My son is having tantrums, need advice!

[erica0730]

hello everyone,

I have just started posting again and you guys have helped me so much in the past. My son has started pre school this year. He turned 3 in June so now he gets all his therapys at school instead of at home. The problem is he is a stubbern child and I know that very well. I have been getting notes and phone calls from his teacher saying that is is throwing tantrums during his therapy. She said he refuses to do something and then eventually throws himself down on the ground and has a fit. I was a little surprised. My son is a very manipulative child and knows how to work everyone but at home, he rarely throws tantrums. With me, he will push me to a point but will eventually stop. Another problem is that I am a single parent that works and goes to school. So, when I am working or at school he is with his one of his 2 grandmothers. Both of them spoil him rotten. I have had talks with both of them many times to get them to stop thinking of him as a little baby that doesn't know when he is being bad. They don't listen to me. They say they will to my face but once I am gone, its a totally different story. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this situation. I would love to hear ideas on good disapline techniques and how to deal with my mother and mother-in-law. This is driving me crazy. I feel like he is getting out of contol and I don't know what to do. Please help!

Sincerely,
Erica

[YoshsMom]

I've always found that the best way to end tantrums is to ignore them. If a child is not endangering himself, another person or breaking things, pay no attention. When I'm doing EI in a child's home and don't want to waste the session, I take out an activity I know the kid likes and play with it myself or with the parent. I talk about how I would like "Yosh" to play with me when he stops yelling, but I don't talk to him or make eye contact. It usually works.

[hannahsmomuk]

Hannah is only 2 and she is certainly very stubborn and throws little tantrums if we say no to her or take something off her she is not meant to have.

I am still open to trying new tecniques.

At the moment the only thing i do in discipline that she takes notice of is telling her "no TV if you are naughty"

She absolutely loves her programmes so if we take away the TV until she is good again she seems to understand

Is there something that your son likes that can be taken away and given back when he is naughty and then good again?

Hope that makes sense

sorry i can't help more

[rickismom]

Yosh's mom idea is very good, and I find ignoring Ricki does wonders.
Also, I see that many times, even at a young age, Ricki quickly picked up who she could manipulate and who not. So get this teacher to use behavior modification- to not allow your child to manipulate her--- and your son will probably pretty good with her once he sees that he can't get away with it---even if he can with others.