getting paranoid....not talking yet!

[Ericsmomma]

Morning all,

Lately I have been consumed with the fact that Eric is not talking yet...he will be 5yrs. old in 4 days.(June 27),
and he says about 4 words...Hi-bye-yeah..ball...thats it!
He seems to understand things and will follow directions, but he just isn't verbalizing at ALL.. He tries to form words, but it seems difficult for him. I went on this tangent for awhile about him having apraxia but both his therapists didn't thing so. But now I'm not so sure. We don't receive speech therapy in the summer, and he's been behind on this due to frequent illness.
He'll start back in September, but I'm feeling kinda guilty that I'm not doing enough for him. We were getting private therapy, but the cost was killing us...insurance only will pay a percent and we pick up the rest. We just couldn't do it this summer. I work with him alot, but its very frustrating not to see any change. Sorry about going on and on, but this is a very sensitive issue for me....I guess I'm just feeling a little blue about things, (maybe I need to up my thyroid med, lol), so bear with me. I know all the books say our kids usually talk late, but how late is late? My older kids keep asking me "is Eric EVER going to talk"? and honestly, I don't know what to say. I should be grateful for all he's accomplished, but what I wouldn't give to hear "mama" . or ANY words for that matter.
Another thing I notice is that Eric doesn't initiate any speech...he will only say the few words he if prompted.
But I gotta admit, I don't MAKE him Ask for things...I just anticipate, and GIVE him what he needs. I know this is wrong, and I gotta work on that. We "old" moms
are easily manipulated, and give in much too quickly(too tired to fight...path of least resistance is my motto), but I'm not doing Eric any favors. I do "baby" him alot, and do alot FOR him, but now he's five, and he needs to spread his wings...he definitely wants too...getting much more assertive...so i guess I better step back some. Easier said than done!! Lol...thanks for listening.....Dolly

[momofrussell]

Well, first off... how bout a BIG HUG!!!!?

First off.. if he CAN say some words, even if prompted.... that IS a good start! And yes, the old adage.. they will talk sooner or later... or later or sooner LOL... he will Dolly! I think easing up on the "anticipation of needs" is a step in the right direction. My mom said that my sis never talked for a long time because my brother always talked for her. Kids are like that.. why should they do it if we are already doing it for them! So... I would try to have Eric inititate more. Even if it's with pictures, signs, gestures, ect... he needs to tell you what he wants! Russell doesn't say a darn thing at all and doesn't sign or use pecs.. but we are trying to have him tell us some how, what he needs!

I do know your pain about this. I wonder every year if I will ever hear words out of Russell. You are not alone! I could come over and we could have a good cry together!!!!!

Hugs Dolly.. and hang in there!!!!!

A.

[Emilysmom]

Dolly,
Hugs to you!! I have been sitting here trying to remember when Emily really started saying her first words. I understand how much you want to hear Eric say Mama!!! Please do not feel that you are not doing enough. Just keep doing what you are doing and give it time. If you think you've been doing a bit too much for Eric (that has ALWAYS been my downfall!!), just keep that in mind and encourage him to do more....but do not beat yourself up! You are doing a GOOD job!!

Susan

[Monique]

hi dolly,

my son will be 5 in october and he doesnt know how to say even one word:) so there are always those that are doing better and doing less than others.

I was hoping by now he would be saying something but now i am turning my efforts to trying to give him whatever it takes to help him communicate. His receptive skills are excellant and i see him trying so hard to say the words but by the time they get to his mouth they just dont come out the way he wants. It makes me happy to know though that he tries.

i just want him to be able to communicate with others regardless if it is words or something else. We just started using the pecs system (pictures) and a machine we put them in and record the words and he presses the symbol. We are just starting this but it is a step in the right direction if it will help him communicate what he wants.

So dont despair. If your little one seems to know what he wants but cant say it...CELEBRATE cuz where there is a will to communicate you can find the door to help him express himself! and besides my 3 year old daughter more than makes up for the talk factor around here! Maybe my son just isnt able to get a word in edgewise:)

You sound very caring and am sure you are doing all you can for him.

hugs,
monique

[ALLISA]

hi Dolly...hugs to you....that's what this site is for.....

My Erin turned five on Febuary....and her speech is no where close to what I'd like it to be.....but I try to hang in & I KNOW it will be here someday.

The fact that he follows directions is a huge plus....at least you know he does understand things.

You'll get that "mama" and be happier than you even know....I FINALLY got it.....around Mothers DAy of all times..... LOL !! She brought home her present and I said "erin , is this for Mama" and she signed mama and REALLY said it.....now I get it almost once a day.....consistinecy isn't great.....but I'll take what she gives me !

Erin's older siblings also ask me when she'll talk & they get very frustrated that she isn;t....but we just have to hang in and remember that it is okay to be upset about it.....but also know that they'll get their on their own pace !

[Deborah]

Hi Dolly.. Hugs to you!! My daughter Jennifer will be 5 in October and speech is a huge issue with us as well.

[CC]

Awwwww HUGS to you girl from one who has been there

Hang in there and keep believing, Don't give up on speech. Chris did not say MOMMY till 4/5 years old sooo I know what you mean. Speech is the area my boy struggles the hardest BUT I honestly tell you even now at 12 years old he improves ;D Not as much as I would have hoped for BUT he improves and tries sooooooooooo HARD.

I was told when Chris was 3 by a Doc that is supposed to be the ONE to see in our area that sorry Chris will not talk if he is not by now. Well SURPRISE SURPRISE he does and new words come along even now ;D

The thing that gets me with Chris is the words he can say OMG they are clear as heck just like you or I would say but until he gets it right OMG still lots of jargon Hmmm is that a word, LOL

Anyway just wanted to say HUGS and I can soooo relate, you are not alone BUT it will come I do BELIEVE that ;D

CC ~

[justinsmom]

Justin just turned 5 on the 10th and speech is still a HUGE hurdle for us as well. I just wanted to tell you my nephew non DS who is talking now and is almost 6 but didn't start until he was almost 5. With him he was the youngest of 5 and the doc said he didn't see the point in talking cause everyone knew what he wanted or needed. He would just point to everything and someone would get it, it was hard in the beginning to make him say the word instead of point and telling his brothers and sisters to stop babying him and let him ask for it himself instead of running and getting it for him.
As for the insurance company we just found out after 1 1/2 years DH's insurance won't pay for it because the delay isn't due to an injury or illness grrrrrrrr. After talking to anyone and everyone at the company I finally found out it would be covered if the ST changed the DX code but they wouldn't tell me what code to get it covered so I guess we have to get creative again.
Hang in there and there's no reason to feel guilty it's because of your hard work that Eric is able to understand and follow directions. The PECS system is great and has done wonders with Justin. Hugs Dolly and keep doing what you are doing cause something is working somewhere, I would agree though to try and step back I know it's hard cause I do the same thing but it's better to start now than later.

[donnac]

I remember when Tyler was five he signed over 200 words, but the talking wasn't what we would have liked it to be. He did say some words, and of course, one of his first words was NO.

We've gone through times of worry and concern also, but we as parents can only do so much. Tyler has always had one session of group speech therapy in addition to individual therapy at school up until this past year. But his speech has improved more this past year, that it has been amazing. I believe it is because he was in a typical classroom for the entire day and had the other children to model from. But then again, he just may have been ready to do more.

Our kids sometimes tend to work at their own pace no matter how many extra services or therapies they receive. I also found that time off from therapy was good for both of us and gave us a much needed break. Don't worry about the summer therapy, it sound like you are doing a lot at home.

I too did too much for Tyler. I'm still that way sometimes. I know that it is hard not to do too much for our children sometimes, especially our youngest, our babies.

Hang in there, it will get better.

[Kristin]

We started Clarice with signing coupled with speech. She still uses gestures coupled with her speech to be understood. I know that when she can't be understood, she will stop talking. So try teaching your son a few basic signs and have him say the word and sign at the same time. As he succeeds, I think you will see him trying harder. Also, we refuse to acknowledge any request without an attempt to communicate with speech. It sounds harsh, but it really forced her to talk. Clarice is 5 and still speaks mainly in 2-3 word phrases, but most people can understand "water, please" especially when she pantomines drinking water at the same time. Kristin

[Jessie]

Hi Dolly,

Obviously I can sympathize with you on this topic!! While I don't have experience with a child at Eric's age, I do think that Kristen's suggestions make perfect sense. Although we will never know if Jason could have spoken better by now, I do think he was prompted a lot, his needs were kept very basic (chips, soda pop and a movie isn't too tough to accommodate - referencing his old life) and was not forced to communicate. We are both working at NOT prompting him anymore and to force the use of his PECs book. It is a VERY tough habit to get out of - the prompting thing is. But, I really do feel like he does better when he is forced to communicate and we don't try and guess what he wants. I wish there were something magic here for the speech thing - we would be using it!

See you next weekend!!!!!

Jessie

[Jodi]

Hi Dolly ~

Just wanted to throw in my two cents...

Ryan is 7 and his verbal communication is delayed too. You mentioned that he understand things... that is very important! We are often asked "when will he start talking" - heck, when he's ready I suppose. Anyhow, Ryan understands TONS and so we keep teaching. The speech will catch up - but I'm with you - it's tough waiting

Jodi

[ValerieC]

Just a short quip from my 7 year old niece...

We were at a family function today. My 7 year old niece came up to me and said, "Don't worry Aunt Val, Alethea will learn to talk like the rest of us." Mind you I've never voiced a concern about Alethea learning to talk (she already has begun to say some words). Anyway, I further enticed my niece into this conversation. I asked her, "How do you know that Katie?" She proceeded to tell me about a girl with Down syndrome in her class at church who talks just like us. She didn't know how old the girl was, maybe her age...that could be 7-10 years old.

Don' know if it's an encouragement or not, but Katie has faith...

[Ericsmomma]

Thanks for all the encouraging words....thats what I LOVE about this site, compassion and understanding flows freely. And with no support group near me, this has been a God-send.

Thanks again, from Dolly, Roy, and Eric


ps. See some of your guys in Chicago next week....can't wait!!!

[rickismom]

First of all, don't feel bad about the break in speech therapy. None of us can afford ALL that we would like to give our kids, and if you do similar work at home, thats a good temporarysolution. I know that twice Ricki jumped forward in speech during the 3 month break our therapist impossed: I came back after 3 months saying "I am bringing you a different girl..." I am sure that you will have progress if you can stop anticipating his needs and force him to use pics or words to ask for stuff. Just act DUMB like you really just on't understand what he wants...... .....
Also, make sure he is around kids who speek WELL as big a part of the day as possible. Ricki picked up more speech from friends than anywhere else.. ;D