the exact opposite at school

[Chester]

Okay now that I wrote that I felt like everything was basically a.o.k. with our little guy.....I've got a worry.

We moved almost 2 months ago. He is 4. In Wisconsin he was in a special ed. public school preschool setting. Now here in Kentucky he is "included" into a public school preschool program.

Of course....SIGH.....his KY teacher went on maternity leave a couple of weeks ago, and we had spring break, so things have been kind of sparadic.

I pick JT up, and drop him off. Next year I'll let him take the bus....maybe....anywho~

The classroom aide and teacher have been remarking how much he talks to me when I pick him up and he doesn't talk at all in class and that he must be playing 'possum with them. So after a couple more days of hearing the same thing, I ask if he is signing much. No....

So I don't catch on the quickest, but it finally hit me. Something isn't right. He babbles "talks" non-stop at home and his old school. So I wrote a note this morning asking if I could observe a class. The special ed. teacher is in his room two days a week and she wrote me back saying they "would love to have any help you can give in assisting us with communicating with JT" for some reason that really rubbed me the wrong way.

Anybody else have experience with a child who does the exact opposite at school than what he does at home? My gut is that there is no need for him to communicate. He is one smart cookie and if he senses a weak spot he takes it and the easiest way around it. My guess is he isn't being challenged enough.

Any thoughts?
Dawn

[Claire]

All I can say is that our Adam 8 has taken a long time to communicate with words. Some children have to be more motivated to use words. EX: Instead of just walking by Adam and telling me "Oh! I love his new glasses" I would turn to them and say "Tell Adam". Once he figured out that that was communicating he did fine and now even though some words don't come out quite right, he manages and so does his EA.
Yes they are smart cookies and know how to get around things. The thing is not to let them get around them, as they do need to communicate. So maybe you may mention to them that they should start the conversation with him instead of waiting for him to do it. When it comes to behavior though, Adam is exactly the same at home as at school. They never need to call me, I call them as I know what he does at home he also does at school. One thing that he wouldn't do at school but was doing at home by himself is pull his pants up after bathroom time. I walked in one day and the EA was pulling his pants up. I told her he could do it himself. Adam looked at me like " You told on me' ;D He was still refusing even though I was there, so I said " Fine be like that, I guess you'll miss recess" Boy let me tell you those pants got pulled up pretty fast. ;D I told the EA never underestimate him, he knows a lot more then he shows.

[meghans_mom]

oh yes - that's my Meghan...she is SHY and gets overwhelmed. they see the same thing...she's loud and gregarious when her dad or i or little brother walk into the classroom to pick her up. she's been in her same classroom for 2 years, and it took a loooong time for her to come out of her shell. My kid who doesnt stop dancing at home doesn't like to dance in class or when theyre performing on stage. Like her mom, she hates when she thinks people are watching :-o
It may also be that JTs needs are being met too quickly and easily as you said so there is no reason for him to talk.
It may just be the new situation. Give it time, have them encourage him...if he wants juice they cant just plop it down in front of him. he wants more whatever...then they make him sign it or say it or get an approximation.
best of luck and let us know how things go.
laurie

[momofrussell]

Well, first it sounds like you need to write another note asking the same question! LOL.. can I observe the class!!!? I think observing would be a good idea... and go from there. See what is exactly going on.

Have they tried pictures with JT? Roll playing? Can he draw pictures of how he feels?

A.

[donnita]

Cassie doesn't talk much at school either, hardly at all when she is suppose to. She talks a little during freeplay, when no one is expecting it of her. She also doesn't sign much at school, unless prompted. One example, her teacher has not seen her sign any colors this whole year. She can, and has been able to for quite awhile, but won't sign them at school.

[Emilysmom]

Oh yes, we've seen that for many years. And sometimes, it is just the opposite...........Emily might do something at school because everyone else does it, and then she comes home and acts like she "can't" do it and we just automatically do it for her! (Only to find out later that she has been doing it alone at school for months!) Other times, I have seen her do things at school that are simply not allowed at home and I have to remind everyone to be FIRM with her. I have learned so much when I have observed her at school. However, she doesn't usually give me a true picture of what she typically does at school if she knows I'm there...........much better if I can observe without her knowing it. I think this will really help you to know what is going on at JT's school.

Susan

[carolyn]

John is very much the same. Very rambunctious and talkative at home, quiet and tenative at school. It has gotten better, now that Kindergarten is almost over, and it will probably take most of next year to start again, but progresss is made.