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Post by BeatrizElena on Jun 27, 2004 7:44:01 GMT -5
Hi, I am ashamed to say that I am feeling discouraged with my little guy and his lack of abilities. I am not very organized. My two older children put up with mama but child with DS (Josh) is a different matter. He NEEDS structure! I'm just barely able to cope with everyday life. Josh thrived in pre-k. The classes he had over the last 3 1/2 years did so much for him. He learn very important skills and manners. Josh did well three weeks ago when he and I flew from the east coast to the west coast. I was very proud of him. He did get a little difficult on the trip back as he was tired and did not want to do all the walking to our next gate. But making a simple trip to the mall is dreadful! When he wants to go in another direction he sits down and refuses to move! He screams alot at home when he can't get his way. I knew this would happen when school let out! I ask the teacher to put him in summer school but that did not pan out. I am angry at my husband that he is so insensitive and can't see that invensting some money in a summer program would do all of us some good. I feel that if I can avoid taking him somewhere with me I will. Why go through the humiliation? Josh is absolutely adorable. But does not behave when he chooses. I know that in Pre-k he did not pull this baloney on the teacher. I am a "wimp", I admit! I am tired of his lack of good behavior. Also, I am certain that the public school will no longer provide the excellent teaching we became accustomed to. He moves up to kindergarten. He will just become another number. I visited three classes and saw how they treated other children with DS. Sorry for the pity party! I don't know where else to turn with my disappointments and tiredness!
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Post by ALLISA on Jun 27, 2004 9:05:05 GMT -5
Don't ever apologoze for a pity party here ! Sometimes you need to get it out and of course this is the place for that.
It is really hard to balance it all... and I don't think anyone knows a magic secret... just do the best you can and have faith in yourself.... faith that you can be as strong and infuential to him as his teachers are. Don't say you are a wimp... you aren't... you are tired & overwhelmed.... but you know wimping out helps no one....
As far as DH being insensitive to the issues.... he needs to help somehow and if that means Josh is home all summer with you then DH needs to pick up the slack... you are dealing wiht Josh all day and DH needs to then do dinner & cleanup.... if he is a good guy, then maybe this will work.... if he is like my ex, then maybe he will get sick of that real quick and do the summer program instead.
No one knows what anyone elses situation is like until they try to do it for a couple of days.
Erin is 4 and I have my days of discouragement for her too.... Eating sand is still a habit she LOVES and we jsut got back from the beach.... the first day was FABULOUS... she played and swam ... no sand eating at all !! THe second day.... I couldn't keep on her fast enough to keep it out of her ! Just when I think she has "mastered" something she digresses a little,.,,, it is frustrating and my mom suggests putting her in a playpen at the beach... but that doesn;t solve the problem... We love the beach & I want Erin to be a part of that...and I feel she IS old enough to not eat the sand.... so we just keep at it...a nd I keep my expectations up for her.... I feel like if I give in and put her in the playpen, I am holding her back from a lesson she NEEDS to learn.... does that make sense?
Even when it means more work for us.... I think the end result is worth it.... notice I said " I think".... I may throw in the towel next week to save my sanity... who the heck knows ??
Do what you know is best and for as long as you can... then come here to vent !!
Allisa
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Post by BeatrizElena on Jun 27, 2004 14:23:17 GMT -5
Your reply made me smile! I know I will repent of my whining and complaining. I truly love my little guy. He is beautiful and a brings so much joy to his father, brother, sister and me. We have always treated him just like anyone else. DS is never an issue. Yet, it is when I feel I have let him down and perhaps I have not managed to discipline him to behave better in public that I just get down. He is SO smart. He knows what he is doing. He does have good manners when he wants to use them! But I love him so dearly. Thank you for letting me come here and cry on your (collective) shoulders.
Beatriz
Mom to Josh, 6 years old
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Post by DereksMom on Jun 27, 2004 19:07:32 GMT -5
He sounds just like Derek (who is also 6). He did far better in pre-school than he did in K but I think it had alot to do with the aide that he had and her letting him get away with so much. I finally put my foot down in March but should have done it alot sooner.
I, also, avoid taking Derek out in public when I dont have to. He knows right from wrong but still does it anyways. He is getting good at knowing when I count to 3 that I mean business, but will still misbehave until he realizes I mean business. Taking him shopping is a nightmare unless he is in a shopping cart or stoller. He is here, there and everywhere, pulling things off the shelf, even when he knows he is not supposed to. He has very good manners and is too darn cute. When he does something he is not supposed to and gets reprimaned for it he says "oops sowwy". Its just too darn cute...LOL
I totally know where you are coming from and am really hoping he gets over this stage soon. He is going to be in a summer program 1 half day a week which will be good for him as I know that he is really going to miss school as he even asks to go on the weekends.
Good luck with Josh and remember to be the boss. I know it is hard cause he is just so cute but its got to be that way or it will get worse.
Hugs
Allison
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Post by christie on Jun 27, 2004 21:09:00 GMT -5
OMG girl, Christopher is 11 and 1/2 now but Ohhhhhh Boy can I remember those days your speaking of  It gets BETTER I promise you 
Vent away anytime, this is the place that people can understand 
I can sooo relate not wanting to take Chris to the store OMG it was a true night mare for me. So what I finally did was just take him when I didn't really need things, so if need be I could just leave. We kind of made it lessons on how to act appropriately while shopping. Now I can honestly tell you, Chris is a pleasure to take shopping, most times, LOLOL
Structure and being consistent is very very important but Maturity has a big role too, I truly believe that.
I highly reccomend you talk to your case manager in Jan or no later then March to get a summer program in place for next year, in the meantime any chance you can get a sitter for a few hours each week to get out and do what you need to get done? Just a thougth...
Hang in there and HUGS to you
CC
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It gets BETTER I promise you 
