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Post by Tammy on Aug 24, 2005 19:27:26 GMT -5
I was in the supermarket the other day, Lewis had run away...no surprise, so I went to where I knew he would be... in the Lolly (candy/sweets) aisle...
There he was looking at the chocolates, trying to work out which one he wanted, when a little old lady walked up to him and started talking to him. He looked at her and started "talking" back in his language only he knows...folds his arms, nods his head etc as if having a real in depth conversation.
As I approached, she stood up, she must have been 70 odd, said to me, "I always make a point of talking to "them"... "They" are such wonderful people and should never have been taken away, they deserve the love of a real family" then just walked away...
While I stood there just wondering what just happened...
Now I am wondering if maybe she had a child with DS that had been taken, or if she was close to someone who had...
But was just a really weird experience that has left me feeling quite bewildered...
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Post by Debbie on Aug 24, 2005 19:44:49 GMT -5
Tammy, You know, she may have known someone in her life who had to "give up" their child. It has happened before. I read this book about this man who was in a wheelchair. He is a journalist, his name is John something. He used to be on NPR as a reporter I think. Anyway, he had an Uncle I think who was a slow learner or had Down syndrome. He lived in some type of housing. He found these pictures and would ask his Mom or whoever,"Who is that?" And that person would say immediately,"No one" and then move on to say something else. After he moved out and was older he found the place where his Uncle lived. He went to visit him. There was one whole chapter on this guy and how he found him. John started to visit him as often as he could. It was a good book but I can't remember the name of the book or his last name. He is a TV reporter though. He is in a wheelchair and wrote how difficult it was for him to live an independent life. I think he may have been on Dateline once or twice. Anyway, you just never know what that woman had seen or been through. Sorry for the rambling!   |
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Post by shellk on Aug 24, 2005 19:58:19 GMT -5
Tammy,
It really does make ya think?? What had she or someone close to her been through ?
Michele
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Post by dannysmom on Aug 24, 2005 21:16:35 GMT -5
I'll bet she was encouraged to give up her Ds baby. My aunts brother is law has Ds. He is about 48 now. His mom has passed, but would be in her 80's now (probaby around the age of this woman). My aunt told me that when he was born, he was put in a seperate nursery away from other children. She didn't even see him for 3 days. They told her she shouldn't take him home, that he should be institutionalized. Thank God she knew better and insisted she see her son immediately..took him home, raised and loved him. He lived with his parents until their passing. Currently he lives in a supervised assisted living home with 2 other men with Ds. He has a girlfriend, enjoys singing and dancing, playing cards, sports and music. He goes to all family functions and has a great time!!! Imagine his life if he was institutionalized. What was society thinking back then?
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Post by CC on Aug 24, 2005 23:38:59 GMT -5
Hmmm TAMMY that would have definitely left me wondering HECK I wonder bout things all the time anyway  BUT that would have left me wondering WHAT the heck she really meant  On the same hand thou I have to say, words I try hard not to let them bother me but when I read your post and saw "them"... it reminded me of our 2nd trip to Disney and this Mom walked by winked at me and said Ohhhh I have one of "them" at home too, Hmmmmm "them" is NOT what my son is, KWIM?? K, just had to get that out CC ~ |
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Post by Tammy on Aug 24, 2005 23:45:11 GMT -5
CC... yes I do KWYM... that is one of the things that left me bewildered... Like "Them" as in a totally different maybe even "alien" type reference...
But with all the talk about the "M" word etc here at present, I am thinking maybe she just did'nt really know the "right" way to say what she meant... who knows...
Just one of lifes little mysteries I guess that will remain forever unanswered...
But I kinda wish she had stuck around and chatted... I feel sure she had a story to tell...but the way she left as quick as she appeared, I guess it is a story she would rather not tell...
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Post by Emilysmom on Aug 25, 2005 6:27:51 GMT -5
Tammy, It sure does sound like this woman has a sad experience.........like either she or someone she is close to was strongly encouraged to put their baby with Ds into an institution. I'll bet she has never let a day go by without thinking about it and grieving for that lost child. Definitely mysterious!
Considering her age, I wonder if she used the term "them" as a nicer way of acknowledging that Lewis had Down syndrome......... while knowing enough to not use the "M" word?
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Post by Jackie on Aug 25, 2005 7:52:41 GMT -5
DEBBIE....the man you are referring to I bet is John Hockenberry. I hope this link takes you to some info about him. www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3949059He was here in Amarillo a number of years ago.....he was the featured speaker at the banquet honoring people with disabilities in the community. I too was very impressed with him. Jackie |
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Post by alisonzmom on Aug 26, 2005 14:01:02 GMT -5
Tammy,
I too would bet that this woman had someone close to her with DS who was institutionalized. I gotta tell ya about something that happened to me when Alison was just a tiny little baby - maybe 3 months old.
We had gone to church and were waiting for Caitlin since she had been an altarserver during Mass. Alison, Sarah, and I were just kind of hanging out at the front of church. This VERY elderly lady ( I would guess that she was in her late 80's or more! ) comes up to us and says What a beautiful baby Alison is. She then tells me that she had a baby with DS years ago and was coerced by doctors and family to put her baby into a "home". By now this lady is in tears!!! As am I!!! She says she prays every day of her life that when she dies and meets this child in Heaven that she will forgive her for "abandoning" her. She then told me to enjoy every second of every day I have with Alison and gave me the biggest hug. I see her every so often at church and she has yet to say anything else to me but give us the biggest, cutest grin each time.
Hope all is well down-under!
Barb
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Post by momofrussell on Aug 26, 2005 14:13:48 GMT -5
hmmmmm I guess you will never know.. that is a bizarre encounter!
Was Rod Serling close by? LMAO
A.
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Post by Valerie on Aug 26, 2005 14:37:03 GMT -5
I work as an RN at a nursing home, and one of the ladies that live there has a son with DS (Probably in his 50's, now).
Anyway, even before I had Nicholas, she has talked to me about her son, and told me that he went to a "home" to live when he was 5 yrs old. I commented on how hard that must have been, and she said yes, terribly hard, but that's just what you were to do back then. Very sad.
I am SOOOOOOOOO glad times have changed!
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Post by liasmom on Aug 28, 2005 7:05:33 GMT -5
I was in the local donut shop the other day, as were my neighbors. As my neighbors and their 4 children were leaving an Older man at a table said to another older man, " Look, they've got two of Them." -while staring at the group leaving. Them, I assume in this case, meant children with really beautiful dark skin. My neighbors have adopted 4 children, the last two happen to have really beautiful ebony skin. Them must be their way of labeling someone different. As opposed to a bad word.  ?? Us vs Them. I was truly offended as I could see "THEM" pointing at my daugher and I next- "Look Elmer, she's got one of THEM!" -but you have to remember that old men are more set in their ways and hard to change than most people- except for maybe some of our kids with ds. |
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BUT that would have left me wondering WHAT the heck she really meant 
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