Coincidence....or not????

[andrewsmom]

Hi all!!! I hope everyone is well.
Ok, I have a "behavioral" question for you. I met a woman a few months back at a store a few towns over from me. Her daughter is 8(DS). We only talked a few minutes or so and the whole time her husband had to chase this girl all around the store. She would sit for a minute and then just take off like a shot across the store again.
Well.... I visited my Mom this weekend and met another couple with a little boy who had DS (I think he was around 10 or so). Same situation. In a store, parents had to chase him all over the place. I actually couldn't contain myself from chuckling because he was a true firecracker. His parents would sit him down and tell him to "stay put" and he would say (in a very sweet voice) "ok, I will stay still and not move." And less than 2 seconds later, there he was off and running again! And ofcourse he was smiling the whole time!LOL! ;D

So here I am.... smiling at this little boy, thinking how cute and adorable this little coy boy is, and then it hits me.......I have only met 2 children this age with DS. Both have been in public places and both have been all over the place. Suddenly it's not so funny anymore. kwim?

Now I'm getting a bit nervous. Andrew is only 19 months old and does not walk yet. He has been cruising furniture for some time now and will stand alone for a few moments at a time,so walking is coming. I have been pushing the whole walking thing because he is soo heavy. Now I'm thinking, maybe I don't want him to walk.
I still have so much to learn about DS but I'm wondering if most children with DS tend to take off this way? And if they do.....what do you do to try to stop it?I'm looking at it from a safety standpoint, they could really get hurt, or lost. I remember reading a post not to long ago about having a plan with neighbors incase something was to happen and your child wandered off. I don't think it sunk in to me that maybe our kids tend to do this more often then not?? And how do you handle it? I take my kids EVERYWHERE with me and this makes me very nervous.
Any wise solutions or "tricks of the trade" or is it just coincidence that both these children are a little over active?

Hmmmm.... I'm thinking .... keep Andrew locked at home until he is 30? I'd like to do that with all my kids actually!! LOL!!! ;D
Any response would be greatly appeciated! Thanks!
-Trisha

[carolyn]

Trisha-

I think the answer is "it depends".
For us, John has never been an impulsive child. He is not friendly, in fact he is very shy, so he tends to stay very close. Now that is not to say he has never run amok in a department store, but really it is only when his patience is up and it is way past time to go. He is not a runner here at home- He is excellent about staying within the limits of our yard ( we have a large yard, over an acre so he does have lots of room to roam) but the few times he has left the yard the punishment has been swift and severe. ( time out in his room, bike taken away- things that he really hates)Anyhow, my point is that I never ever trust him, but I can keep an eye on him when he is out and not have to constantly keep my hands on him. He will follow along and keep up. So I guess you will have to see what kind of little guy you have and work from there. Our life with John has been a wild and fun ride.

[Chris]

My daughter is just four but she is very motor driven. It is difficult to take her anywhere without containing her. I always keep her in a shopping cart or stroller when we are in public. I know that she will take off if we don't restrain her in some way. Impulsive and motor driven is not a good combination.

Chris

[ValerieC]

Let me say, Alethea is 24 months and can crawl like no one else I know. When at soccer games if left to her own device, she will crawl away and not look back. I have a feeling if we don't train her not to we could have this kind of child on our hands as well. I guess I am naiive, but isn't there some kind of training we can do to prevent some of this behavior?

Valerie C

[Emilysmom]

First of all, despite what you have recently seen, please know that all kids with Ds do NOT run off!!! I can understand how you'd be worried! I know each child is different........but I know that some of the older kids I know who have Down syndrome and who are "runners" have a dual diagnosis of Ds and ADHD. Without treatment, the ADHD can be more disturbing than Ds!! I am not one to "diagnose" kids as having ADHD simply based on hyperactivity or impulsivity. But it is a very REAL problem, and medications are very effective for some kids! The kids I know who have Ds and ADHD and who constantly run off, have been hyperactive since they were very young. (I'm saying you would most likely already know if Andrew tended to be a "runner").

As the parent of a 14 year old girl with Ds who has never ever been one to run around aimlessly, I also am familiar with many other kids her age who have Ds. Actually, very FEW of them are runners!! MOST of the kids I know with Ds and NO other diagnosis, are no more apt to run off than any "typical" child.

Susan

[CC]

Well our guy has always been quite the social, active little guy. Yup he was a runner and still today has no fears of doing or going anywhere, except maybe the dentist, LOL He has always been quite the little investigator, one with no fear. Although yes there can be problems with this type of personality it really does have its plus side too, KWIM. One thing Christopher's therapist always said from when he was little is there will be no holding this boy back and they were actually very happy he was more into investigating, if you will, then just passively sitting there. Hmmm easy for them to say as they didn't have to watch him all day, LOLOL But all kidding aside Chris has only the DX of DS as with anything else I guess it just comes down to the individual. I truly think if Chris was Chris without DS he would still be a man on the move, much more of a physical kid, into skiing, baskeball, roller skatting and all the other physical stuff he does, as my daughter is much more of the academic theater arts type kid, KWIM. Kodi is sooo not physical she would rather read a book, go see a play or concernt or whatever, you get the picture, LOL Just a guess here but I bet if she had DS she would still be not physical kid or one to just run off.

I will say I have oftened wonder bout this too over the years as it does seem to be pretty common that our kids with DS do tend to be runners when you least expect it YES not all do but I have heard enough stories over the years to make me wonder too

CC

[ValerieC]

After reading CC's comment, for whatever reason, maybe it's the wondering mode CC puts us all in...do think our Ds kids "run" more than say "typical" kids because they have the tendancy not to think abstractly, therefore they aren't thinking about the consequences of getting lost, being taken by a stranger, getting hit by a car, or whatever?

Just thinking...

Valerie C

[hannahph]

My daughter is what you call a runner. I refer to it as a wanderer.She is usually not running but will wander away with no thought to her safety. We have dealt with this in several ways.She has a stroller/wheelchair, to help when she gets tired from walking but also to contain her in large groups of people.We have a fenced back yard and the gates are locked.We also have door alarms in our house,She has a ID braclet with contact info on it. The one thing I would say is it has gotten easier as she has matured.She is able to follow direction more and is getting a tiny bit more trust worthy. I have some friends who have wanderers also and it has gotten better as they grow up. She does not have a dual diagnosis although the DR was wanting to throw meds at her for ADHD because she was impulsive.He sees now it was more of a maturity issue.

[Jessie]

Jason is very similar to how CC describes Chris. He's not necessarily hyper either, but he has his own idea about where he wants to go. Yes, ValerieC, I think some of it does have to do with the "no fear" mentality that Jason has. He literally is not afraid of anything . . . at least nothing I can think of at the moment. And, I think that comes from not understanding what the consequences of his actions are.

Combine no fear with a healthy dose of stubborness and a dash of curiosity . . . well, let's just say that Mr. Jason's only "alone" time without eyes on him is when we know he is safely playing in his room. Otherwise, his decision-making skills are not anything that we can trust at this point.

It's one of those things that people will try to generalize that all kids with Ds do, but again all of our kids are different and even if there is more of a tendancy with our kids, not ALL of them do it, but it's something to be very aware of.

Jessie

[DevensMom]

Deven is not allowed to be free in any store either he is in a stroller or the cart buckled very tight since he before was able to slide right out and jump in my arms which was a good thing I was near by ( those darn double jointed, flexible muscle , you name it lol)
The only time I have some rest is either when he is sleeping or watching Barney or the Wiggles and even so he still manage to cause a tornado in the house and empty his siss drawer of all clothing ( they are now tape shut), climb on the kitchen table and stand on the lasy suzan trying to reach the fan.
if he steps outside I have to be right behind him since he will do a b line across the street of course without looking for cars ( we live in a cul de sac ) and if i tell him to wait he will put his arms out like he is going to take flight and goes even faster like it is a game even after the many times I scolded him.
he has no fear nor is aware of any danger and is very, very active.
I hope he will slow down but it does not seem likely in any future.
I do not think it is the DS but indeeded a boy beeing a boy except for the age mentally of a younger one.

[Debbie]

I don't ever remember if I had the impulsive/motor problem. I do know that I was like any other toddler and could be real stubborn at times. I suppose almost every child goes through this stage. I remember being a quiet, shy, girl when I was school age. I became like Kodi actually, I perfered reading and later writing as my favorite past times. I could sit forever in front of the TV if something interesting was on or simply just sit and listen to David Cassidy or the Carpenters all afternoon.
I'm sure I had my moments though when I was much younger. ;D

[andrewsmom]

Hmmmm.... you guys bring up some very interesting points. I guess I'll just wait and see what type of child Andrew becomes. Maybe it is more common to have a "runner" with DS because of their thinking, as Valerie mentioned. Who knows??? At least it is not as common as I was thinking. Thanks guys!!!
-Trisha