bites, then using hand over hand, making him do one. Then he got four more. The funny thing is, the kid can count! The minute I started to try three and one, he threw a fit! Anyway, after a couple of weeks, he's doing pretty well.

He'll also feed himself Ragu pasta express spirals (with a fork!) and some things like corn. (He'll also eat Cheerios and stuff like that) But I still cut everything else up really small. What did you guys do when you were starting self-feeding? Looking for any suggestions or tips from the pros who have been there and done that.

[donnita]

Yoplait "Yumsters" yogurt is made to stick to the spoon better than other kinds so it is easy for beginner spoon-users to eat.
Cassie can use a spoon and fork but does still use her fingers for some things. I still cut some of her food up in bite-size pieces. She prefers her food to look like everyone else's and actually reaches over to take my food when she doesn't want hers cut up.
Cassie had the most trouble feeding herself when she was very hungry. So at most meals I would feed her at first (five to ten bites I think) and then would hand her the spoon. Once she wasn't so very hungry, she didn't mind having to feed herself.
I also tried to feed her some things that she couldn't eat very well with her hands, so she would see that using a spoon could be easier/faster than using her hands...things like pudding, applesauce, yogurt, ice cream, yeah, mostly dessert stuff.

Good luck!
Donnita

[PaigesMom]

Paige "started" to self feed around 2 1/2 or so. She could hold a spoon and fork on her own at around 2 but she wouldn't use it. She would hold the utensil in one hand and then use the other hand to eat with!

Now at 4, she still wants me to feed her sometimes when it comes to things like rice or spaghetti, things that are harder to keep on a spoon. I still cut her food in smaller pieces because she does have a tendancy to mouth stuff (although not as bad) and she will choke.

We used things like applesauce, pudding, mashed potatoes for the spoon, and waffles/pancakes, sliced carrots, basically anything that was EASY for her to stab with a fork. She's good with a fork now and requires hardly any help.

As for drinking - open cup didn't come until very recently, and she still spills/misjudges how much she takes in/chokes. She mostly drinks thru her Playtex straw cup.

Good luck, it can be frustrating, but does come with time. I think Ethan's doing great, and sounds much like Paige did at that age.

Debbie

[justinsmom]

Justin was 1 1/2 when he started eating with a spoon/fork, actually he wouldn't eat anything for us until I decided to give it a try low and behold that was the problem he saw his sisters using them and he wanted to too, but hate to say it but climbing out of the highchair followed too soon after that, he would climb out and go and sit in the regular chair with the rest of us even though we had his highchair right up to the table with us. Feeding has never been a problem I think it's because for the longest time chewed on EVERYTHING. We also started out with spaghetti O's I would put a couple on the tray and then some in a bowl with his spoon, he would fight to try and pick one up and then show him it was better with the spoon. Oh by the way don't know if you have them yet but they have small spoons with holes in them to allow excess juices to strain threw and to help cool the food off and they have a nice little curve to them that helps for the grip.

[meghans_mom]

we did alot of finger feeding w/ meghan at first...grilled cheese, chicken fingers, etc cut into bite size squares, etc that she could pick up and feed herself. Later we did hand over hand w/ poking with the fork. I found it hard to find a good fork for her...one not too pointy but yet one good enough to stab the food with and have it stick.
Someone else mentioned the gerber spoons w/ the holes...those things are great. Also, playtex (maybe?) sells a plastic fork/spoon set that is curved so with an 'inexperienced' grasp the child can direct the food into the mouth. If you hold it in a grasp, the spoon doesn't stick out the long ways, it's sort of sideways.
I think I bought every brand/type of spoon and fork out there :-D
I can't exactly remember when MM started to self food w/ a spoon, but as I said, we did TONS of hand over hand...I'd have to look in her baby book for a time frame.
A good trick to thicken foods is to crush up graham crackers, rice crispies or such to make the food thicker so it's easier to stay on the spoon.
One favorite that Meghan always loved and you can make it as thin/thick as you want, and add lumps as the child can add more texture (and sorry, it sounds yucky but both my kids loooove this)
take graham crackers, crush em up, soak in a little milk to soften and mash with bananas. thin if needed, with milk. Good heated, also.
it took a long time but meghan does really really well now. she still has a little trouble w/ her fork -- but she's getting there,
and also - something to remember -- because of the low muscle tone our kids have -- not only can these things be more difficult to do
but they also get more tired more quickly.
So grasping a spoon or a fork for a prolonged period of time can make them more tired and less apt to want to self feed.
a good idea is to have your home PT (yes, PT) supervise a feeding. Positioning, etc in the high chair can make or break the way a child can feed himself.
Also, the OT can give you some tips too on modifying a spoon or fork to make it thicker and easier for a child to grip.
good luck! and hope this helps some. laurie

[Claire]

We sure did! After 2 months of trying, and I mean really trying he still would not hold the spoon himself. It was like it burnt his fingers or something. He would fight us any way he could, by turning his head to actually having us do with some struggling do the hand over hand. Then one day I went to pick him up at daycare and to my surpise he was sitting there with all the kids eating a pudding on his own. I figured since the daycare knew we we're working on this so hard that they had kept it a secret for us for Xmas. Well I told the EA "Oh my God Adam is feeding himself" which she replied "Oh he's been doing that for a while" Little brat he was playing us. When I got home for lunch we did the same as usual and he would not grasp the spoon at all, so I said fine, I guess you're not hungry and put him down for his nap. (of course meanwhile worrying all afternoon that he hadn't had lunch) . Well dinner time came and he was so hungry he grabbed the spoon before we even tried to do anything. ;DJust to let you know that sometimes the kids can play us, after all we had been feeding him for 3 years so why should it changed. ;D ;D ;D

[MaggiesMom]

Laura,

So glad to hear that Ethan is still making progress with his feeding.

Maggie is a mirror image of Ethan except she still doesn't do any chewing! UGH!!!

She has her oatmeal every morning with a little pear or peach baby food mixed in for flavor. She eats almost anything that is presented in her bowls, with her spoons, and is chopped up in very small, (mashed almost) pieces. I still use my hand chopper to do meats. Everything else is usually fork mashed.

We have to do most of the feeding. But I'm with you, it's time to get moving in a new direction! Back to food boot camp! It worked for getting her off the sippy cup in one day and introducing new foods. (I'm a softie by the way, so I say that tongue in cheek!)

She still prefers to have half a small jar of baby food on the side to help the "big girl food" slide down. I have found that small sips of juice help keep her from packing the food in her mouth. She stuggles in moving it around and down.

But, we are glad she's come a long way in 6 months. I just hope she continues to make progress. She's kind of platuaed her lately and I want to get back on track. \

I found that the disposable cups with straws that Toys R Us sales are almost air tight! They are great for carrying around without making much mess. Maggie still has a tendecy to tip them up like a sippy cup, and they don't leak! I'm thinking it's First Years brand. But I'm not sure. They have a whole line of cups, utensils, etc that are primary colored plastic that says "disposable". But I have used them a 100 times and they are still going strong.

Take care. Let me know if you have any good ideas. I could use some!

Robin M - Maggie's mom

[Chris]

Okay, Laura, now I feel guilty! We really haven't worked very hard on self-feeding because Sarah doesn't eat a wide variety of foods and still eats mostly baby food, yogurt, and pudding. She also eats hard, crunchy foods (cheerios, goldfish, teddy grahams) that she feeds herself. We have had some success with using a fork. She is able to take a few bites of waffles or french toast. I cut them up in little peices, stab it with a fork and set it on her plate. Sarah will pick up the fork and feed herself then sets the fork down. Sometimes I will use hand over hand to stab the food. We have also tried cut up pieces of fruit.

I have tried helping her use a spoon with yogurt (she prefers Yoplait Custard Style) but the spoon is more difficult and messy! I guess my biggest problem is I hate having a dirty kid and she hates getting cleaned up after feeding.

Chris

[MaggiesMom]

Hey...I forgot to mention that our feeding therapist told us not to even think about self feeding until we dealt with the chewing and sensory issues associated with her food.

So we purposely havent' pushed the self feeding stuff. what does your therapist say?

Robin M

[Ericsmomma]

Its funny that this subject has come up....I've been brow-beating myself about this for the past 3 days. Eric has a new OT for the summer months, and she highly recommends that he start feeding himself. She told my hubby that I shouldn't still be feeding him, and its ok if he uses his fingers, and to not worry about the mess!
I wish I were there, cuz the mess isn't something I worry about. Ever since Eric was able to sit in a high chair, he has thrown his food...if I didn't feed him, he wouldn't eat. And he is a little skinny guy, so I didn't push it. I have tried hand over hand, and he will sometimes do that , but mostly he will push his food off the plate onto the floor (our little Shiutzu LOVES Eric).
So I guess I just gave in, and am still feeding him.
But the boy is definetely crafty...he will do much better at feeding himself in school. He will at least attempt to feed himself, and then the teachers will usually finish up feeding him a few spoonfuls. Sounds like it may be a MOM-CHILD power struggle at home...and the CHILD is winning! I'm not kidding, its like the kid's arms are broken...he won't even lift them. I've actually seen him use his mouth to slurp up small pieces from the plate instead of using his hands!! Oh well, I guess we'll keep trying...Dolly

[momofjordan]

That is so funny. I have been really thinking about this lately. Jordan can feed himself crackers, kix, cherrios that stuff. But, I have to help him with the spoon and fork... He will feed himself the one bite and then let go of the fork... Not sure how to keep him holding on to the fork and stuff.. any ideas. I used to worry that he would not eat if I left it up to him... but I know he won't starve... He has his 2 year appt next week and I think he is close to 30 pounds and 35 inches tall so .... I guess he is doing ok. Let me know if you have any ideas on keeping the utinsils in his hands...
Thanks
Rene and Jordan

[momofrussell]

I have to say due to lazy mommy, Russell's reflux and lots of food issues and adversities, we put off self feeding longer than most would. Like Robin M mentioned, we had chewing and sensory type issues that the PT worked on with us until Russell was 3. We were still feeding him at that point. Russell never finger fed until a year or so ago.. he is now 6.

When we did do the self feeding thing, Russell was around 3 3/4 old or 4 ish. Reece was just a year. We had just moved from CA to IL and I had a table with a bench and two of those Little Tykes yellow chairs. I would use the bench as the table and put Russell and Reece in the chairs up to the bench and let them self feed. Russell did WONDERFULLY!!! I did lots of new tasks together with both kids.. there were at the same level for some things so it worked out easier for us that way.

Russell still has food issues but can feed himself now. He STILL won't feed himself a burger from Mccy D's but will eat one!!! He has only done that for a year or so!!!
Russell has a very limited food selection.. but he does feed himself now. Except for Breakfast LOL. That is my mommy time. I make breakfast for Reece and Russell and we go sit in bed and I feed them while they lounge and watch TV and wake up! LOL...

A.

[laurasnowbird]

Thanks for everyone's input. Robin M, before I forget to say this, we have had the same comment from our feeding therapist, wait until we have overcome the sensory issues and feeding issues. HOWEVER, I'm inclined to follow my gut on a lot of this stuff. Because Ethan has been doing the oatmeal cereal for a looong time now, I see no reason not to use that as practice with a spoon. He has no issues associated with that particular food.

My ST told me that he wasn't ready to give up bottles, that he just wasn't ready for a straw, but to be honest with you, I flat out disagreed. I agreed with her that he was unable to use a straw at that given time, but I felt his lack of competence was INTENTIONAL. He simply wanted no part of it. So we threw away his bottles, and I had him go with me out to the garbage and watch me do it. We had several awful days before he finally consented to let me put that straw in his mouth, but I wanted it done before the hot summer months. After he figured out I really meant it, he decided he would have to go along. He can use any straw, anywhere now.

I was laughing when you mentioned my "food boot camp" method. Did it work for you as well? We will be starting it again soon. It seems like there is a continuing refrain here from lots of us - our kids are able to do a lot more than they let on. They try to control what they eat, how they eat it, and when they eat it. Ethan's need to control is so strong that when I took a food that he has been eating a long time and put it in a bowl, he wouldn't eat it. He only wanted it out of the jar. I guess he thinks if it's in a bowl, it's "grown up" food. So we have been fighting that battle in our boot camp this week.

Sounds like Miss Maggie is making good progress though - maybe we just need to relax a little, LOL! Hugs, Laura

[Sherri]

Hey Laura,

Thanks for posting this topic!! I've read through it with great interest & thought I would share my 2 cents on the subject

I personally fed Jared for what seemed like forever!!! It just seemed to work out to be the easy way for us & actually it came about because Jared was my first child & I wanted to be the "best" mom ever to my precious little guy. So I thought feeding him his meals would make sure he stayed healthy & happy (Hope that made some sense, lol)

Anyway, in the long run.........we've sort of paid for it now. Jared is a very picky eater (which I am too, so that doesn't help), but I know he also has/had some food issues, but it's never been addressed through EI or even to date. (One of the down sides to living in a rural community is not having access to quality services or someone with the experience in this area.)

So with all that said, to come full circle..........it's been a nightmare since Jared started school all day!! I've been taking his lunch to school every day since about the 2nd month that school started. Part of the reason was because he is lactose intolerant & he started having some bm issues when eating the food at school. After I started taking his lunch, things got better in that department I also am amazed at the stuff they have on the menu that is suppose to fall in as a well balance meal..........hot dogs, ice cream, french fries. Now don't get me wrong......I know it's food too, but it's not something that we eat much in our house. I brought Jared up eating his veggies & in fact his favorite is sweet potatoes. The school mainly served mashed potatoes with milk added in about every other day

So I guess what I'm trying to say in this long drawn out post, lol ;D is that I know now that I didn't help Jared any by not letting him or out smart him & make him, lol ;D try self feeding sooner & providing different opportunities to foods that we don't normally eat. And Jared's biggest delay is in fine motor

I'm not sure that my words of wisdom are worth much, but I just wanted to share that what you're doing at home now will possibly be an issue when it comes time for your children to be in school full time. I'm sure that you're already aware of that since Ethan isn't your first, but I thought I'd go ahead & post any way because it's not something that I ever thought about way back when, lol

Take care & have a great week!!!
Sherri


Ps: I say "go for it" on the self feeding!! Wish you the best of luck!!!