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Post by ALLISA on Sept 21, 2005 6:16:39 GMT -5
I sholdn't speak for Kristi....but I don't think she was "blamed" for waht happened at school....rather I think she felt hurt that HER paretning skills were being questioned and the recomendation was to get advice from school on how to discipline Cody and THEY were the ones who left a bruise on her child. Why does she need their advice ? Maybe they need HER advice ?
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Post by Ericsmomma on Sept 21, 2005 6:53:56 GMT -5
Sorry, I agree with MB's approach...those neighbors crossed the line when they called DCFS. They should have spoke to Kristi first...I'm sure it would have been resolved easily. And I would definetly get me some legal counsel before things get out of hand. Dolly
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Post by Jessie on Sept 21, 2005 8:09:16 GMT -5
You are correct, Allisa, I may have mis-interpreted the original post.
By the way, Kristi, I neglected to say that I am very sorry you are having to go through this and I hope this all gets resolved very soon!
Jessie
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Post by Kristi on Sept 21, 2005 8:16:17 GMT -5
Thanks guys! Your right, I am disappointed that the school is suppose to talk to me. No they won't let Cody out with his sisters, not even his 13 year old sister. I usually let them play in the yard and they know to run in and get me if Cody does leave the yard, but that can't happen anymore. My only problem is, that Cody is a wanderer and I have 5 years of hoping he doesn't get out before me, plus he is alot faster than me. You guys with wanderers know how difficult it is for them not to get away sometime. You have to remember I have 3 other kids that might take my attention away from him for a bit. I don't have time to reply to all but thanks again, will try to get back. Oh, the investigation is already over, they don't care if I was right behind him, he has Down syndrome. Thanks, Kristi
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Post by TriciaF on Sept 21, 2005 11:14:42 GMT -5
Well...... This is just my 2 cents, but, I intend for Patrick to have as much freedom as he can handle. The same goes for my older son, age 11. Now, I know that this may open me up for problems I might not have if I erred on the side of protection...but.....I am raising them to be independent and thats what I want them to learn. Things are much, much different with all children today than when I was 11 (33 years ago) and I'll tell you the amount of freedom I had was absolutely wonderful. I treasure those childhood adventures and memories and mourn the fact that things are so different for my boys. Along with freedom also comes a sense of resourcefulness and responsibility. When you have confidence in your abilities, that has a bearing on all parts of your life. I know its a different world today just like I know that Ds will make it a different world for Patrick versus his older brother. But, I fully intend for him to be as resourceful as possible. And........ I think the neighbors took everything to a whole new level when THEY involved the protective agency. The legal side of it is no small matter and nothing to screw around with. They could and imho should have tried another approach first...there was nothing to lose as they were already going to strain the relationship when they made the call. I have little patience for people who won't even attempt to communicate to settle differences. Life is chock full of differences of opinion and we might as well learn to deal with them. I agree that they will need grace with their children and parenting skills before their children leave the nest and if they don't understand this....they are naive and not just a bit arrogant. One thing this post has done is made me think that I need to bone up on the law.....I do not want an education after the fact should I find myself in a similar circumstance. By the way, did I mention I just bought Patick a new bike? LOL Oh my.......
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Post by rickismom on Sept 21, 2005 16:24:26 GMT -5
This is a VERY trickey question. Because there really is no clear line between "safe" and "letting them have a bit of independence". I let Ricki out - ONLY -on Friday afternoon (no cars in our town then), and she always goes one short block away to a bunch of girls. And yet--- I do it with fear that if someone REALLY wanted to take her aside, she might follow, despite my teaching. There is a mom that sits with the girls, and she says she keeps an eye on Ricki. Also, it is basically a very safe town (crime almost zero). But even if it is basically safe, there are NO quarantees.But to keep her locked up at home is no solution either.
Kriste- sorry to hear your problem. I would not hunt down the other family--- war zones bring casualties. But I would get a lawyer!
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Post by MB on Sept 22, 2005 20:45:21 GMT -5
Allisa and everyone,
No offense taken. Actually, I think you all have expressed your opinions in a very nice way. I really mean it!
I was going for the "throw the whole legal pot of spaghetti at them and see if something sticks" theory. Because, once the attorneys get involved, it is war!
MB
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Post by CC on Sept 22, 2005 23:16:43 GMT -5
ALLISA, you said, "At what age did you all start to leave your kids outside alone" I will be TOTALLY HONEST with your girl, for us, NOPE, Can't do Even thou CHRIS is 12 and I don't always want to stop my work and go out and shoot hoops, although I will cause I HAVE to, CHRIS is still a wanderer and would think nothing of taking off to God knows where I really hoped by now he would have out grown this BUT he just doesn't seem to get that you CAN'T just take off cause you decide to go somewhere Although I will say he is getting some what better and I can actually run in the house say for 2 to 3 min. thats bout the longest thou with him You know I sit her and wonder, LOLOL Hmmm bet you didn't know I wonder, BUT honestly I do wonder what is it bout Chris that makes him do this even at this age We have a man on our street that also has Alshymer (sp?) Man I honestly have no idea how to spell that BUT you KWIM, right?? Anywho he also takes off His caregiver and I LOL sometimes just cause it makes it easier to LOL, KWIM but honestly we both have our houses locked up as if they were Fort Knox and the locks are not to keep people from getting in, its to keep certain "characters" from getting out You guys that have ones that don't take off, Let me say, YOU are d**n LUCKY CC ~
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Post by janis on Sept 23, 2005 1:25:38 GMT -5
Hugs and hugs and hugs and hugs. Can I throw my hat into the ring on this one? I am also single mom with Marc 13 (DS) and Amy 18. In my view, Social Workers don't know squat when it comes to DS. In my experience, they don't want to learn, either. After a 3 1/2 year battle with Social Services (the SS!!!!) I am now going through a formal complaint with them. PLEASE nip things in the bud. Find a lawyer who really knows their stuff. Maybe the local DS society could recommend one? I am in the UK, so things are a bit different over here. Straighten life out with the school before it gets out of hand and ANY little thing gets put down to bad parenting or not understanding DS. Change school if need be. Even go to the local papers. In my experience, people like to be seen as all round good eggs when it comes to disability. OK, they will give to charity and feel good about it. Schools like to be seen as "disability friendly". It makes them feel good. Neighbours like it when their children play with disabled kids outside, cos it makes them look good. BUT BUT BUT when push comes to shove, and they have to do a bit more work, like understand, empathise or adjust, then, usually, forget it. I get around in a wheelchair, so I get a little taste of it, but nothing like the reactions about DS. Being a single mom, I also know just what that is like. See if you can enlist someone with a bit of clout who people will have to take notice of, preferably a person with a DS kid who is also a teacher, doctor, priest or something. Don't approach school, neighbours etc on your own...it will become David and Goliath over again. (But David did win in the end!!!!) If you are not careful, before you know where you are, this will take over your life. Must go...kids getting up. LOts of love and hugs.Janis
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