More Parental Thoughts???

[Jodi]

Okay - Do any of you feel like you try and try and you just can't help your kids get past certain things?

Ryan's behavior is still.... well, not much has changed in the last few years, and I feel like I just can't seem to help him. I wonder what I'm doing wrong, and why I can't figure it out. I feel bad that he is struggling, and I just get so down sometimes. We have a great team, and a good situation at school - but nothing seems to change consistently for the better.

Do you ever feel like that? Like you are trying any and everything, and nothing is working - and it just goes on and on like this for months

Jodi

[Debi]

Yes Jodi I OFTEN feel that way.. had a philosphical meditation on just this subject this morning with myself!!!
I know Gabe will go through awfully loooooooong phases just as you describe; but I gotta tell you he is still learning . I do think maturity, slow in any kid, is even slower with our kiddos with Down Syndrome but some of that stuff that I have been working on forever and I do mean since he's been tiny will kick in. So I guess the best we can do is just keep on keeping on and be at least somewhat secure in the knowledge that we are preparing our kids for the day when they can get it.
Gabe wlll be a FRESHMAN in HS next year (gaaaaaaa!!) and still hardly talks and I know that if talking was something he could do easily he would be DOING it ; if that makes sense .Surely all the work and therapy he has received has been important and worth it. But it's just not one of his abilities at this time and maybe never. But he communicates and he tries and lol sometimes when I tell him to use his words he actually does!
Hmmm not sure if this makes sense or it's a ramble lol

[momofrussell]

**sigh**

Well... Jodi... you and I have talked privately about my oldest daughter, Regan... and well, she doesn't have DS but I feel this way about her and our relationship.. TOTALLY to the TEE!!! I try and try and try.. change, ebb, flow, pray, whatever... I just can't seem to help her...

I know this is probably not what you were asking.. if it's soley on our child w/DS.. then I don't think I have had these exact feelings with Russell.. but with Regan I have. With Russell, I think my feelings are more of the resigned kind.. and I try to keep myself in check and NOT focus on those thoughts... that maybe, just maybe, Russell is who he is no matter WHAT I place in front of him.. KWIM? Maybe that is kinda where you are going with this.. but I guess I don't think of it like you are thinking.. I guess.

I am now feeling like Debi.. maybe i am not making sense but I can ramble! LOL

A.

[Jodi]

Ramble girls - it makes sense to me!! LOL!!

Debi - I need to be where you are. Just take things as they come... but I've NEVER been a patient type!!

A - I feel that way with boths kids right now. I feel like a failure! No matter what I try to do, I just... UGH!!!! It's been one of those weeks... reports on both kids from school and GEEZE all reports the same - no changes, no improvements, and NOW what are we gonna try.. what are we going to do about it etc etc.

On a good note (someone told me I need to start thinking more positive because I am focusing on the negative too much - haha then I go and make this thread ), Ryan has gone to sleep 3 nights in a row on his own. YAY!

Jodi

[CC]

ABSOLUTELY OMG I can sooo relate to this. Chris is famous for holding out and just when I think such and such may never be and I am almost ready to give up, BAM he does it ;D ;D

Hang in there, it will be all in good time or should I say all in Ryan's time

CC ~

[momofrussell]

WELL.. I must say YEAH For the 3 nights of wonderul bed time!!!!!! THAT is an accomplishment.

You know what.. I don't focus on the negative on much of anything in my lfe.. I just don't. I do have my moments..I am human.. but I do take things for what they are and deal with them. I am VERY accepting of what is placed in my path on a daily basis. That being said.. I also find it VERY hard to do this with my older daughter It's a constant life lesson for me. I truly struggle with acceptance of what goes on (or doesn't), I try to understand what goes on in her so I can better help and handle.. it still is rough.. it truly is. I think I am more resigned with Russell and I am not with Regan. Now, I don't know if either way is truly a good place to be.. but I this is how I feel

A.

[Jessie]

Ok, throwing in my 2 cents here and maybe I don't know EXACTLY what you are referring to Jodi. But, as I was reading your post I was thinking, I bet there is SOMETHING that has improved, even the tiniest bit. Then you mentioned the bedtime situation - THAT is an improvement! Sure, maybe it's not the one that you are totally focusing on or worrying about, but it was Ryan's time to take that step in that particular area. It's been said so many times here that our kids do things on their own timeline and when THEY are ready to take another step, they will.

I remember someone here telling me that even if Jason is not improving right this minute with speech therapy that we need to continue with it anyway because the time will come when HE is ready and able to benefit from it.

So, keep your chin up, I think you are a GREAT parent! The fact that you care enough to reach out speaks volumes.


Jessie

[laurasnowbird]

Ethan's still pretty little, so I haven't felt that way yet, but I just wanted to post HUGE cyber hugs to you!!!!

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUG ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[jnyhuis]

Do we ever identify with what you are saying!!! Right now we are going thru a very tough time over that issue. Our little guy just couldn't do it in a regular daycare situation so now we are looking for a one on one situation. His behaviors haven't seemed to change in a very long time. I wish there were doctors that specialized in "DS" or behavior manuals to read .......... anything that would help us out. I know the phases last much longer than with other kids but it is so tough on the family. Hang in there.