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Post by Chris on Jul 6, 2006 21:15:19 GMT -5
Does anyone know of a good website or article that explains why the word "retarded" is offensive and suggests better terms to describe mental retardation?
Chris
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Post by momofrussell on Jul 6, 2006 21:58:38 GMT -5
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Post by CC on Jul 6, 2006 23:35:07 GMT -5
No web sites to share BUT in my mind the word "retarded" is not really offensive unless its used in an offensive way, KWIM Hence why I thought the tee shirt link was in bad taste. Weather who it comes from calling one a RETARD is just not nice, least to me. Its a word that has a meaning but when used for the wrong reason then I think its when it becomes offensive. Just my humble opinion as to why it may be offensive to some CC ~
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Post by edugatortracy on Jul 7, 2006 7:15:21 GMT -5
According to definition.com means "to cause to move or proceed slowly; delay or impede". Based on that definition, I, for one, am not bothered by the word. While I agree calling someone a 'retard' is meant to be an insult- in my world there is plenty of other things I find more offensive than that. (For the record, the shirt Bob posted was not offensive to me, but I have a pretty 'bent' sense of humor.)
T
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Post by Jodi on Jul 7, 2006 18:13:50 GMT -5
I think I get what you are saying Jeff. You can DO something stupid, but not BE stupid, right? But with DS - well, the condition is... retarded. So when someone says, "you are retarded" that means they are "acting" like my kid? I've been thinking about the "retarded" word lately. I really think that most people who use the word don't know someone like my son on a personal level. I think if they did, and they still said "retarded," it would be more of a reference to indicate that someone didn't think something through (did something stupid)... acted impulsively, but not necessarily directly referencing my son and his abilities... KWIM? Before Ryan I had said the "R" word about things, but I NEVER recall saying it with a person in mind. Of course it has hurt me to the core when I heard it since Ryan's birth, but lately, I don't know, I just feel a little different about it. Not great, more neutral. I'm soooo rambling right now.... and that concludes my thoughts .
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Post by char on Jul 7, 2006 20:55:36 GMT -5
I work in an office with six other people. They all know that my granddaughter has DS. They listened to me for the entire time she was hospitalized. I missed work one day, and the next I got an e-mail from our supervisor saying the ladies had been afraid something had happened to Abby.......so they know.
However, hardly a day goes by that I don't hear one of them say something like, "that was a retarded thing to do" or "geeze he's such a retard"
In the beginning, I was highly offended and wanted to yank someone aside and tell them just how thoughtless I really thought they were.
Sanity returned, and I remembered the Serenity Prayer. I had to just know the difference between what I could and could not change. I can't change them, so I decided to change my attitude.
Those women have NO idea what they are saying. Why would I choose to give them enough power to upset me? They only have control over how I feel if I allow them to have control, and I flat out refuse to let them upset me.
As seen through my eyes, and that's all I have, Abby is perfect. Nobody can ever convince me that she isn't the most wonderful little girl in the world, and I love her with all I have. That is all that matters to me.
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Post by Emilysmom on Jul 8, 2006 6:34:26 GMT -5
Chris, Did the websites Adrienne posted help? I really couldn't think of any actual websites, so I was glad she found some! The term "mentally retarded" as a label for my daughter to get specialized services in the school system never really bothered me all that much, but I'll never get used to hearing the term "retard" as an insult to anyone.
Jeff's post, however, has made me think...........I do tend to say things like "well, that was stupid" and I do think it's different than a put down like "well YOU are just stupid". And my newest phrase (I have NO idea where it came from) when I hear something I think is totally "wrong" is "That's just INSANE"!! I certainly have never meant it as a slam to anyone with mental illness when I've said that. But, if I said that in front of someone who had a family member with diagnosed "insanity", would it hurt them? Maybe! I'm all for taking a minute to think about how our words can affect others and making changes if needed. So often, we just never think about it.
Susan
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Post by TriciaF on Jul 9, 2006 1:21:22 GMT -5
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