Venting going on here....

[CC]

I probably have brought this up here one time or another BUT Grrrrrrr

Our neighbor down the street the Mom is on lifetime disability due to depression. Due to that her 2 kids also receive SSI benefits till they are 18 and I honestly DON'T GET it Both her children are perfectly fine and the father works and not only does he work he just won a law suit against the company he worked for and continues to get benefits thru them They are leaving for Las Vegas for a week and return for a few days then off to the Bahamas K, am I missing something here, my guy who for sure is disabled is entitled to NOTHING till he reaches 18 What the heck is up with that??

Honestly I am not looking for a free ride and am happy that we have what we have BUT when I see others getting things that shouldn't be and my son not able to get help due to our income I say WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG with this system

K, just needed to get that out. I know life is not fair BUT come on, in this case it seems down right WRONG, least in my thinking.

CC ~

[Jodi]

CC - that's one of the things that irks me about people - I have relatives that have done this to some degree and it bugs.

There will always be people who do things by the book, and others who will take advantage. And yes, these people think there is NOTHING wrong with it - like a tax loophole - it's there for the taking.

Jodi

[Cbean]

Wow that's a lot of bs since the mother could go to a shrink to work on her depression, meanwhile we have to co-pay for EI and our kids get thrown into the wind when they reach 3. Keep venting...maybe the right people will hear?

[justinsmom]

CC I'm TOTALLY with you. In fact, within the last 2 months have received 2 statements from SSI saying DH made too much and they will be taking it out of Justins' checks grrrrrrrrr. I requested the waivers and mentioned that while DH may have made too much that extra money goes directly to get caught up on bills. I wrote them a 3 page letter attached to each. Their rules are totally ridiculous, such as Justins' checks are based on DH's income because Justin isn't losing money from work, yes granted but I am cause there is ABSOLUTELY no daycare around here that will take Special Needs kiddos especially if they aren't potty trained grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Then you have the fact that they use the gross ok now out of that gross comes taxes, 401K, uniforms, union dues and medical and then they give you an allotment for each uneligible child ok fine but for us both kiddos are on allergy and asthma meds with a copay of 22.00 each which comes out to an additional 242.00 dollars. Then they turn around and over estimate DH's income based on overtime . I also told them that prior to Justin turning 5 even if I did find a daycare none would transport him from there to school so how was I suppose to get him to school not to mention his doc appts., and therapy appointments each week if i were working. The system really STINKS!!!!!! and it totally burns me up when I hear things like this. Ok granted mom is missing out on money by not working but I will never understand why the kids are included and why it's still not based on spousal income too. Once you are in the system they make it really hard on you. We get a 3 page letter once a year to confirm are you ready for this if Justin still has his illness, the questions are like what is a typical day for him from the time he gets up til he goes to sleep at night. Needless to say I didn't answer the questions and instead sent the letter back with alot of hmmmm well some not so nice things, the first response was what are you thinking like the extra 21st chromosome can miraculously fall off and everything is fine, secondly I wrote Dr. Leshin's website addy for them to look up DS and suggested they took a look before sending me anymore stupid questionnaires.

[donnac]

CC -- We don't qualify for SSI either due to income, but qualify for our state TEFRA card (Medicaid). Thank goodness that we get that because our guy would probably have had to do without some therapies since our regular insurance never covered any of them.

I know of a lady who I'm pretty sure worked less than a year during her adult life because she just never wanted to. Husband was a police officer so it wasn't like they were making a lot of money, but again she just never wanted to work. She has been receiving a disability check due to some knee issues for years now (ten or more), and she is probably in her early 50's. Go figure. I'm all for folks who need the money and deserve it to receive it. But, she is happy that she never had to put much effort into what she now receives.

[ValerieC]

Alright CC,

I'll vent with you too. My DH lost his job shortly have Alethea was born. We had enough savings to pay one months bills.
I called SS to inquire about SSI and when asked how much was income was coming in said, "Nothing!"

SS asked how we were paying our bills,

I replied "with savings"

SS asked "How much is in savings?"

My reply "A couple Thousand." I think it was $2200.

SS "Call us back when you have less than $2000"

"OK" I said let me pay my mortgage then I'll have well under $2000.

SS then informed us if we have a vehicle worth over $2000 we wouldn't qualify either.

So here my husband is making $0, we have a disabled child, no health insurance, one months worth of savings, a minivan worth over $2000, and we qualify for NOTHING!

You're right the system stinks! How this woman and her CHILDREN qualify are beyond me. Obviously, she knows someone who knows how to dupe the system.

I was then told by someone in the system to put my car in someone's elses name then we might qualify. Thanks, but no thanks, I'll remain honest and let God take care of the rest!

[Jessie]

Yup, there are always those people who know how to work the system to their advantage . . . and us taxpayers end up picking up the tab for it. Meanwhile we struggle to get ANY type of service. I can't even get my insurance company to pick up speech therapy for God's sake because Jason was born that way vs. having had a tragic accident that resulted in speech loss.

What kind of burned me was when me and Brian got married and we opened a case with Community Mental Health for respite care and they want to use my income as part of the picture. Ok, I understand that, we shouldn't get something that we can afford to pay for ourselves, but what really ticks me off is that I don't have the right to call CMH and make an appointment on Jason's behalf! They insist on using my income but I don't have any rights to give input on the services that they won't provide because of my income. That's ass-backwards if you ask me! Like I said, we are ok with paying for what we should and we are not out to take advantage of the system - but the logic that goes into some of the rules is amazing.

I've always wondered . . . and maybe this isn't really nice to imply . . . but some of these people that know how to dupe the system, yet have never worked a day in their life or probably finished high school, how do they learn how to dupe the system and we can't legitimately get services for our kids??

How does that happen?


Jessie

[Ericsmomma]

Jessie,

I don't know the answer to that...so complicated. We can't get any additional help for Eric because we "make too much money"..we kinda fall between the cracks...too much income for benefits, but not enough income to provide it ourselves. We pay our own insurance, cuz hubby is self employed, and its a "killer". And our coverage is NOT that great...we ended up paying about $7,500 out of pocket last year. You can't win. Grant it, we had a terrible year medically, with hubby and me both in the hospital, but boy, you can't catch a break!! Health care and Insurance is a major problem for this country. Really needs some work.
My sister, who is a severe out-of-control diabetic, has been trying to get disability for 2 years.
Her eyesight is horrible (with glasses), and she has trouble with her arms going numb. She takes insulin AND oral meds and is still not under control. She also has chronic breathing problems due to some scarring in her lungs from frequent pneumonias. She's in her 40's, with 2 kids. Even if she could work, nobody will hire her! But she can't get disability. Now here's someone who really needs it, and its a big hassle. Can't understand some things!!

Dolly

[Jessie]

Dolly,

Those kinds of stories are just heartbreaking. And, when I hear about people in those situations, I'm really ok with us having to pay for respite care and, heck, speech therapy for that matter. It just burns me when there is a case like CC's neighbors that are completing taking advantage of things when someone like your sister truly needs assistance.


Jessie

[Chris]

This subject really strikes a nerve with me. My BIL is on lifetime disability because his back hurts. Hmmm..........he is able to keep his truck spic and span, keeps his yard and house immaculate but can't drive to work. I don't doubt that his back does hurt but my question is if he can manage to do physical work at home, why can't he go back to his nonphysical job? He tells everyone he has earned his "retirement" because he payed into the system for 20 years. He also gets SSI for his son. BTW, my BIL is 44.

Now this is getting really personal but I was on an unpaid leave of absence from my job for three after Sarah was born. My DH was teaching at a catholic high school and only made $35,000 a year. We had to pay $2,500 a year toward our health insurace premiums plus copays. We were paying $7,500 a year for insurance premiums and copays. We are a family of four and didn't qualify for squat, not even Medicaid.

I had to return to work last September but was fortunate enough to get a half time position. My DH quit his job at the parochial school and is teaching part time at the local community colleges. We felt Sarah needs us too much to both work full time. My husband has tried to get a decent full time job but has had no luck. Although I would love to be a stay at home mom, I can make the same amount of money working half time as my husband was making at the catholic school. I guess the whole point of this story is that we are doing our best to support our family and still be able to spend time with our kids. We do not lie about our income or assests so we qualify for nothing. My guess is that many people who receive long term or permanent disability are probably lying about their income and assests. I was told to take our savings out of the bank and put it in a safety deposit box and then we would possibly qualify for Medicaid.

I know a lady who has a daughter with Ds plus three other kids. She gets Medicaid. She is also buying a new $300,000 home, drives a new SUV, gets her hair done at a fancy salon, etc. I have a really hard time because her daughter gets all the therapy she wants and needs through Medicaid when we get nothing. BTW, her husband is self-employed. I need her to teach me how to manage my money! LOL!!

Chris

[rickismom]

Things are different here- every child with DS gets some government money (its instead of getting credit on income tax, etc.). But each case is judged by "how difficult" , and a percentage given to the child. Funds are given by that percentage. And of course, there are discrepencies (healthier kids getting more than more disabled at times). What irks me are:
1- forms sent out every few years to see if my kid still has DS (the family Doctor always has a good laugh at this....)
2 Several years ago, the disabled in Israel all stroke due to the low amount of funds given. Finally after a big fight, several concessions were gained, along with an increase in benefits. Right away, what happened? The "normal" percentage points given to children with DS was lowered from 50% to 3o%, so we ended up receiving the same amount.....

IE EVERYONE WILL TELL YOU THAT THESE CHILDREN ARE SOCIETIES RESPONSIBILITY___UNTIL IT COSTS SOMEONE SOME MONEY....THEN SUDDENLY IT IS ALL ON OUR DOORSTEP....

Anyway, ultimately they are G-d's children, and hopefully G-d will give us what we need to make it through.....

[Chris]

Rickismom,

We get no tax breaks for having a disabled child. If you are able to itemize, you may use a percentage of your medical expenses as a deduction. I just signed a petition asking for a tax break for parents of disabled children. Parents of typical kids can write off some of their college tuition but parents of disabled children who may never go to college get nothing.

Chris

[updowns]

You vent away Christie. That makes me so mad. The system over here is different but the same type of thing goes on, some people just know how to milk the system.

Stella

[YoshsMom]

When I was teaching, this used to drive me nuts. Kids getting SSI for LD and speech problems when all their therapy was provided by the school, the family was already on AFDC and medicaid, so medical bills were being paid. Then the parent got some dr to say the kid has ADD, so the SSI payments went up $500 a month, part of which went to the dr. In the meantime this child who could sit still for a 30 min lesson was getting Ritalin because the parent was afraid they'd get caught if they didn't give them the medicine. To top it all off, they wanted a letter from me saying that their child needed them at home full time because of his special needs. All so they didn't have to go get a job.

Now I know there are families that really need and deserve welfare. A lot of the parents I dealt with were really struggling to make a better life. But some just wanted a free ride. And now that I'm up to my ears in paperwork to get Yosh's medical bills covered, I resent them even more. And I'm very proud of having turned in all the ones I knew were cheating the system and of helping the ones that weren't.

[Jessie]

In my earlier post I was wondering what type of people could do this kind of thing or how they got away with it. Well, it dawned on me that I do know someone who scammed the system and how she did it. I had told myself I wasn't going to post about Jason's mother anymore, but this topic is sooooooo fitting in regards to the way she did things.

About two months ago, me and Brian were looking through all of the papers he had grabbed from their house when he and Jason left after the divorce. As a little background, Brian worked on the road quite a bit the last few years of their marriage - could be gone for a month or two at a time (which obviously takes a toll on everyone). So, his ex was left with handling all the stuff that goes along with Jason. When Brian left with Jason, he took what I refer to as a sabbatical in Montana for a year . . . I drew him out of it !!! Anyway, he never really looked at the paperwork he had taken from the house.

As we were looking through everything, I came across a report that a case worker had written up based on his observation of Jason - but mostly what the ex had told him about her situation with Jason. She was VERY big on getting respite care - as in every weekend Jason was gone to stay with the respite people and during the week whenever she could arrange it - she needed "her time". Mind you, she did not work - Brian was making very good money - so she had all day for "her time" while Jason was at school. But, in the paperwork, the case worker said that the ex needed the extra respite services because her older daughter had learning disabilities of her own and needed to spend one on one time with her. I questioned Brian about it (as I had never heard that before) and he said she was an A & B student - she didn't have learning disabilities. She also had Jason diagnosed with ADHD (that's why we have such are hard time getting his teacher to drop that notion - she has seen the diagnosis in other old school paperwork), and that Jason also had a left brain injury during birth. Therefore, he was just SOOOOO difficult for her to handle and needed the extra help. I thought Brian's head was going to pop off when we read that . . . it's simply not true, he did not have a left brain injury at birth! Brian pretty much hated her before that, but that just put the final nail in the coffin when he read that she told the case worker that Jason had even more problems then he really did. I don't think he even realized the extent of her conniving ways until after the fact.

But, I guess that's just the way some people are wired to work - if only they worked as hard at a job as they do at manipulating the system, then everyone could benefit from the services that SHOULD be available to all children.

There. Last story about the ex . . . for awhile anyway!

Jessie