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Post by Jenifer on Jul 9, 2006 22:45:11 GMT -5
My DH Todd took Joy to the grocery store with him today. As they passed a mother and her little boy who was about Joy's age, Joy started to interact with him. They "played" for a minute while Todd chatted with his mom, and as they moved on, Todd heard the little boy ask his mom, "What's wrong with that little girl?" The mom replied, "I don't really know." And on they went. Well, Todd said his heart just sank because this is the first time a child Joy's age has really recognized something different about her. He was sad and tonight when he went to bed, he just laid there and cried. It nearly broke my heart in half. He's not disappointed in Joy or who she is...just sad that she will face a life full of people asking what's wrong with her. "Nothing" would be my answer. Jenifer, mom to Joy Daisy
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Post by Emilysmom on Jul 9, 2006 22:51:01 GMT -5
Oh man Jenifer.......HUGE lump in throat here. I agree with you 100%........NOTHING is wrong with her at all. And, I'm so sorry your DH had that experience.
Susan
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Post by Ericsmomma on Jul 10, 2006 6:15:46 GMT -5
Jenifer, Whew....I feel for your hubby. It can be very gut-wretching sometimes. But fortunetely, its not very often.
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Post by ALLISA on Jul 10, 2006 7:52:39 GMT -5
No one ever forgets that first time this happens ....I remember mine clearly and it was 5 years ago. But it is a sad thing to face. I wish the mom had handled it better....I don't really blame a child for asking questions....they are usually just curious and interested....not usually cruel at a young age. Sorry to had to go through this....we all know how he feels.......
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Post by Chester on Jul 10, 2006 8:50:58 GMT -5
I agree also agree, nothing is wrong with Joy! I hope he is able to hold his head up high and to let some of that go in one ear and out the other.
I also had this happen to me for the first time the other day. Having just moved from a small town where everyone knows everything about you, to a whole new state and bigger town, I'm realizing again how curious people are and how much they do STARE! JT and I were in the return line at Wal-Mart, which is always slower than slower. There were two little girls running "wild" in front of us. The one little girl ran over to her Mom and loudly said "that bad boy is sticking his tongue out at us" and the Mom said "well go over there and stick yours out at him". I just let it all pass, I could tell that JT and I were not even a blip on their screen of troubles in the world...but I sure did have choice phrases in my head for the Mom. If the girls would have stood still for a second I might have given them the child version of what DS is....my heart felt sad more for them than anything.
Dawn
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Post by Chris on Jul 10, 2006 9:09:31 GMT -5
Jenifer,
I am sure Joy's name perfectly describes her. If she were my little girl, I would let everyone know her name is Joy and that is what she is.........pure joy. I'm sorry your husband's heart hurt so badly. It just shows how much he loves his little girl. I wish we could all be together to share our wonderful children because I am sure we would all be charmed by your delightful little girl.
Chris
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Post by ValerieC on Jul 10, 2006 20:48:27 GMT -5
I'm so sorry for your hubbie. It is a tough world sometimes and people just don't think about how their words and their actions affect others.
At least you guys know the truth about your beautiful little girl.
Valerie C
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Post by char on Jul 10, 2006 21:48:57 GMT -5
As I read this I can't help but cry. I find it so difficult to understand how people can be so insensitive, and raise their children to be that way as well.
Joy is a wonderful little girl, a beautiful part of your family.
Those who know me have heard Abby's story. I'd say that I've been well supported. I'm sure the day will come when I will have a different reaction. I just hope I will handle it with grace and dignity.
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Post by cindylou on Jul 11, 2006 14:12:04 GMT -5
Jenifer- that is a bummer-but part of me wonders if the mom was just trying to make it not a big deal?? Sometimes my kids ask that about other people/kids that have something going on--and I also say "I don't know--but I'm really glad you played with/talked with them..." I've had my share of troubling things people say--but I don't think my husband has had any. I'm thinking it's kinda good that your husband was there because sometimes they don't understand why we women are so emotional about little things because they haven't actually experienced them. Kaylee has had FAR more acceptance then rejection in this world and I think you'll find the same for JOY.
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Post by momofrussell on Jul 11, 2006 14:24:24 GMT -5
AWWW Poor hubby. Sounds like it was innocent but heartbreaking nonetheless. If in earshot... I might have turned around and just explained to the boy about your daughter. But that's me. I am always up for talking to kids about Russell. We do get the stares and the whys... and that's ok to me... I just try to help them understand it. I think Cindy might be right... the mom could have been down playing it. And maybe she truly didn't know or even notice, KWIM? It's best to not read to far into it or your heart will hurt more And I agree... there is nothing wrong with your daughter or any of our children! It just is! Hugs to your DH!!!! A.
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Post by Debbie on Jul 11, 2006 22:25:15 GMT -5
Jenifer,
I am so sorry you husband had to have this experience. It must have been awful for him.
I know that is only normal for a child to be curious and ask questions. He didn't know any better. I wish the Mother had said something different but she didn't.
I have not had any experience's like that. No one has really asked me why I look like I do but they have stared at me because of my eyes. My eyes move and I can't control them. I have the Rapid Eye. I want to say Nystigmastism but I am not real sure if that is the correct name.
It sad that your daughter may experience this in her life. I had some mistreatment in elementary school and still have some memories but it was so long ago that it seems very distant to me now.
I know that Joy will be simply what her name means. If you can, remember, that God loves her and that he treasures her as you do. She is a beautiful girl no matter what others may say.
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Post by Many on Jul 11, 2006 22:41:55 GMT -5
Jenifer...I feel so bad for your husband. I know some people only just care about themselves and don't even care if they hurt your feelings or not. But you guys aren't like that cause you are great parents and wonderful people!! And we need more people just like you into this world!!
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Post by 2forme on Jul 12, 2006 2:38:19 GMT -5
I hope my husband can handle it as well as yours. Tough break. My baby is only 5mns and I get alot of "shes so small, is she sitting, rolling over, crawling?" I just say yes. LOL.
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