Post by Radonna on Nov 14, 2005 20:45:05 GMT -5
I tried to find where I posted before to read what anyone might have written back to me and I never found it.
So I just thought I'd start a new topic to let everyone know just how well my little Mr Kaden is doing.
It was very hard for me to stop looking for the thing that would make everything fall into place for Kaden. In my mind it was this key that I couldn't find. I knew he needed Assistive technology but I didn't know what kind I could take him here and they'd tell me one thing and there would tell me another. I ran in circles for years trying to do my best to meet Kaden's needs but missed the big picture. There are a thousand little things that may not seem like much that really matter until you could solve the BIG problem. With communication i thought until I seen some type of effort on his part we were stalled until he made one.
Kaden being Kaden had nothing whatsoever to say about that.
It really doesn't matter how much money you can force out to the school system's tight little fist if your child can't benefit for what is purchased for them. So many things sound so good on paper and with my new found "WATCH OUT FOR THAT MOM" status here in Wayne county I could have about anything I ask for whether he actually could use it or not. It was after one IEP when I got home that I lost it.
It really didn't matter what was said in there how much I thought I'd "WON" Kaden was not progressing. He was dragged to Spanish and art and science and was included in just about everything. He had and aid he had speech. I had my little blue law book and I was making it happen for him, but I couldn't understand why I felt so bad.
Then it hit me. I am just as bad as the school. I have my OWN agenda being big tough Mom and making these people do what I think they should. I really never thought that I would get caught up in that but I did. Power is dangerous if you don't know how to use it.
I got out my little blue law book and the purple book that interprets it for regular folks with out a law degree and I read it again and again and again and finally it hit me.
I was taking the individualized out of Kaden's IEP.
It's hard to write about this because I am 100 percent inclusion all the way. I think kids do better when they around typical developing peers. I think the other kids are better for knowing and befriending kids with learning differences. Inclusion can work for almost anyone with the right support in place.
ALMOST anyone.
Most of you that know Kaden know that he is significantly delayed he has Autism and is deaf/blind. He is an amazing unique little man that I wouldn't change if I could. Kaden is 11 years old and he has skills as low as 12 months in certain area's.
I had painted myself into a corner with the school. I went in thinking that inclusion really would help Kaden I didn't have to push hard to get him almost fully included. Kaden was sooooooooooooooo miserable. In spanish he would cry and try to leave and pull his aid to the door and would do the same in everything but PE and Music.
Kaden was telling me he really couldn't handle it. But I wasn't ready to listen because Kaden's IEP sure looked really really good on paper. WHY would anyone give up rights that their child had. You give up one and they will take em all!! RIGHT?
Finally I ate a BUNCH of crow and made a BUNCH of enemies with a few advocates but I got Kaden pulled out and in the SCC with a wonderful teacher and an aid that doesn't baby him to death. and Kaden begin to change.
I'd ask him. "How was your day Kaden" he'd growl at me and give me a hand up sign which in Kaden means GOOD. and there was weeks without any of the slap the cheek duck the head mean growls that meant NOOOOOO. When he did tell me in his Kaden way NO I'd usually find out later that he had a new therapist come to evaluate him or something threw his day off. But I was COMMUNICATING with my son. I ask him stuff all the time now and sometimes he won't answer but most of the time he does and he is so laid back and calm he really trusts that what comes next wont be so bad because we have managed to create a Perfect Day for Kaden and that really is the point of an IEP.
Take your child and find what works for that ONE child. Not just what works for 99 percent of other children.
It gets very lonely for me sometimes because Kaden and I really don't fit in to a category. I am afraid to really say things because I know that there are people that will read them and picture something similar for their child. I just hope that no one takes what I say out of context. Never stop hoping believing searching and dreaming for your child but realize the Individualized is there for a really good reason. It's there for the Kaden's of the world that are Unique
Radonna
So I just thought I'd start a new topic to let everyone know just how well my little Mr Kaden is doing.
It was very hard for me to stop looking for the thing that would make everything fall into place for Kaden. In my mind it was this key that I couldn't find. I knew he needed Assistive technology but I didn't know what kind I could take him here and they'd tell me one thing and there would tell me another. I ran in circles for years trying to do my best to meet Kaden's needs but missed the big picture. There are a thousand little things that may not seem like much that really matter until you could solve the BIG problem. With communication i thought until I seen some type of effort on his part we were stalled until he made one.
Kaden being Kaden had nothing whatsoever to say about that.
It really doesn't matter how much money you can force out to the school system's tight little fist if your child can't benefit for what is purchased for them. So many things sound so good on paper and with my new found "WATCH OUT FOR THAT MOM" status here in Wayne county I could have about anything I ask for whether he actually could use it or not. It was after one IEP when I got home that I lost it.
It really didn't matter what was said in there how much I thought I'd "WON" Kaden was not progressing. He was dragged to Spanish and art and science and was included in just about everything. He had and aid he had speech. I had my little blue law book and I was making it happen for him, but I couldn't understand why I felt so bad.
Then it hit me. I am just as bad as the school. I have my OWN agenda being big tough Mom and making these people do what I think they should. I really never thought that I would get caught up in that but I did. Power is dangerous if you don't know how to use it.
I got out my little blue law book and the purple book that interprets it for regular folks with out a law degree and I read it again and again and again and finally it hit me.
I was taking the individualized out of Kaden's IEP.
It's hard to write about this because I am 100 percent inclusion all the way. I think kids do better when they around typical developing peers. I think the other kids are better for knowing and befriending kids with learning differences. Inclusion can work for almost anyone with the right support in place.
ALMOST anyone.
Most of you that know Kaden know that he is significantly delayed he has Autism and is deaf/blind. He is an amazing unique little man that I wouldn't change if I could. Kaden is 11 years old and he has skills as low as 12 months in certain area's.
I had painted myself into a corner with the school. I went in thinking that inclusion really would help Kaden I didn't have to push hard to get him almost fully included. Kaden was sooooooooooooooo miserable. In spanish he would cry and try to leave and pull his aid to the door and would do the same in everything but PE and Music.
Kaden was telling me he really couldn't handle it. But I wasn't ready to listen because Kaden's IEP sure looked really really good on paper. WHY would anyone give up rights that their child had. You give up one and they will take em all!! RIGHT?
Finally I ate a BUNCH of crow and made a BUNCH of enemies with a few advocates but I got Kaden pulled out and in the SCC with a wonderful teacher and an aid that doesn't baby him to death. and Kaden begin to change.
I'd ask him. "How was your day Kaden" he'd growl at me and give me a hand up sign which in Kaden means GOOD. and there was weeks without any of the slap the cheek duck the head mean growls that meant NOOOOOO. When he did tell me in his Kaden way NO I'd usually find out later that he had a new therapist come to evaluate him or something threw his day off. But I was COMMUNICATING with my son. I ask him stuff all the time now and sometimes he won't answer but most of the time he does and he is so laid back and calm he really trusts that what comes next wont be so bad because we have managed to create a Perfect Day for Kaden and that really is the point of an IEP.
Take your child and find what works for that ONE child. Not just what works for 99 percent of other children.
It gets very lonely for me sometimes because Kaden and I really don't fit in to a category. I am afraid to really say things because I know that there are people that will read them and picture something similar for their child. I just hope that no one takes what I say out of context. Never stop hoping believing searching and dreaming for your child but realize the Individualized is there for a really good reason. It's there for the Kaden's of the world that are Unique
Radonna
&
Susan, Proud mom of Michael (32), Justin (25) Emily (22ds), and Jordan (20).
