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Post by Chester on May 16, 2006 9:50:08 GMT -5
Whenever we head out of the house I always make sure we have a stroller for JT. He is a big boy, he weighs 43 lbs now. We can take three steps away from the car and he throws up his arms and says "up".
I can't carry him anymore. He's just too big. He is growing out of his stroller. I searched here on Uno about the bigger strollers, WOW are they spendy!!!
I'm looking for advice. I try to get him to walk as much as possible, but it we always get to the point where I pick him up or put him back in the stroller. The more I make him walk, I'm guessing the better his stamina will get......I honestly think I'm dealing with a mix of low stamina and lazy bones. He knows darn well that he'll get picked up or a ride if he holds on to my legs saying "up" long enough.
Any advice?
Dawn
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Post by MB on May 16, 2006 10:03:37 GMT -5
Does JT see a physical therapist or an Occupational Therapist? Does he ride a tricycle or big wheel? I am wondering if the muscle tone in his legs is really low and he needs therapy to build strength.
On the other hand, does he run towards things that he wants? Does he escape the house and go exploring? If that's the case then maybe he is using the carrying as a way to have more control over you and his life.
mb
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Post by Chester on May 16, 2006 10:10:08 GMT -5
We just recently moved. He does have PT and OT at school and we go for his eval for private PT, OT and ST for the summer. He does ride a tricycle, without any adaptations. It's usually pretty short lived.
He does run for things he wants. We have put alarms and extra locks on our doors to keep him from leaving the house on his own. hmmm good point, he can run like mad when he wants.
Does that mean we've created the lazy bone?! How do we make it go away?!
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Post by MB on May 16, 2006 10:52:37 GMT -5
When my son was younger, he always took the easiest route to the things he wanted. If it was easier to run off than ask permission, he did it. If it was easier to use a diaper than a toilet, he did it. If it was easier to be carried, he asked for it.
He did have a stamina problem. There was no way he could, at the age of four, make it through the zoo or Disneyworld. Even at the age of eight, we rented a large stroller for him in Orlando.
But, he certainly could walk from the entrace of Walmart to the car. That is when I put my foot down. When he stopped taking naps, I started telling him that he must be sitting down because he is too tired to walk. I would then go on to tell him that if I was going to pick up a four-year-old boy it was because he was either too sick or too tired to walk and he belonged in bed resting. I would then wait for the message to process (about 20 seconds - count it out, it is a looooong time) and then pick him up and take him home to bed.
I did not care how inconvenient it was to do this. I was investing in good behavior. I only had to do it once. He would continue to flop and drop, but would get up when I started in with the must be either sick or tired talk. Show no emotion.
Good luck!
mb
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Post by meghans_mom on May 16, 2006 11:07:48 GMT -5
I'm smiling because that's meghan...especially if daddy is around. she wants to be carried to bed, to the car, but it's just a 'babying' thing with her...she wants to be cuddled/comforted. sometimes when we are doing long jaunts she'll ask to come up - but only because she sees matthew being carried.we do the same as MB - she still does it because she knows she can get away with it once in awhile :-) i agree work on stamina - build it up slowly. our kids DO get more tired more quickly than the typical 4 & 5 year old - but it can be built up. good luck! laurie
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Post by mommygwen on May 16, 2006 11:51:39 GMT -5
It is both. And you can push to get an improvement with both. I accomodated my son sometimes and sometimes I did the same an MB. Being threatened with a nap seemed to perk him up somehow. I have, however, met some kids who really just can't managed with out a stoller. One 17 year old I kow uses the baby jogger for special needs. Gwen
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Post by wrblack on May 16, 2006 13:41:13 GMT -5
Yep, I agree that it's often a combination of laziness and lack of stamina. And, in many cases, hard to tell where one leaves off and the other begins. Guess we're lucky, somewhat, again. We don't really have the problem of sorting that out yet. Charlie's really not capable of walking independently yet, though he is making progress now. Anywho, we've had a special needs stroller in the works for some time now. Got order written up at visit to seating clinic at CHOP, then one of their vendors went belly up and bought up by another vendor, paperwork lost in the shuffle, delay after delay. Anyway, believe new stroller really is on order now. Maybe it'll acutally show up at our doorstep someday soon. Yes, they are pricey. I'm hoping health insurance covers most, if not all, of this one. Expect this to be a Maclaren Major Special Needs or Major Elite or something along those lines. And hope it will be much more compact and much, much lighter than the Kimba stroller that Charlie uses for the school bus ride. Just thought I would mention this. Might be worth investigating if you could get your health insurance to spring for a special needs stroller for Jake. Maclaren and Convaid seem to be the choices. Vary by model, but can go up to 18 years old and 250 lbs. The Maclarens only go to 140 lbs.;but, since we can't get Charlie to finally hit 40 lbs., that's not a problem. -- Bob
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Post by laurasnowbird on May 16, 2006 21:15:25 GMT -5
That's a good strategy MB, and one I'm going to keep in mind for Ethan if he starts the "flop and drop" routine. We have used something similar with Ethan and my daughter as it relates to listening, though. When Victoria doesn't listen, we say "Hmmm, I think you need a short nap, your ears seem to be tired." Of course she'll protest and say that her ears aren't tired at all, and we'll tell her that her ears MUST be tired, because they can't seem to hear us! She suddenly hears and quickly complies! (By the way, she HATES it when we do that, LOL!)
We haven't experienced the refusal to walk problem with Ethan, so I'm counting my blessings. We HAVE experienced him taking the easy way out of things, primarily with people he thinks he can get one over on, LOL! His grandma is always amazed at what he can do when she's at OUR house, because when he's at her house, she babies him! But you know what? It works for her, and she's happy to do things for him. And he's happy to let her. And I'm happy that they are both happy and have this awesome relationship.
But its like the commercials - "Don't try this at home". Doesn't work for me at all, and he knows it and behaves accordingly. Smart little fart, isn't he?
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Post by CC on May 16, 2006 22:01:01 GMT -5
K, guess I will be the ODD ball here LOLOL BUT hey I am use to being the ODD ball I really can't call Chris lazy at all, but yes for sure the low tone affected his stamina and it took lots of work to build that up. So for me NO I am not convinced its a simple as being lazy, I think the low tones plays a much bigger part, just my thoughts
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Post by Jessie on May 17, 2006 8:11:31 GMT -5
Maybe the term lazy is not really the best way to describe this aspect of their personalities. I don't think Jason is lazy either, but he does exactly what all of the other kids do . . . takes the easiest route, is a master of avoidance, knows who he can play (hmmmm, grandmas seem to be the easiest prey), etc. I think he looks at it as it's just easier, so hey, why not? They ARE smart farts, aka, problem solvers. Jessie
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Post by Chester on May 17, 2006 9:26:35 GMT -5
I was thinking the same thing last night Jessie. Lazy may not be the correct word.....at times it is though.....taking the easiest way out is pretty much being lazy.
There is no doubt about it that I would never characterize JT as overall lazy. Out of our three kids, he tries the hardest. We have the talk with all three of our kids that sometimes they spend more time and energy trying to get out of something than actually doing it. JT is the king of figuring out others weak spot and using it for his benefit....i.e. he doesn't talk or sign at school yet.
He knows that Dad is much easier to convince than me to pick him up when we're out. Dad's a sucker for puppy dog eyes and when JT says "daddeeeee pleeeeezzzzeeeee" and then signs "help". Thats a sure ticket to ride on his Dad's shoulders.
On the other hand I do know that stamina is an issue. His gait isn't very efficient. He does tire very easily.
DH is out of town right now. When he returns, I think we'll have a discussion on being consistent......JT can walk from the car to the entrance of a building....even if he flashes the cutest saddest looking puppy eyes he can walk to the entrance and THEN the cart.
I am also going to start researching the bigger strollers, thanks Bob for your info and hope yours shows up soon!
Dawn p.s. My aching back is only half of what got me to realize that we've got to pay more attention to this. Last Saturday at the mall. There was a late teens brother out shopping with his 7-10 year old brother with DS....I'm guessing for Mothers Day.....the boy with DS was literally crammed into a baby stroller. He looked super uncomfortable and really stood out in the crowd. That got me thinking that we've got to pay attention to making JT walk when it's appropriate, short/small distances and to also figure out some "wheels" that he'll fit into for longer distances.
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Post by Chester on May 17, 2006 9:50:45 GMT -5
ummmmm......confession here. My DH isn't the only one that falls prey to puppy dog eyes. I just told JT it was time to get his shoes on for school. He smiled and put his arms up and said "up". YEP, I picked him up without even thinking about it...................
Dawn
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Post by Jessie on May 17, 2006 11:30:17 GMT -5
Well, you know what they say, the first step to recovery is first admitting there's a problem . . . you are now on the road to recovery!! LOL
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Post by mommygwen on May 17, 2006 12:40:39 GMT -5
Wheelchair / stroller suggestions: We have at our house convaid and baby jogger wheelchairs. They fold nicely. Insurance will pay for a wheelchair but not a stroller.....semantics. In our case the convaid but not the babyjogger were covered by insurance. I really love the baby jogger. It costs less than a "medical" wheelchair and handles bumpy terraine or even the beach. It is easy to fold and wash too. Good parts service thru the company. It is made near us and our pictures are on their website: advancemobilty.org. I let the babyjogger company take some photos of us at the park. They are posted on the babyjogger web site; advancemobility.org. Ashley, the wonderful babysitter was with us. Greg was a bit pouty. He is in the play house in the photo on the lead page. There are more photos on the contact page. The chair for up to 100 lbs is in final design stages and will have a one hand quick fold.
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Post by wrblack on May 17, 2006 13:13:09 GMT -5
Oh, $#!+!! We may have ordered the wrong stroller. Do those Baby Joggers come with Gordon Setters included?!? (Good looking people and nice looking dogs, or, in dog parlance, dogs that are not hard to look at.) -- Bob
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