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Post by mizpah on May 11, 2006 18:46:34 GMT -5
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Post by momofrussell on May 11, 2006 18:52:56 GMT -5
Well, first off WELCOME TO UNOMAS!!! Glad to have a NANA with us!!! ;D
Well.. you said you give her love and are available to her... I think first and formost.. THAT is the MOST important!!! So.. that's good!!! Have you ever asked her if she needed anything? Maybe bought her some books, attended some support groups with her, ect??? I am sorry she struggles at home... you mentioned complications.... may I ask what kind? Maybe some respite would be nice for her? (A break). How old is your grandson?
I think you are doing such a good job being there for her... and if she has a computer... maybe she could come here like you are... and we could be there for her too.. when she is ready of course....
Again... WELCOME and HUGS to you and your daughter!!!
A.
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Post by mizpah on May 11, 2006 19:29:24 GMT -5
my grandson is 2 he has downs syndrome with severe heart and lung complications, which has hindered his development physically.his needs are as a newborn.she has respite already in place which is a real blessing to her. she hasnt attended any support groups, sometimes when I suggest things she thinks I am being critical of her ...which is not true and that the very last thing i want to happen....she has been in this room in the past and found it a great help but at this time she not able to get online often....my cry is see her get the support she needs, example.... I had my grandson at his playgroup last week and mentioned my daughters struggles... and the response was :I think your daughter is doing a great job: Yes she is ......but she is struggling at home when no one else connected to her sees what is happening how can I help  ? |
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Post by ValerieC on May 11, 2006 21:27:51 GMT -5
Good questions...yet so complicated in the same way!
Even the best of moms need some help. Even the best of moms need breaks. Does your daughter have any time that she dedicates to herself? Does she do anything just for her?
We're all so different and ask for and look for and need help is so many different ways. For me, I guess I would want to know that I could leave my son in someone's care that I trusted for an hour or 2 so that I could take a nap, read a book, go to the store, whatever the case may be.
There is so much more I could say, but I'll start there.
Valerie C
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Post by CC on May 11, 2006 22:31:38 GMT -5
You sound like a GREAT Nana  I say continue to love and be there for your daughter as you are and just listen if she wants to share. I love my Mom oh so much, she has passed on and Man do I miss her ever day  She was my biggest support when it came to Chris and for me it was by her being there, listening, offering to babysit so I could get out if needed and for me the BEST was she went with my lead, like when I didn't want to discuss the DS or any of Christopher's medical issues or when I did she just went with my lead and for me it was the BEST. My bet, from the sounds of your post, you are helping her more then you even know  CC from New Jersey ~ |
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Post by brocksmommy on May 11, 2006 22:49:33 GMT -5
i'm gonna have to agree with CC, let her lead. just you being there and supporting her maybe the best thing. i know it's the best thing my mom has done. we are so close because of it. this all take time. and congrates on your grandson he sounds precious. would love to hear more about him
{{{hugs}}} from shreveport
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Post by mizpah on May 11, 2006 22:53:09 GMT -5
thank you so much cc from new jersey I hear what you are saying about letting her lead the conversations........sometimes in my eagerness to help I lead ...opps .....I do offer to babysit and an on call 24/7 ... any other suggestions? ?? |
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Post by mizpah on May 11, 2006 22:55:24 GMT -5
maybe that takes away from her choices? ? my leading any thoughts??? |
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Post by mizpah on May 11, 2006 23:06:53 GMT -5
He is so adorable..2 years old..loves kisses and Nana cuddles. he can just hold his head up now, is feed by n/g tube ,he is deaf ,so we are all learning to sign, and he gets excited when we do it to him. he has given so many things to our family despite his disabilities he has heart/lung problems is on oxegen 24/7 as well as ds.. I believe with all my heart he is a gift to us . He teaches me to trust more fully and to love so unconditionally until he came into our lives we never knew the pain/joy of ds so my heart is for him to be all he is created to be and my daughter to find strength each day to live with her other 2 young children I love them more than words can say |
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Post by ambersgrandma11 on May 12, 2006 0:15:15 GMT -5
Yes I know what you mean about the love we feel for our special grandchildren, Iam grandma to Amber, 7 years old ds and also hearing impaired, we started sighning to her when she was little also, now she corrects me when I sighn wrong, you keep on sighning to him and he will learn and sighn back, our kids are amazing !!! Amber got a choclear implant 2 years ago April and she loves it. I know how you feel about your daughters feelings, I know my daughter has bad days still . She does have freinds that have ds kids also, she is real close to her 1 freind who has a daughter Ambers age,and ds Iam thankfull for that, they sighn the girls up for gymnastics, special Tball , and take them to shows together, Amber and Indy love each other. It would be good for your daughter to get into a support group, to meet other families that can talk to her, so she does not feel alone. I help with Amber , she loves us and wants to be with us, she is our Special Angel, All you can really do is just be there for her.
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Post by mommygwen on May 12, 2006 21:35:55 GMT -5
Advice to Nana:
Pat yourself on the back for having raised such a fine woman who can take such good care of this lovely and needy child.
Tell your daughter that you are proud of her and yourself for being really great Mothers.
Kiss the baby.
It seems to me that the ones who are already doing so much are the ones who wonder what more can be done.
Since the baby can't tell his Mommy thank you, you may say it for him.
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Post by paulinemjc48 on May 14, 2006 11:01:29 GMT -5
Hello.
I am Mum to a young man with DS and very complex medical problems including a severe heart/lung condition so I know just how difficult and draining looking after an ill child can be. Your daughter is very lucky to have you being so supportive.
Where do you live, we are in England?
Pauline UK
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???my question is as a Nana to my grandson who has downs syndrome with several complications how do i best support my daughter...... apart from loving her and being available to her... I see her struggles and at times she puts a strong smile to those who are helping and they think she is OK her but at home she struggles what can I do... I know she is a very capable young Mum who has other children to care for. can you help me help her 
I say continue to love and be there for your daughter as you are and just listen if she wants to share. I love my Mom oh so much, she has passed on and Man do I miss her ever day 
She was my biggest support when it came to Chris and for me it was by her being there, listening, offering to babysit so I could get out if needed and for me the BEST was she went with my lead, like when I didn't want to discuss the DS or any of Christopher's medical issues or when I did she just went with my lead and for me it was the BEST. 
