Hubby and I disagree...

[Ericsmomma]

Just wanted some opinions on this...
Eric has some "sensory" issues....loud noises, crowded rooms,
not much for rides(hence thats why we skipped Kennywood at the pittsburgh get-to-gether), etc. I usually try to avoid these situations, but my hubby thinks we should "get him use to it"..
try these experiences, and maybe he won't be so upset.
I have mixed feelings on this...I've always observed that these stimulations really seem to bother Eric...like its almost physically painful...and it frightens him. But on the other hand, for awhile Eric would not go on the playset at our campgrounds. It has a twisty slide, a connector bridge that sways, tunnels, etc. If I put him physically on the slide, he would go down, but not climb up by himself. He wouldn't go across the bridge either, cuz it swayed. But low and behold, the last time we were there, he went on it HIMSELF, sliding, climbing the steps, etc. He even walked across the bridge himself, slowly at first, but then he was RUNNING across. I couldn't keep up with him!
So I guess my question is this....do kids with sensory issues ADAPT with exposure (and get better), or is it cruel to keep trying things that seem to bother them. Or in other words, am I holding back my child because I don't want to see him upset in any way, and therefore inhibiting his progress?

[Emilysmom]

WONDERFUL question Dolly!!! I hope someone with lots more sensory experience than I have will have a great answer for you.

Emily used to have some significant sensory issues with certain things..........just one example was that she simply could not stand any type of light touch, and the feeling of a stuffed animal would totally freak her out. We took her to an OT, who specialized in sensory integration therapy, and she gradually got much better with all of that. I can still remember how hard we worked up to the point where she would allow a feather boa to get near her! It was very gradual..........we didn't put her in a room full of stuffed animals or anything like that. To this day, she does not freak out or pull away from the feeling of a stuffed animal, but has never really developed any fondness for them either. She is no longer what I would call AFRAID of them though, so that's a good thing. She still does not want anyone to lightly rub her back, but is ok with the sensation of someone scratching her back. So, the therapy was helpful........but didn't remove her issues.

I think something like this might HELP Eric........but since you say things like loud noises, etc literally seem to cause him pain, I'm not sure it would be worth it to just expose him to it more and more with the hopes that he'd get used to it. With the extreme heat at Kennywood, you'd have to really WANT to be there to enjoy it! For me, the water park was MUCH more enjoyable because there was constant relief from the heat. It also wasn't as loud.

Susan

[momofrussell]

I think the answer is yes and no! LOL Only speaking from our personal experience though. Russell is like this and we have always had to pick and choose are places wisely. But... with that said.. there are times we say "ok, let's try it again".. and we do... and most of the times he still freaks but we've also gotten luck on occasion.

I think NEVER doing something again due to sensory issues isn't that answer. But yes, you are correct that for some kids with sensory issues it IS physically painful to them to subject them to certain things. And there is a difference between say Russell being stubborn and him being truly upset due to sensory imput. I can tell the difference.

What I might suggest you try is maybe taking some "soothers" with you. What makes Eric happy? What calms him? Music with headphones, ect??? This is something we try to think of doing to adapt. Maybe you and your hubby can think of some things to take with you to help calm him when he gets to that point?

I saw procede with caution and pick and choose your events. You might just get lucky!!! and if you don't ever get lucky... you can at least say you tried! It's very exhausting to try and know you have to turn around and go home right after you got there... we do that ALOT... but we still try sometimes...then there are the days Kevin and I look at each other and say "Oh no, we aren't even going to ATTEMPT it!" LOL

Good luck!!!I feel for you!

A.

[Becky]

Justin does not like loud music and really cant stand the sound of claping, his big buuba plays in the school band and Justin has never beeen able to sit threw any of there concerts(sp), but we keep taking him and make sure Im close to the door so if I have to get up with him, well bubba went to band camp and there were 5 differnt bands they could play in, bubba made the thrid band which meant we had to sit threw 2 before he played hubby said Justin cant do it and I said yes he can lets try, well Justin sat threw all three but had to leave after that due to the claping finally did get to him but what a great thing it was for him to sit that long before he got upset, so I say since we just kept taking him he did get use to it a little but like I said I was never to far from the door and the minute I say he had enough Id take him out.

Good luck
Becky

[SuziF]

I'd guess, like Becky & Susan suggested, with a little preplanning an event like Kennywood could succeed.
You'd need to look at the maps first ~ scope out areas most likely to be calmer. For example, the picnic groves at Kennywood are back in the shade at the one end of the park. Try planning your route with an escape contingency. I don't think I'd try something right away with no calming options. (For example I'd stay away from arcade type places & ChuckeePizza types)
I remember on one of Meri's first visits to a roller rink she was great till they turned th elights down low & turned on the disco ball, then she went nuts.
I'd think that the playground scenerio sounds hopeful. Good Luck!

[mommygwen]

I am also in the yes and no camp. We worked with an OT to over come some sensory issues. I remember "kooshball torture" I don't really like the way it feels on my mouth, but i made myself and my son get used to it.
Amusement parks and bowling alleys: we just kept trying. We stayed toward the quieter edge and worked in slowly. And always were ready to just leave.

[meghans_mom]

I'd have to say yes and no too. Meghan has aversions to alot of things -- I don't know if I can actually call these things sensory or not, although there are some sensory things...noises especially. Drills, vacuums, blenders. I can avoid drilling and vacuuming but I do need a pina colada once in awhile so to not run the blender is NOT an option.
Anyways, Meghan used to FREAK...and I've finally gotten to the point where I can vacuum or run the blender in the room with her.
One thing she was particularly afraid of is the salad spinner (noise)...DH used to have to take the spinner down the hall into the bathroom to dry the salad. He finally allowed HER to do the spinning and now (it did take awhile), she's not afraid anymore.
I think it's difficult, because it is a very real thing and it is something that disturbs our kids so it's hard to do...but I think conditioning them to deal with things like this is a good idea...just easier said than done.
Also, Meghan thinks she doesnt like amusement parks and things like that, but she DOES...once I can convince her that she likes a merry go round or whatever, then you can't get her off. She didn't like the water slide in school (one of those big ones) and now that's all she does -- I don't know if these were sensory things though.
I think if it's done in small doses it can be done with *most* kids...and I think most kids can adapt,
maybe start slowly like taking him to a game room or bowling alley, putting him on small rides at the mall or outside walmart (the ones that cost 50 cents)..even just putting him on to sit without the noise the first few times? Do brushing or sensory integration exercises before you take him in order for him to organize and process everything...ask the OT for suggestions...
anyways - i'm kind of on the fence too, but would tend more towards the try it side than not.
good luck - laurie

[Debbie]

I know what you mean about loud noises. I can't stand loud noise myself especially the clatter of pot's and pan's. I try to think of something else when that happens. Mom does not do it for a very long time thank goodness! It reminds me of a finger nail moving down a chalk board! There is some noises I can live with though considering that we will have it in our life. I can't stand loud music either. Yep, I am a quiet person most of the time!

I did have some space issues though. I just don't like someone I don't know touching me or standing real close. For some reason, it is a creepy feeling. I have become better as I have grown older.
I never have liked elevater's much but I can tolerate it much better now. I know I don't like someone creeping up on me to surprise me. I don't like that!

[Jessie]

My way of thinking has been like your husband's, Dolly. I think we have needed to continually expose Jason to things to get him used to them. Otherwise, how is he ever going to get used to them?

He can now handle being in a loud restaurant, sit through fireworks, go to a sporting event, etc. I took him to see "Disney's on the Record" last year and we were in like the 1st or 2nd row, super loud orchestra music and he didn't flinch.

Now, if he would have had a meltdown during anything like that I would have removed him, I wouldn't have made him suffer through it. Sometimes if we are at a loud event he will just cover his ears and that's ok. He can still hear what's going on and enjoy it, but just kind of softens it a bit for him.

Ellie's crying still drives him crazy. Again, I feel that he needs to just get used to it (I mean, geez, it's been almost 9 months!), however, the ride home from the cabin a few weeks agon when she cried for 45 minutes was way too much sensory overload for him. I felt bad for him that he was trapped in a vehicle with that - heck I wanted to start dry heaving too! But, I think he will eventually get used to this too, it's just taking some time.


Jessie

[MB]

When my son was 5, he went on sensory overload. Could not stand crowded rooms or loud noises. We would arrive at large function a half hour early so the noise would come gradually and then he was o.k.. Otherwise I held him in my arms for 20 minutes and let him control when he was ready to participate. Everytime someone tried to coax him out, he would retreat longer. I finally had to give everyone the "back off" stare and let the poor guy feel safe in my arms.

It was a phase that gradually went away. Now he has gradually developed a fear of open spaces. He doesn't like walking down to seats in a large arena or heights. He is upfront about it and will ask to hold someone's arm when in these situations. I am wondering if this too will pass if I simply respect his request for help and allow him to control the situation.

Hope this helps.

mb

[Claire]

Adam also does not like crowds and loud noises. Actually he doesn't do well in all new situations. In crowds he gets over stimulated and really grumpy, with loud noises he puts his hands on his ears and repeats "All done" until you can't hear the sound anymore, whether it be music or a train going by. We try to slowly integrate him to these situations but do not push the issue if he seems really upset. One example. He does fine swimming at the local pool, first time he went to the beach he was terrifed. It probably looked much bigger then a pool and also a lot of people there. After going a few times, all he did was play in the sand, we slowly got him to get water in a pail to help build a sand castle. Then all of a sudden he stepped into the water. Now he swims like a little just like in the pool. He is still careful around people splashing and does give them the evil eye. ;D ;D But I think like any fear it has to be approached with sensitivity and caution or you may get a child that now has a phobia.

[Kristin]

I agree with the YES and NO votes. I know that my daughter has sensory issues. She hates loud noises of anykind. I think it causes a sensory overload. We once got tickets to a "Dorothy the Dinosaur" show and had seats in the 6th row. As soon as the live show started, she covered her ears and tried to crawl under the seats! We ended up standing in the very back of the auditorium. She covered her ears to muffle the sound, but was able to stand it. This year during 4th of July fireworks, I put in her earplugs that I use for swimming. It seemed to help, but she still didn't like some of the fireworks. She liked sparklers, but couldn't stand the skyrockets that whistled and popped.
We were in San Diego yesterday and were touring boats at the maritime museum. She went on the first boat, but refused to go on the next two. My husband and I took turns sitting with her so the other could tour with our other daughter. As we were sitting, I was explaining to one of the docents that the swaying was bothering her. He suggested we try the ferryboat as it swayed the least. We were able to reluctantly and gently drag her on to the boat, and she was fine once she was distracted by everything to see. We did a celebratory high five at the end, and she felt like she had mastered a new skill.
We've seen her get overloaded, and then she's a handfull. I try to avoid noisy restaurants. We try to take her as many places as possible. I have a friend who has a sister with DS who is in her fifties. She once told me to not stop taking Clarice out to places that bother her. She said that she believed that because her family sheltered her sister from these type of things that they have a much harder time taking her to places. There are many books and videos available on sensory integration. You might try looking at some of these. We used to do a lot of things with tactile stimulation. We had a basket full of toys that had different textures. We find that with time, she does adjust to some of the stimulations, but that she does not overcome them completely. Like much of her world, we modify things as needed. I also find, as you did with the playset, that if she is allowed to take the time to explore on her own, she will often slowly adjust on her own and overcome the problem herself. I'd try to adapt in little steps. Good luck! Kristin

[CC]

"So I guess my question is this....do kids with sensory issues ADAPT with exposure (and get better), or is it cruel to keep trying things that seem to bother them"

Chris was one with major sensory issues and for us making sure he got the exposure along with maturity really was a big plus. Doing fun things that appeared to freak him out only way I can explain is like how he would freak when he had to give blood. K, when the Docs needed blood there was no choice we just had to make it happen, KWIM then one day after many many visits of 4 to 5 people holding him down he just walked in sat in the chair pulled up his sleeve (sp?) and put his arm out LOL as if he always did it that way Same for hair cutting was a night mare I tell you then one day he said OK but we had to cut his hair even when he freaked, KWIM So we did the same with things like the circus or ice shows or places like that. When he was little OMG you would think taking him to the circus was a punishment so we would go with the thought in mind that after so long if he really just couldn't handle it we would have to leave. For us each time got a little better or lets say we could stay a little longer till one day BAM he was like OK this is OK. Even now at 13 there are a few times, thankfully just a few that he just seems to get overload and we may have to leave the situation but keep pushing him worked for us. Not sure if it would be right for your son, you would know better.

Best of Luck I can relate

CC ~

[andrewsmom]

Ahhhh yes...."sensory overload". We have experienced our share too. Andrew's way of dealing with it is to throw himself down on the floor and just kind of turn himself off. He will just lie there, not caring if people have to step over him, trip over him etc. I have to say he has gotten better lately. I think it's mainly because we have just kept on doing things with him...kwim?

We started Andrew in horse therapy not too long ago. The first session was just AWFUL!!! He screamed, growled, threw himself back on the horse (sort of like lying down) and would not get back up. I kept thinking, oh boy...this isn't going to work. But thanks to the owners (who have more experience then me ) Andrew is now LOVING riding the horse. He is even trying to "rock" the horse to go faster...lol! When I was ready to give up that first day, the owners told me they see this all the time and to just keep doing it. And it definately has worked for Andrew.

Also...have you tried brush therapy at all? I know when it was first introduced to me I was like...yeah ok...brushing him 3 times a day is really going to help him. But I have to say, we noticed a really big difference. From not walking on grass or sand at the beach, to having absolutely no problem at all. Now we can go down the lake and there is no more growling and screaming...it's great! I also do the brushing right before a big event like a graduation, or if we are going to a busy restaurant. Just maybe another thought for you. Good luck!!

-Trisha

[Valerie]

We definitely have problems with crowds and loud noises, too! We keep taking him to these situations hoping he'll get used to it, and he has gotten MUCH better! There are still times when he has a meltdown and then we leave, because like you said, it seems as though it is actually painful or at the very least he is truly terrified! One thing that still does not work for him is anything in the school gym. That enclosed space with all the people and the echoing loud noises is simply too much for him. I don't even know if he'll be able to go to his brother's graduation in the spring! But we keep trying. That's all you can do! Like I said, it is better!