Do you ever wonder

[Renee']

These past few weeks Lauren has been pretty sick. We found out she has asthma and her heart was upgraded from a mild to moderate leak. Each time I look at her I wonder how long I will have with her. Nothiing morbid, I just wonder...
It scares me some days to think I may out live her. Silly isn't it?

Just wondering if any of you ever get this way.

[CC]

For me, I get caught up on OMG what will happen to my guy when I am gone, KWIM But then I just have to switch my brain from thinking that way. BUT yes the first year Chris was born I worried so much with his heart issues that we may lose him, that I was afraid to bond to much. That kind of sounds bad I guess but it honest, I was so afraid he would not make it his first year BUT thankfully I snapped out of that thinking

Its hard when your child has any health issues to not worry bout it once and awhile I think. My Mom lost 3 kids before she passed and it just is not right. Parents should never lose their kids

CC ~

[dannysmom]

I feel this way everyday. I am a worrier by nature, and boy do I worry. I have tried to calm down over the last 16 months and make a conscious effort relax and enjoy my son. I try and take the best care of both of my children every day. So if today is their last, and they go to heaven, and God asks...How did she do as a mother?.....I want the answer to be "Wonderful, she loved us with all of her heart".

[Jenifer]

Joy is relatively healthy and I still think about this often. I know her lifespan may only take her into her mid-50's, but even that is not a guarantee. I try to envision life without Joy, and it makes me so sad. I also worry about ailments she may encounter because of Ds, such as Alzheimer's, leukemia, etc.


Jenifer, mom to Joy Daiys

[momofrussell]

hmmm call me crazy but I don't have these thoughts... yet And yes, maybe if Russell's health was a bit different maybe I would. So, I can understand why you do have those thoughts Renee. Makes perfect sense to me.

What I DO think about is where Russell will be when he is an adult.. both cognitively and where he'd be, like living with us, ect. I have NO probs with him living with us for the rest of his life, and well, at the moment Kevin and I kinda already expect that.. but I often look at Russell and wonder if he will ever progress to the point of having some quality of life beyond mommy changing his diapers and him helping me with pouring juice and eating mac and cheese. And I KNOW it's not the end of the world if I DO change his diapers for the rest of his life and all that comes with that... but I just wonder where we will be.. that's all. I've already prepared myself for diapers and mac and cheese just in case though But I am secretly shooting for STEAKS AND URINALS! LMAO

A.

[Chris]

I worry about this with both of my daughters. It happens to me in the middle of the night when I have insomnia. I wonder how I could survive if I lost one of my girls. I think about families who lose two or all their children to horrible accidents. I don't know how they manage to go on.

Since Sarah managed to survive until she was born and then made it through being so ill with heart failure and surgery, I don't worry about her dying anymore than I do about my other child. I also worry about what will happen to Sarah after we die. I just assume that she will outlive us.

Chris

[ValerieC]

Too funny A!

I, too, have never had those thoughts of life without Alethea. I really just enjoy the moments we're in with each of our children. I don't think too much of their futures, what they'll be, etc. I guess I'm too into molding and shaping now. The teen years come too quickly and then I'll begin thinking that way about them.

Valeire C

[momofrussell]

YES, ValerieC... they turn 13 and then your thoughts suddenly become "how can I kick this child out at 18"! LOL

A.

[Staci]

Having 2 sweet babies with health issues, I worry about it a lot. I think about it a lot. I cry when I think of the "what if's" and I think I would die myself without either of them. It's the hardest thing I've ever dealt with, watching my two babies so sick, so many surgeries, and more to come. I don't know how much more I....or they...can handle. I can't imagine my life without them...I try to not take anything for granted and enjoy them right here and now...every day...in every moment. Even every fight, whine, and fit You just never know...even if they were born with perfect little hearts and bodies...you just never know. It makes my heart break, thinking about it.

[Emilysmom]

I think, because of the fact that Emily has been very healthy throughout her life so far, I have never given that any thought................well, not any more thought than a passing horrific thought about what would I do if something happened to ANY of my children. I can't imagine how horrible it would be and I just can't let myself think about it.

What I do tend to get caught up in at times is what will happen if/when I'm not able to be there for Emily. I can go overboard worrying about that one if I let myself!!! I do believe that Emily's brothers will help her in every possible way as she gets older. But I admit that I do feel more of an urgency to live long enough to be there for her as long as she needs me. GULP.........there are 35 years difference in our ages. When she is 50, I'll be 85. Ok, I'm going to think about this another day.

[paulinemjc48]

I wonder about it all the time ! We have nearly lost Nicky on a number of occasions and I know it could happen at any time. sometimes it is just at the back of my mind but then comes right to the front again . I do try not to be morbid and can only talk about the future with one of my friends as the others seem to think I shouldn't think this way. We do live for each day but still plan for the future with Nicky still being a big part of it. I am not sure if knowing that he has a shortened life expectancy due to his complex medical problems is good or bad .

[char]

I have worried about all four of my children and all of the eight grandchildren. I think that's one of my character flaws. When Abby was born, there was real and present danger that she would not live, and that was more than valid reason to worry.

I think part of my problem is that when I was young, I had little life experience and didn't know all that could happen or go wrong. At 62 I'm much wiser...not happy about that...and know more. I have friends who have lost children to illness. My heart bleeds for them.

I have a son who was in Desert Storm, he is now a firefighter, and he's in the Army reserves. Believe me, I worry a lot about him.

What I do when these thoughts come along is I ask God to remove them and to protect my children and grandchildren. I know if I didn't ask for help, I'd end up making myself miserable and not accomplishing anything.

I guess for me the bottom line is that I know God is in charge, and my job is to rely on Him.

[kellyds]

Because I worked in an ER for twenty-odd years, I find myself STARTING to worry a lot. Believe me, I've seen some horrible things happen to people's children.

I just push it away and decide not to borrow trouble. *sigh* I do have to keep reminding myself that it does no good to worry about things that are out of my control.

[Renee']

I guess reading the life expectancy of our children gets to me. Add Lauren's health issues and we are looking in the 30's. I will only be in my 50's which is where my mom is. I can't imagine Lauren passing at my age. I know I am weird but it has been on my mind because she has been sick.
My husband was wounded pretty bad in Iraq and I still worry about him. I need to let it go.

[char]

Renee, I just think sometimes it's hard not to worry when we see those we love having problems. It's one thing to imagine something. It's an entirely different thing to have a real issue with which to try and deal. It's real that Lauren has health issues, and it's real that your husband was wounded.

We aren't superwomen although at times I think I should be. We are real people with real feelings and emotions.

I was talking to a friend last night who is concerned about something very real that is happening in her family. I would think she was nuts if she were NOT concerned about it.

Bless you and yours.

Char